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As a nanny, I love when parents actually write their own ads, and let some of their personality shine through. The rote ads are BS. If I see one more ad for newborn care asking that the nanny "loves to do arts and crafts, because we do too!" I may scream.

So, if parents have the time and inclination to write good ads, those ads will get noticed. The issue is that everyone in the universe will apply to whatever job is posted, whether they have the skill set you need or not.

I advise parents to screen by requesting applicants include answers to 3 simple questions in their response. Anyone who can't read/follow directions is then eliminated first. Then you screen for experience with your age group(s) of kid(s) and ability to write a decent response without text speak or smilies. THEN, you screen for location, especially if you are in a difficult city for traffic.

At that point, you should have a manageable number of candidates, so you might want to put a hold on your ad as you move through the next steps.

Then, respond to your (much smaller than it was originally) candidate pool with 3 more specific questions about the job you are offering. Repeat the screening process above, and then take the few remaining applicants and start phone screening. Move on to in-person meetings outside your home, **** then if anyone seems like a good bet, have them meet your kid(s) at your home.

****(If at this point no one is giving you a good feeling, you can re-boot your ad and start the process over.)

At this point, you have hopefully narrowed the field to 2 - 3 people, and have gotten started on background checks. Next, you can have them do trial days so that you can call references, make your final decision and make an offer.

It's a whole lot of work, but if you want to save agency fees, it can be possible to find a good nanny on care or other sites.
Anonymous wrote:
nannydebsays wrote:so OP, you want your employee to be just that. An employee who comes in, does her job, and leaves. That means you need a LIVE-OUT caregiver.

You cannot rationally expect that you can open the door to the 250 sq ft bedroom she uses at her start time and then that you can put her back in her room when her work day is over. Her room might be 15' x 17' - would you go stir crazy if you were told to stay in that size space when you are "home" and not working?


Not the OP, but I do have to stay in a space like that when I am "home" but not working taking care of children. Every adult in the house does.

Have you ever lived with small children?


Sorry, I have no clue what you are talking about. Is your home just 15' x 17'? Or do you live "with" multiple adults, each of whom is confined to a single room when they are not working? Because that sounds like prison...
Anonymous wrote:
nannydebsays wrote:so OP, you want your employee to be just that. An employee who comes in, does her job, and leaves. That means you need a LIVE-OUT caregiver.

You cannot rationally expect that you can open the door to the 250 sq ft bedroom she uses at her start time and then that you can put her back in her room when her work day is over. Her room might be 15' x 17' - would you go stir crazy if you were told to stay in that size space when you are "home" and not working?


I never said i wanted her locked in her room. She has an entire house. She is welcomed to sit with us but if she does then she is expected to act like I or my husband would or even my teenager. Responsible and aware of what is going on around her. So if my kids went into her room and hung out while she is in there, would that be ok to you guys? I really don't think so. Anyway it looks like I am wasting my time wih most of you here. Some that did respond were very helpful and I thank you, but some of you just talk out of your butts without thinking things through or reading properly.


Well, if you want her to be pitching in like an adult family member at any time she is around one of your kids, that should have been settled before she was hired. Now you have to try to re-work whatever agreement you have. Good luck with that.
so OP, you want your employee to be just that. An employee who comes in, does her job, and leaves. That means you need a LIVE-OUT caregiver.

You cannot rationally expect that you can open the door to the 250 sq ft bedroom she uses at her start time and then that you can put her back in her room when her work day is over. Her room might be 15' x 17' - would you go stir crazy if you were told to stay in that size space when you are "home" and not working?
If the nanny's car isn't safe, and you are not willing/able to provide her with one of your (presumably safer) cars to use while she is working, you have very few choices:

1) Tell her you will pay to have her car inspected and have any and all issues it currently has repaired. Then either continue to pay maintenance costs (likely cheaper than buying a car), or make sure she gets federal mileage reimbursement that she can use for repairs as needed.

2) Let her go, and attempt to hire a nanny whose vehicle you deem safe.
OP and others, this link might be helpful:

http://m.aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract
Is the mom following the feeding schedule also? Because that is the issue more than any other part of "babywise". If mom is following Pediatrician's feeding instructions wrt amount and timing, you are unlikely to wind up with a Failure-To-Thrive baby.

That said, there is also a growth spurt around 6 weeks, and that might be increasing her appetite. If feeding needs are not met, baby can't sleep well.

That said, is it possible you are missing early "sleepy cues" and are actually putting her down to nap when she is overtired? Maybe try putting her down after just 55 minutes to see if that helps.
Anonymous wrote:In a nanny share and wanting to transition toddler from two naps to one, but our nanny is resisting moving her morning nap later because that puts her out of sync with the other toddler's nap schedule and she won't have any break time. What do others do when they have two kids that don't have the same nap times? What are the reasonable expectations in terms of break time for the nanny? She's had 3-4 hours where they are both napping for months and I can understand why she wouldn't want them out of sync, but I'm grappling with how reasonable it is to try to artificially keep them napping at the same time.


OP, is your child screaming/crying/fussing during one of her naps? Does that happen every single day? If so, then she may be ready to transition. How old is your DD? How long do each of her naps last? When does she go to bed at night?

How about the other child? Does s/he still fall asleep easily for 2 naps?

What are your nanny's hours? Is she working a typical 11+ hour day? If so, I can completely understand her need (not want, but actual NEED) to have the naps synced. Otherwise, if she is a normal human, but the end of the day she will be exhausted and unable to provide the care she wants to provide her charges.

If I had 2 kids that didn't have at least one synced nap, I would work very hard to make that happen. Being constantly "on" when caring for kids is exhausting. OP, would you be willing to go non-stop caring for 2 toddlers for as long as you want to require your nanny to do so?

And long amounts of break time are generally standard when kids are under 3 or so, and the younger the kids, the longer the amount of down time. In a share, especially when the share is always at one house, that either means the host family gets to pay a little more and have nanny do kid related chores, or that both families pay the same, and nanny doesn't do laundry. In a single family nanny-care set-up, nanny will generally spend some time during nap doing kid related chores.

If I were your nanny, and your child was truly ready for 1 nap only, I would also ask the other family to let me start "training" their child to go to one nap. I would work for about 2 - 3 weeks re-setting both kids schedules, until your child was napping 1 - 4, and the other child was napping 9 - 10 and 2 - 4.

Good luck!
SO you were letting nanny go anyway in favor of having an AP?

If so, be glad that you now know what a jerk your former nanny is, and that you have other care arriving soon. Be factual in reference giving, as a PP above suggested, and let nanny know you need your belongings back asap.Once you have your car seat/keys/etc, give her the last 2 days of pay she earned and say good bye.
People literally do everything from dropping the nanny's rate by 50% to keeping her rate the same.

Some employers argue nanny+ baby = "nanny share".

Some employers decide that keeping a nanny they love/not having to find a new nanny is well worth just continuing to pay the current hourly rate.

IMO, the most important discussion is how will she balance your kids needs with the needs of her child? Is she willing to work baby's schedule around kid activities? Is she OK with baby napping on the go at times? How does she hope to manage making room for baby in your home?

Open discussion is what makes this sort of thing work, OP. Good luck!
2.5 hours, $25 seems reasonable to me, especially if nanny is doing pick-up of the preschooler.

How will days when there is no school be handled? Will nanny get paid to care for preschooler, or will there be other arrangements made?
For a nanny that has the funds and the time, INA is a terrific option. They have a large budget for speakers, and the conference is usually very beneficial.

For nannies with limited time and funds, a local NNTD event is the way to go. As a volunteer organizer, I can tell you I try to line up terrific speakers, but we are working with NO budget unless local agencies sponsor the day, and even then, our budget is limited.

Some great speakers want $200+ for 3 hours of their time (including travel), and since the purpose of NNTD is AFFORDABLE nanny education, trying to keep ticket prices low is our goal. So we have to make hard choices - Pay $200 for a speaker who will talk for an hour, and charge more than $50 per ticket, or find low/no cost speakers and charge less than $35 per ticket.

The numbers just don't work. 5 - 8 speakers at $200+ each, plus space rental, plus supplies, plus food...we'd be looking at $2500 out of pocket costs, and hoping we sell 50 $50 tickets just to break even. Not many organizer nannies are willing to front that kind of money and possibly lose it. So we find lower cost speakers, and provide the best training we can afford at less than $35/ticket for 30+ nannies.

OP, i don't know how long this nanny has been working for you, but if she is relatively new, your little one is likely saving his strong emotional reactions for you, since he knows intuitively that you will support him through his upset.

Often, a new(er) nanny doesn't get the gift of kids melting down completely because they are not trusted adults yet. Kids know who is an emotional safe haven, and eventually nanny will likely join those ranks, but for now his parents are the safest adults your child has.

Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with nanny, just means kids know who they can trust 1000% of the time.
Anonymous wrote:... What do you do for child care?

DH and I are both expected to work from home or take PTO on snow days. For me, even if I say "I take PTO", emails could be flying every minute, many from my boss and my peers (all men without child care issues), and I feel like I'm always at disadvantage compared to them, and that people have to wait for me (oh, yes, Betsy has little kids! Yeah, I remember her being pregnant. Let me just remind this to the other 20 people on this call that had no trouble finding the time to work today. I guess we just can't accomplish anything because Betsy is not here... One more time,people, she does have little kids).. If I ask the nanny to come in (I can even drive her in my car), she'll be all upset that she had to work and shows her attitude... So if there is too much snow we give her a paid day off... We normally kind of winging it with me getting up like at 5 am, doing work until kids get up, and taking half a day of PTO, and then DH takes the opposite half (and hopefully clears the driveway while at it). Still, I can't pay attention to kids enough due to phone calls/email. Basically, it is becoming total chaos, with neither work getting done nor kids being happy. And by the way, the work ain't going away just because it snowed, and deadlines don't move.

I have asked around, but none of the neighbors are interested in babysitting... Tomorrow will be a similar day.

So, I'm curious, how do other people solve similar problems?


I have to say, if your nanny gives you grief because you come and get her so she can work when it snows, you may need to investigate other options for care. I always offer to work as long as my bosses pick me up - I can't drive in snow and my car can't handle it in any case. With sufficient notice, I would be willing to stay overnight if a storm was expected.
Anonymous wrote:If you need 5 day per week 75% of the year, I think you're better off paying $18 an hour and guaranteeing 40 hours a week vs paying a higher rate for only 4 days, but wanting nanny to reserve that day.

$18 an hour X 40 hrs per week X 52 weeks= $37,440
vs.
$20 an hour X 32 hrs per week X 52 weeks= $33,260
PLUS
39 (one day, 75% of weeks)X 8 hrs per day X $20 per hour=$6,240

A lower rate with an unspecified but likely frequent number of PTO is likely more appealing and also may be cheaper


I also think this would work well, especially since it sounds as if you would need nanny most weeks to work 5 days. Personally, I would prefer to be ready to work 5 8 hour days a week and get a "surprise" day off, rather than being prepared to work 4 8 hour days and 75% of the time "lose" the extra day off. One thing I would want is a predictable start/end time. IDK if you were thinking you wanted flexible timing each day, but that would be a turn-off for me to have to work MTuF 9 - 5, WTh 7 - 3, then the next week work completely different hours.

As long as you are clear that days off will be last minute, and may only happen at XYZ times of year, and as long as you outline an OT rate in case nanny goes over 40 hours, I think you'll find a good number of candidates. Good luck!
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