Politely declined potential nanny due to her size

[Anonymous]

I have been narrowing my nanny search down and put alot of effort into weeding out particular childcare providers that I felt wouldn't be a good fit for my family. I found several canadites whom I really approved of and eventually narrowed it down to this one particular woman. She had the right answers, right attitude, personality, experience, early childhood education. Everything.

I know I'm going to sound like a judgemental, horrible person but please understand I have my reasons.

I had my first face-to-face interview with her today and the moment I opened my door I was shocked. This woman was much larger then her photos. In fact, I think her photos were taken years prior. She looked double her weight. Her photos made appeared to be somewhat athletic. I mean not 6 pack abs or anything, but healthy.

I went along with the interview even though I knew my mind was already made up.

I'm so upset with myself because I told the other potential nanny that I found other arrangements only because we already had an "online interview" and she was eager to start and continued to message me and I didn't want to lead her on.

Now what do I do? Has this happened to anyone else. Would it be inappropriate to contact the second potential nanny and tell her that my childcare arrangements didn't fall threw and see if she is still interested?
Please help.

- A stressed out mother of two

[Anonymous]

"Would it be inappropriate to contact the second potential nanny and tell her that my childcare arrangements didn't fall threw and see if she is still interested? "

Go ahead and contact your runner up and ask if she is stil looking for a postion

[Anonymous]

Yes it is fine to contact the backup. All the second choice can do is say no. Although as an MB, I can't see why you'd turn down all your other options before you met your top choice face to face. That seems naive, not just because she may turn out to weigh more than you want (and I am not commenting at all on that issue) but because you could just as easily have met your top choice, and found that although she matched her photo perfectly, but you just didn't get a good feeling or like her interaction with your kids.

[Anonymous]

What if the runnerup is obese to?

[Anonymous]

OP, please tell us why you how you feel your first choice's weight would not make her the right fit for your family.

[Anonymous]

Hope the runner up aka "the skinny nanny" doesn't abuse your kids and will treat them just as well as the "little extra meat nanny" would have....

[Anonymous]

Obese is not "a little extra".

[Anonymous]

First of all, OP never said potential candidate was obese, just larger than she first thought. And if she were obese, why would that be a negative. Before anyone says fat people can't keep up with toddlers, I've been doing it for years and know other nannies whose weight doesn't affect their job performance in any way. So I am still interested in why OP decided not to hire this nanny. OP?

[Anonymous]

I am an overweight nanny but I'm working on changing that. I'm so glad that I wasn't not hired due to my weight because if they had decided I was a bad fit based on my weight they would have missed out on a pretty great nanny. I get right in there with the kids every day and am way more active that people would think. I have a thyroid and hormonal imbalance that caused the weight gain that I recently started meds for. I have never stopped being active. Maybe there is a vaid reason the nanny is overweight and maybe she could keep up with the children. You could have given her a trial for a day to see how she did.

[Anonymous]

"She looked double her weight."
I'd be concerned about an obese person being much more prone to having a sudden massive heart attack, or something like that. Seeing that you're alone, then what? Hope that the kids are old enough to call 911?

[Anonymous]

As a nanny who was hired when I was "obese" by bmi standards, recently lost 50 lbs, and am well on my way to being in the "normal weight" category, I'm so glad I was hired as a bigger person. Because that means my employers, who I still work for, are not overly judgmental and naive to think that fat=lazy or incapable of being a nanny. I was just as good a nanny 50 lbs ago as I am now. They cheer me on everyday for my weight loss and I know this is because of their genuine love for me and not because they thought I couldn't do my job when I was heavier. They kept me on for 30 yrs as an obese person! Btw you don't have to weigh over 200 lbs to be obese...I think most people are oblivious when it comes to bmi...

[Anonymous]

Would anyone here hire a solitary caregiver for your kid, who was in obvious poor health? Even if the person was the grandmother, most m

[Anonymous]

...most mom wouldn't take that risk.

[Anonymous]

I think some of you are making some large assumptions that being obese means a person is poor health and is going to have a heart attack any minute. Is everyone who is of average weight in good health?

[Anonymous]

An obese person does not have a "good health" doctor's assessment, no matter what the cause.