Junk Food Nanny

[Anonymous]

Okay, I have a gripe.

I am a nanny for a family of two boys, ages 3 + 4. I have been with them for about 3.5 mos now and was told upon hire that I would be responsible for bringing my own lunch to work every day which I completely understood and had no qualms about. In fact, I usually do this since I am not comfortable helping myself to other people's food.

Well I will be the first to admit one of my vices is that I am not the healthiest eater. A typical lunch bag for me would be a mustard + bologna sandwich, hot cheetos, oreos, fruity snacks and a juice box. Occasionally I will bring a Lunchable instead of a sandwich and if I am in the mood, I might toss in a banana. LOL.

Anyway, the family I work for shops at Farmer's Markets, Trader Joe's, etc.
They eat purely organic foods from their chicken to their ketchup. (Btw, I NEVER knew there was such a thing as organic Ketchup!!)
They encourage healthy eating for their kids.
Their kids have never eaten fast food and they typically snack on seaweed strips, bell peppers w/peanut butter or dry veggies.

I think it is great they are feeding their kids healthy meals and snacks. I think good nutrition starts in the home and that w/the right foods these children will have an excellent start in life.

However, I like to eat what I eat. I know my diet is not the healthiest, but I am a 37 year old adult and it is my CHOICE what I put into my mouth.

Well my boss works from home and so when I eat my lunch, she constantly criticizing my food choices. She says I need to eat healthier and that I am putting too much junk into my body. While I do not disagree w/what she says, again, as a full-grown adult, I feel I have the right to eat whatever I want. Am I wrong?

Yesterday she actually told me that from now on, she would appreciate it if I brought healthy and ONLY healthy meals into her home. She said it was unacceptable for me to eat cheetos and Lunchables in front of her sons since this will make them want to eat these foods too. Unfortunately the boys do not nap anymore, so it's not like I can eat my lunch when they sleep.

Okay...my question is this.
Since she is going to dictate what I eat for lunch and set rules (that were NEVER discussed during our interview or upon hire), then I feel she should provide my lunches from now on.

I understand she has a right to what foods she will or will not allow in her home. However I was never told upon hire that I had to bring only a certain type of food into the home.
If she wants me to eat a certain way, then let her provide my food. Otherwise, it is my choice what to pack for my lunches.

Do bosses really have a right to say what we can eat for lunch?

[Anonymous]

No bosses don't have the right to say what you eat for lunch. She is being a stingy bitch for not letting you have snacks from her house. It speaks volumes about the person when they are not generus enough to offer a snack or two!! She does not hve the right to ask you.......legally, no one will say she doesn't. BUT theohereciyall for someone will freaking manners and consideration, she should not ask this of you, it is rude!

BUT I can also see where she is coming from, you eat junk You are a nanny and work with kids, why set them up to eat crap like you? Why not encourage eating healthy by doing the same? It helps your body and kids will see and do as you, and after x amount of times, they will want to try this junk and MB is afraid it might go downhill from there.


You have a choice, be a good nanny, and role model including in what you eat, as they do pick up on this.

OR talk with them and let them know, it won't be a good fit for you!
Sounds like this could be the start of possible issues so, I hope you have a backup job?...


BTW. My bosses are healthy eaters too...and I am encouraged to eat from their fridge and MB even shops groceries for me.

[Anonymous]

PP. Generous* Also, she shouldn't ask you to, but it is her house and her rules...so if she does ask...well, she can but it does not make it right and if you don't follow her rules, then well you know whats best....walk away!

[Anonymous]

PP. Theoretically**

[Anonymous]

This is tough for me as a MB. I do think you have a right to eat whatever you want, but I wouldn't want you eating hot Cheetos or lunchables in front of my child either, because at 3-4, the kids are still learning by example, so you can say "Cheetos are bad for you" to the kids but it won't have any effect if they see you eating them regularly. I guess if it were me, I'd try to work with you on some healthy and acceptable alternatives to what you normally eat, and agree to provide those for you if they were costly and different from what your grocery budget allows. I don't know if that would solve the problem though, since I don't see you suddenly loving seaweed strips, and there are not really easy healthy replacements for what you regularly eat. Do you think there are healthy foods that MB could buy that you would want?

I'll admit though, I'd probably think maybe we were not the best fit if I were dealing with this and there was no happy compromise. In this day and age, food choices are such a hot topic and important issue for parents that if we were not reasonably aligned on what to model for the kids, I might seek a better fit.

[Anonymous]

Any person who tells another adult how to live her life, including what to eat and what not to eat has control issues. You are not hurting the children by your diet and it really is none of her freakin' business what you eat for your lunches. She is on a power trip.

Like, what does she do when she drives past a Mickey D's? Tell her boys to cover their eyes? Or when they pass another person on the street munching on a candy bar? She can't shield these kids from the world. Eventually they will see people eat certain foods and sooner or later they will know what a candy bar or Happy Meal is. LOL!!

I would continue to bring what you are bringing in for lunch. If she truly has a gripe, then leave.
Bosses who instruct their employees what to bring for lunch are totally out of their element here.

This lady is a nutcase.

[Anonymous]

PP, it's one thing for a 3 year old to see a fast food restaurant on the street. It's another to watch his nanny eat Cheetos every day. One is an abstract food option not available to the child. The other is behavior he sees modeled everyday, and food he can see, smell and touch. I can tell my child fast food is bad for him and not okay to eat, but that argument loses strength if he sees his nanny eat it everyday and she's fine. I would hope that if you are a caregiver you could see that effect, and that it was just an overreaction to say that what the nanny eats causes no harm to the kids.

[Anonymous]

This food would be totally unacceptable to me as an MB. We have made a lot of changes in our diet to model healthy eating for our kids, and I would expect said modeling to be a part of any professional caregiver's job. In all honesty, this would be like discovering my boys were watching you take a smoke break once a day (not all day long, obviously) -- not going to ruin your health, totally legal, not going to hurt their health directly -- but sending a message I'm not willing to pay for.

That said, I would happily provide food for the nanny if she could tell me what she would be willing to eat that isn't junk.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fair for her to ask you to set a healthy example for the kids but that she should provide your meals if that's her priority. You can say, "MB, I completely understand where you're coming from but I don't purchase those foods for myself and don't plan to change my grocery shopping habits any time soon. I'm happy to continue bringing my own lunch but if you have concerns about what I'm eating why don't I make my lunch here with the kids? Since you don't stock junk food in the house you can be sure that my eating is setting a good example for them." If she isn't ok with that you need a new job.

[Anonymous]

I see both sides of this.

Ultimately I'd start looking for a new job because I think that is Where you are headed whether your choice or hers. Next time, let the family know in advance what lunches/snacks are common for you so they can decide if its an issue.

I have terrible eating habits at home, but at work I try to eat my healthy stuff (fruits, veggies, Greek yogurt, nuts, etc) instead of my cookies/cupcakes/chips/soda. But then I feel just as strongly about children eating healthy because food habits are formed early. It just happens I was raised in an unhealthy food environment and still struggle with the effects of that. But knowing that- it makes me even more concerned that the kids I care for see me eating mostly healthy foods with the occasional treat/ junk. I would do the same for my own children. The plus side is that as a result of doing this- the families I've worked with have exposed me to new healthy foods I've found I liked, and having to find enough healthy foods I like for when I'm at work has helped improve my eating habits and health at home as well.

[Anonymous]

I think you can educate your child about making healthy food choices as long as YOU the parent model healthy eating. It is not the duty nor should it be the duty for a nanny to be a role model for eating her veggies. She is an adult and it is entirely up to her to eat whatever she wants. As a parent, you can teach your child about nutrition and practice what you preach. Everything else is out of your control. If they ask why the nanny eats cheetos and bologna sandwiches, you can explain that while you advocate for healthy eating, not everyone does and that it is a personal choice which diet to follow.

If healthy eating is SO freakin' important to your boss, then it is her responsibility to provide your meals.

She can't dictate how or what you should eat, then not provide you with food. If she wants her kids to see you eat healthy, then she NEEDS to provide the healthy food for you to eat in front of her kids.

Believe me, this is micromanaging at its worst.
Even if you started bringing in celery and spinach for lunch, it wouldn't solve a thing.
She would just be telling you how to dress, how to speak and so on.

She is a control "Type A" freak and needs to leave you alone!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Organic food and Trader Joe's foods are a lot more expensive than the typical grocery store.

Most nannies do not make a ton of money so shopping for organic food may not even be an option.

If your boss wants you to eat organic/healthy meals from now on, then she needs to purchase the food since it is in her budget to do so.

#Shesoundsalittlelooneytome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, it's one thing for a 3 year old to see a fast food restaurant on the street. It's another to watch his nanny eat Cheetos every day. One is an abstract food option not available to the child. The other is behavior he sees modeled everyday, and food he can see, smell and touch. I can tell my child fast food is bad for him and not okay to eat, but that argument loses strength if he sees his nanny eat it everyday and she's fine. I would hope that if you are a caregiver you could see that effect, and that it was just an overreaction to say that what the nanny eats causes no harm to the kids.

plus 1000000000


Honestly you are suppose to set an example, eating Cheetos and letting him know they're bad for you..yet you keep doing it, what type of example are you setting him?..

[Anonymous]

I feel that setting an example for your charges at meal times is part of your job, but I agree that if your MB is going to dictate what is and is not okay then she should be prepared to provide it. I was raised eating crap, and did so through college. Now in my early 20's I made a switch to natural healthy foods and it has made a huge difference in my health but also in my grocery bill. I think you should consider the change for yourself, but if the increased grocery bill is the problem that's something to bring up with your MB as a reason she should consider providing lunch.

[Anonymous]

OMG. You guys act like if a child sees someone eating hot cheetos in their home will make them want to eat some too?

Hogwash.


Seems you are missing the point.

Where does it say that a boss has a right to mandate that an employee brings only a certain type of food to work???

Last I heard, it is a free country.