NF "joking" about me being their surrogate

[Anonymous]

I've been with NF for three years, we are very close. My charges were conceived via IVF, and MB had a horrible pregnancy and frankly almost died. She cannot carry another pregnancy but would like to have a third child. She is looking for a surrogate to carry two of the embryos that are in storage.

They've been searching for about a year and really haven't had success. They've made remarks that seemed like they wanted me to carry, and recently they've "joked" about it (straight out asked me and when I hesitated they said they were joking).

I feel uncomfortable, if like to help them but just...it feels weird. I am 24 and and have never been pregnant so I'm pretty sure that disqualifies me anyways.

I'm planning on asking for a raise on my four year mark and I'm afraid that this will be held over my head, or like... "Hey, if you need more money...."

I had mentioned I needed to get my car fixed and DB told me if I had their baby he'd get me a new car and they'd make sure I was pampered. I kind of laugh it off, we have a real joking relationship but this is weird.

[Anonymous]

Why not do it? Why so stuck up?

[Anonymous]

That's really inappropriate of them.
The are attempting to manipulate you and call it"joking"
You are under no obligation to be their surrogate.

[Anonymous]

I think you should talk to the MB about this.

"Laurie, I love the kids, and love working for you and Jim. It would be great if you two had another child, and I'm absolutely rooting for you to get what you want. But it makes me really uncomfortable when you guys make jokes about me being the surrogate, and I would very much appreciate if you wouldn't do that anymore. I'd love to take care of a third child of yours, but I can't help produce that child. Okay?"

Ideally she'll say of course and she's sorry she's made you uncomfortable and then will tell her husband and he'll stop with the jokes too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not do it? Why so stuck up?

Because it's a huge commitment. What if something goes wrong? What if I have a horrible pregnancy and can't work? What if something happens and I miscarry and they hate me?

How am I suppose to care for a baby I've given birth to that's not mine? I'd be too emotionally attached, it's just all around a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

You aren't even a good troll. Go away.

[Anonymous]

You're right.

Considering that you haven't given birth previously, this automatically disqualifies you from becoming a surrogate.

Don't your bosses already know this?

They are simply barking up the wrong tree.

They would have better luck asking my Grandfather.

[Anonymous]

These parents are really sick.

[Anonymous]

I'm fairly certain this exact scenario has been trolled about before. Nice try though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm fairly certain this exact scenario has been trolled about before. Nice try though

No, I don't think so. You're the troll.

[Anonymous]

This has been discussed before try searching for surrogate nannies. One poster commented how she was a surrogate and it was hard for her to care for a baby she gave birth to and when the parents did stuff she didn't agree with it put a strain on their relationship and the job ended because she had a bond with the child

[nannydebsays]

Surrogates must have already had a child/children. That means you cannot qualify unless you are already a mom.

I would say something like, "I understand how much you want a third child, and I hope your wish does come true.

However, I am not qualified to be a surrogate at this time, and I have no interest in continuing to discuss the prospect of me carrying your 3rd child.

Hearing you both talk about it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I want any discussion about me and surrogacy stopped now."

Be frank, but not brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should talk to the MB about this.

"Laurie, I love the kids, and love working for you and Jim. It would be great if you two had another child, and I'm absolutely rooting for you to get what you want. But it makes me really uncomfortable when you guys make jokes about me being the surrogate, and I would very much appreciate if you wouldn't do that anymore. I'd love to take care of a third child of yours, but I can't help produce that child. Okay?"

Ideally she'll say of course and she's sorry she's made you uncomfortable and then will tell her husband and he'll stop with the jokes too.

Great response.

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:Surrogates must have already had a child/children. That means you cannot qualify unless you are already a mom.

I would say something like, "I understand how much you want a third child, and I hope your wish does come true.

However, I am not qualified to be a surrogate at this time, and I have no interest in continuing to discuss the prospect of me carrying your 3rd child.

Hearing you both talk about it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I want any discussion about me and surrogacy stopped now."

Be frank, but not brutal.

This sounds unnecessarily bitchy to me. Some of the word choices just aren't appropriate for talking to another adult, and certainly not your employer. Try what 22:37 said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:Surrogates must have already had a child/children. That means you cannot qualify unless you are already a mom.

I would say something like, "I understand how much you want a third child, and I hope your wish does come true.

However, I am not qualified to be a surrogate at this time, and I have no interest in continuing to discuss the prospect of me carrying your 3rd child.

Hearing you both talk about it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I want any discussion about me and surrogacy stopped now."

Be frank, but not brutal.

This sounds unnecessarily bitchy to me. Some of the word choices just aren't appropriate for talking to another adult, and certainly not your employer. Try what 22:37 said.

Not appropriate? You're nuts.