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Anonymous wrote:nannydebsays wrote:Surrogates must have already had a child/children. That means you cannot qualify unless you are already a mom.
I would say something like, "I understand how much you want a third child, and I hope your wish does come true.
However, I am not qualified to be a surrogate at this time, and I have no interest in continuing to discuss the prospect of me carrying your 3rd child.
Hearing you both talk about it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I want any discussion about me and surrogacy stopped now."
Be frank, but not brutal.
fired
Sued for harassment and hostile working conditions.
"I was fired when I asked them to stop talking about borrowing my uterus to have a child. I am not for rent."
Anonymous wrote:Is this a typical thing for nannies to worry about? I can't imagine telling my nanny that the pediatrician said that my toddler was underweight and needs to eat more calorie dense foods and giving no further guidance. This is my problem to solve as my children's mom. How did this become the nanny's problem?
If nanny does the cooking/meal planning for child, and parents are not good cooks/meal planners, then I can see this falling to nanny.
And presumably, she needs freezable items so the parents can defrost nutritious food when nanny is not working.
Surrogates must have already had a child/children. That means you cannot qualify unless you are already a mom.
I would say something like, "I understand how much you want a third child, and I hope your wish does come true.
However, I am not qualified to be a surrogate at this time, and I have no interest in continuing to discuss the prospect of me carrying your 3rd child.
Hearing you both talk about it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I want any discussion about me and surrogacy stopped now."
Be frank, but not brutal.
I would say something like, "I understand how much you want a third child, and I hope your wish does come true.
However, I am not qualified to be a surrogate at this time, and I have no interest in continuing to discuss the prospect of me carrying your 3rd child.
Hearing you both talk about it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I want any discussion about me and surrogacy stopped now."
Be frank, but not brutal.
OP, your nanny is letting you know that she does not want to work the extra hours you ask her to work. I think you should pay attention and be proactive, because the reason many nannies leave jobs is due to burnout from excessive OT.
Find 2 or 3 back-ups you can trust. Ask Nanny if she has any friends who SHE trusts that might be looking for evening work. Interview, train the back-up(s) and have your nanny train them too.
It sounds as if you truly appreciate your nanny and the hard work she does for you. Being willing to help her resolve this issue will show Nanny that you listen and care about her well-being.
Find 2 or 3 back-ups you can trust. Ask Nanny if she has any friends who SHE trusts that might be looking for evening work. Interview, train the back-up(s) and have your nanny train them too.
It sounds as if you truly appreciate your nanny and the hard work she does for you. Being willing to help her resolve this issue will show Nanny that you listen and care about her well-being.
If her surgeon doesn't work on Fridays, she won't be able to schedule her appointment so that she has the weekend to recover and minimizes her time out of work.
It isn't. No cheap background "check" is going to reveal important info. You can either find a brick and mortar PI or an on-line service to do an actual, thorough, complete check. That will cost a good bit more, but it's completely worth it, don't you think?
Anonymous wrote:Even $400 per family per week would be low.
No. It would be about right.
No, it would be low. 50 hours a week means 10 hours of OT. $400/55 hours (to account for the OT) is $7.27/hour. That is, in fact, low.
OP, in your shoes I would be concerned that you would not qualify for any childcare tax credits since you would not have IRS approved records of your childcare expenses.
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are at the begninning stages of looking for childcare. We're thinking about starting a nanny share and are hoping this would mean saving a little money. Please weigh in on whether we're way off base with pay or not. We are in the Landmark area of Alexandria.
Here are the expectations:
-Care for two children under 1 yr. old (Full-time, 50 hrs/week, paid Fed holidays off, summers off unpaid)
-Light child-related housekeeping
Pay: Total of $400/week -$1600/month- ($200/weekly per family)
Do we stand any chance of finding a great nanny at this level of pay?
You will never find anyone decent for less than minimum wage. If slightly less than $200/week is your max budget, I am not sure what to tell you. In my area, you could find a good family style daycare for that, but you would not find a decent daycare facility and you cannot afford an Au Pair.
Perhaps your best bet is to seek out a SAHM who is interested in doing childcare for grocery money, and trim the hours substantially. You could also try to bargain trading weekend care for the SAHM for some of the cost of your needs.
Rock bottom cost for a nanny share with a nanny who might stay with you and not leave ASAP for better pay and less hassle is $16/hour ($8/hour per family) plus overtime. Since you will be letting nanny go every summer, you will likely need to find a new nanny each fall.
Your lowest cost possible would be $8/hour for 50 hours per week, 10 hours of OT = $440/week PER FAMILY, plus all employer taxes and expenses will add about 10% to that cost. And there is no chance of much "light housekeeping" other than basic child items being dealt with. No laundry, no vacuuming, nothing but bottles and dishes.
In all sincerity, if you can only afford to pay $10,000 or less for childcare, you might want to see if you can afford to SAH. Or you could try to find a job share for yourself and another new mom, and take turns working in the office and working at home caring for both babies.
If I damage or break something, I offer to replace it. No employer has ever accepted that offer.
For the PP indicating this is "really" a 1 kid job, where do you propose OP stash her older child the 35 hours per week she is not in school? Because Nanny is only getting paid to care for one kid in your universe.
Anonymous wrote:Pay the 1 child rate for X hours there is 1 child and the 3 child rate when there are 3 children being cared for (after school, snow days, random school days off).
1 child rate is $15-17 ph, 3 child rate is 19-20 ph. Driving is IRS $ per mile, or 5-10/week depending on time/distance. Vacations should be the guaranteed minimum (1 child rate * 40 hours). Plenty of time for meal prep, kid tidying/laundry while young one naps.
This is fine if you like tracking who was with nanny when in 15 minute increments.
Most people I know who start with a new nanny when baby #3 is born simply pay a slightly lower than normal 3 kid rate (or a slightly higher than normal 1 kid rate) for all hours nanny works. I'd see what kind of candidates you get with an offer of $18/hour plus OT, or $990-/week.
Have nanny track mileage and pay the IRS rate. $10/week covers less than 18 total miles.
And the fastest way to lose the interest of any experienced nanny is to tell her that when YOU choose not to use her services she will take a 25% pay cut (10 hours = $198, 8 hours = $144) for each day you are gone. Use guaranteed hours. Pay her her 50 hour rate 52 weeks a year.
What the PP said. It's not at all unreasonable to have a nanny work doing things like laundry, grocery shopping, light tidying type housework, etc. when all the kids are in school. That ensures you have nanny there for you in case a child doesn't go to school, and you need care.
Don't poach, just talk to the nanny, tell her you really love how committed she is to her charge, and ask her if she knows of anyone in her nanny circle looking for a FT job in the next few months.
If she is happy and content in her position, she may actually be able to connect you with a nanny like her. If she is not content, then she can take the lead and ask YOU what you need and what you are offering.
If she is happy and content in her position, she may actually be able to connect you with a nanny like her. If she is not content, then she can take the lead and ask YOU what you need and what you are offering.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you. All this is really helpful. Regardless of our rate, we would offer sick days and PTO included. There would be unscheduled days off when we have family in town and we wouldn't need nanny coverage too. That happens at least 3 weeks a year. Additionally, we leave for 2-3 weeks a year that would be additional time off for the nanny--so she'd get around 5-6 wks off in addition to her own time off. We would offer PTO of two weeks on top of that as well as sick leave. I'm not sure what others do, but that would just be assumed in our case. We also don't consistently need a nanny at 50 hrs/wk so maybe we should consider pulling back the initial offer to 45 hrs/wk and paying extra for the times we're late.
Really appreciate the advice on overtime. We currently just handle that through our payroll agency so it's above board but we just didn't describe it that way to our nanny. I'll include the OT on the next contract.
As a nanny, my preference would be to not be notified last minute that I would be late leaving. I think many parents don't build in a little extra time at the end of the day that will cover "late" returns home, and nannies tend to have things to do and places to be after work.
If it's financially possible, build in a little extra time at the end of the day. Letting nanny go "early" (by 30 minutes or less) is better than asking nanny to stay late.
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