Survey: rejection
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Anonymous
If you feel ashamed that is a personal problem. I'm just answering the question and yes, I absolutely feel any worker in Thr United States should make minimum wage at the least. I actually practice what I preach and live my liberal ideals. You are well within your rights to follow the minimum standard. Most people do. Dont get so worked up over how I conduct my personal affairs. |
Anonymous
Actually, the question was about reasons that families were being rejected, so you weren't answering the question. And then you were asked a follow up question about how much you ended up paying weekly. No one asked you to make this your personal soap box. |
Anonymous
| Agreed. Self-righteous poster hijacked this post to reveal her privilege, nothing more. |
Anonymous
Sorry activated your concious and destabilized you. Hopefully your night goes better. 
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Anonymous
If you have two kids going, and one family has one, you should be driving more. But, I refuse to carpool because everyone's driving standards are different, car seat use and I want the flexibility to do stuff before and after without having to pay for your kid all the time. |
Anonymous
Minimum wage is a bit different when they get room, board and health care. Its not as if they have full expenses that they should get paid as for someone paying rent and food. However, a bonus here or there or something more given the pay, especially with multiple kids is a good idea. |
Anonymous
Yeah well I offer everything you do and more and still struggled like hell to match with Northern Europeans. The only thing I can think of is our race. Guess you’re lucky to be white. |
Anonymous
Its not personal but not all countries are diverse so people aren't familiar with what kind of home they are going into. Would you feel ok being in a home with the exact opposite culture and not sure if the family will respect your culture, food (we've seen posts on how au pair has to eat the family dinner cooked), etc. We have family in another country who came here the first time and they were scared by the diversity - it was just the unknown. You do not know the race of other posters. Maybe it is your home, family set up, number of kids, car, a random comment in your profile, your personality, etc. (not saying any are wrong just not their comfort) |
Anonymous
I rejected one family because they were... odd. AP didn't live with them but in a different apartment in the same building. Their previous AP had run off (for an undisclosed reason) one Sunday afternoon, leaving them a note on the kitchen table. They had gone through four APs in two years. The schedule was erratic (there really was not, it was "you will be on call from x to y" with x to y being a lot more than 10 hrs). The questions they asked were more than strange. They didn't tell me a single thing about their family, all I knew was that they had two boys (2 and 4) who must have been disbehaving 24/7 because all questions they asked were about how I'd discipline their children (children I didn't know yet and thus had no idea how to handle best). When they talked to my mother they asked her if I had plans to travel because the program was not for traveling and sight seeing but for work. After a five minute conversation with them my mom told me to run. I rejected another family because they took their adopted toddler daughter to little miss pageants. AP was supposed to coach toddler daughter for said pageants and of course be there for support. Ever single weekend. One of the girls I met at orientation matched with them. She didn't last two months. In the end I matched with a family with four children (1-13) in the Midwest, 45 hr work weeks. Best decision ever. Plenty of time for traveling and sight seeing. Still love them to bits. Would have loved to extend (wasn't possible back then) as my HM had another baby two weeks before the end of my year. We get rejected because of living arrangements (AP has her own room but we share one bathroom as a family), disability (DH, not one of the kids, no impact on AP whatsoever), location, no car (not that it's needed - DH and I rarely use the car, we don't drive more than 3,000 miles a year) and I guess split schedule which runs late-ish (we used to schedule AP as an extra set of hand for dinner when the kids were little, working until 7/7.30 pm). |
Anonymous
I already said I offer the same or better home set up, number of kids, car. |
Anonymous
You didn’t activate anything except disgust at your smugness and exceptional privilege. Hope it continues to work flawlessly for you, as you are “in the driver’s seat”, and rubbing it in on a thread addressing rejection. |
Anonymous
This is a bizarrely racist post. You seem to be justifying or rationalizing au pairs’ decisions to exclude non white families from consideration based on a strange and unfounded belief that they would click more with white families because non white families are somehow more foreign when we are talking about all families living in the US. You should do some serious introspection about your beliefs. It’s also extremely naive to think that race and religion on their face (we are talking about being rejected before even speaking to the AP) aren’t factoring in to many especially Northern Europeans’ au pairs’ decisions to reject families outright. We observe a minority religion, and we do not impose our religion on anyone - it simply doesn’t affect their life in any way- and I am certain we offer an easier schedule and better perks than most families and yet for example no German au pair has ever even agreed to speak with us, let alone match. |
Anonymous
+100, the AP program is not for those scared of diversity, especially if they want to come to the U.S. also assuming that minority family culture and food are so different from while when most have been living in this country for multiple generations is racist. Lastly people can use I am scared of the unknown to be racist. So yeah PP shouldn’t try to justify this bullshit that probably don’t affect her! |
Anonymous
| * White |
Anonymous
Your family was scared of diversity???? oh, the hardship!!!! Of course I am being sarcastic. You are ridiculous and sad. |