Anonymous wrote:In a nanny share and wanting to transition toddler from two naps to one, but our nanny is resisting moving her morning nap later because that puts her out of sync with the other toddler's nap schedule and she won't have any break time. What do others do when they have two kids that don't have the same nap times? What are the reasonable expectations in terms of break time for the nanny? She's had 3-4 hours where they are both napping for months and I can understand why she wouldn't want them out of sync, but I'm grappling with how reasonable it is to try to artificially keep them napping at the same time.
OP, is your child screaming/crying/fussing during one of her naps? Does that happen every single day? If so, then she may be ready to transition. How old is your DD? How long do each of her naps last? When does she go to bed at night?
How about the other child? Does s/he still fall asleep easily for 2 naps?
What are your nanny's hours? Is she working a typical 11+ hour day? If so, I can completely understand her need (not want, but actual NEED) to have the naps synced. Otherwise, if she is a normal human, but the end of the day she will be exhausted and unable to provide the care she wants to provide her charges.
If I had 2 kids that didn't have at least one synced nap, I would work very hard to make that happen. Being constantly "on" when caring for kids is exhausting. OP, would you be willing to go non-stop caring for 2 toddlers for as long as you want to require your nanny to do so?
And long amounts of break time are generally standard when kids are under 3 or so, and the younger the kids, the longer the amount of down time. In a share, especially when the share is always at one house, that either means the host family gets to pay a little more and have nanny do kid related chores, or that both families pay the same, and nanny doesn't do laundry. In a single family nanny-care set-up, nanny will generally spend some time during nap doing kid related chores.
If I were your nanny, and your child was truly ready for 1 nap only, I would also ask the other family to let me start "training" their child to go to one nap. I would work for about 2 - 3 weeks re-setting both kids schedules, until your child was napping 1 - 4, and the other child was napping 9 - 10 and 2 - 4.
Good luck!