Survey: rejection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WHY do some people have SO many kids? And then expect someone to jump at the chance to take of them at a minimal wage??

I get paid to reproduce. Very lucrative career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO, 3 or 4 kids is a LOT of kids. Just look at the moms who don't want to take care of their own kids! Who wants to be stuck with that all day long? Not the parents!

Its very hard to take care of 3-4 kids of different ages and interests. Either kids don't get activities or attention or are dragged around sitting on a tablet waiting for the other kids to be done and usually the youngest don't get activities in less its the same as the older ones.

Mom of 4 here. That’s not the case in our family! The older two are 7th and 5th grade. They just need rides to places when they’re not carpooling. They do their own laundry and generally take care of themselves. They do need to be fed, but if you’re already making a meal it’s not much extra effort. Both of them are gone most of the day and evening due to school and activities.

Younger two have never had a tablet sitting in front of them at someone else’s activities. They have their own things to do and are in activities different from their siblings. We make it work because we have two parents involved and engaged, a great network of friends we carpool with (trade off - everyone takes turns), and an au pair thrown in as well.

I would MUCH prefer a job with four school aged kids than with two toddlers!

4 kids is still a lot and a 5th grader still needs support. If you have an au pair and do things like carpool (i.e. dump your kids off on someone else), you aren't that active as parents as you think. I get so tired of parents of multiple kids dumping theirs on me for "carpools" when its really me driving most of the time and them doing every so often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO, 3 or 4 kids is a LOT of kids. Just look at the moms who don't want to take care of their own kids! Who wants to be stuck with that all day long? Not the parents!

Its very hard to take care of 3-4 kids of different ages and interests. Either kids don't get activities or attention or are dragged around sitting on a tablet waiting for the other kids to be done and usually the youngest don't get activities in less its the same as the older ones.

Not my experience, but ymmv. I specifically seek out and suggest classes that have decent areas for waiting, no tablets necessary if my charges can read, play card games, draw or do homework (older), or listen to books, color, play a board game or “write notes.” I also look for places that understand siblings, so there are various ages in the classes, or simultaneous/overlapping schedules. If I can figure out a way to schedule 5-7 kids, someone else can figure out 3-4 (I’ve done that too).

Exactly, the other kids are sitting around, regardless of what you do with them.....they aren't in their own stuff, they are sitting or running around wild waiting for the siblings.

[Anonymous]

Activities can include kids 3-4 years apart, not a single age. So, if 2 of the 3-4 kids can do the same activity, then parents plus AP can easily divide and conquer up to 3 separate activities. Not sure why you think worst case scenario with all kids dumped off on the AP and only 1 in a class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Activities can include kids 3-4 years apart, not a single age. So, if 2 of the 3-4 kids can do the same activity, then parents plus AP can easily divide and conquer up to 3 separate activities. Not sure why you think worst case scenario with all kids dumped off on the AP and only 1 in a class.

Sometimes but I know what I see when we go to activities. Even with age spans, it often doesn't mix if there are 4 kids so at least 2 are hanging out. Most are running around, screaming or being annoying with the parents or caregiver ignoring them. The worst are the sick ones who should be at home.

[Anonymous]

We have an infant and use 45 hours of care weekly. We offer an English basement apartment and dedicated car. We definitely use the separate apartment and dedicated car as "incentives" because we are not wealthy (e.g., no trips to Turks and Caicos and sundry) and use the maximum of care allowed. Consequently, everyone that we wanted to interview agreed to an interview. Nobody rejected us outright. You can call it a bribe, but it's as much of a bribe as saying you summer in Maine or give them 5 weeks of vacation with a bonus fund. We're doing the maximum we can to get a target language speaker to come and hang out with our kid all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO, 3 or 4 kids is a LOT of kids. Just look at the moms who don't want to take care of their own kids! Who wants to be stuck with that all day long? Not the parents!

Its very hard to take care of 3-4 kids of different ages and interests. Either kids don't get activities or attention or are dragged around sitting on a tablet waiting for the other kids to be done and usually the youngest don't get activities in less its the same as the older ones.

Mom of 4 here. That’s not the case in our family! The older two are 7th and 5th grade. They just need rides to places when they’re not carpooling. They do their own laundry and generally take care of themselves. They do need to be fed, but if you’re already making a meal it’s not much extra effort. Both of them are gone most of the day and evening due to school and activities.

Younger two have never had a tablet sitting in front of them at someone else’s activities. They have their own things to do and are in activities different from their siblings. We make it work because we have two parents involved and engaged, a great network of friends we carpool with (trade off - everyone takes turns), and an au pair thrown in as well.

I would MUCH prefer a job with four school aged kids than with two toddlers!

4 kids is still a lot and a 5th grader still needs support. If you have an au pair and do things like carpool (i.e. dump your kids off on someone else), you aren't that active as parents as you think. I get so tired of parents of multiple kids dumping theirs on me for "carpools" when its really me driving most of the time and them doing every so often.

Interesting. I do the morning drop off for my charges and the neighbor, but I get to wait at home instead of in the afternoon pick up line. That’s the way carpool should work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO, 3 or 4 kids is a LOT of kids. Just look at the moms who don't want to take care of their own kids! Who wants to be stuck with that all day long? Not the parents!

Its very hard to take care of 3-4 kids of different ages and interests. Either kids don't get activities or attention or are dragged around sitting on a tablet waiting for the other kids to be done and usually the youngest don't get activities in less its the same as the older ones.

Not my experience, but ymmv. I specifically seek out and suggest classes that have decent areas for waiting, no tablets necessary if my charges can read, play card games, draw or do homework (older), or listen to books, color, play a board game or “write notes.” I also look for places that understand siblings, so there are various ages in the classes, or simultaneous/overlapping schedules. If I can figure out a way to schedule 5-7 kids, someone else can figure out 3-4 (I’ve done that too).

Exactly, the other kids are sitting around, regardless of what you do with them.....they aren't in their own stuff, they are sitting or running around wild waiting for the siblings.

Mhm? No, they’re waiting for their turn. Class 1 is 5-7yo 3.30-4.15, class 2 is 11-12 3.45-5, class 3 is 8-10 4.15-5.15, class 4 is 2-4 5-5.30. So, everybody has a movement class geared to the appropriate age, they all overlap, and everyone has a backpack with several things to do.

Tkd works too. 4-7 in ninjas at the same time, hopefully overlapping with older class (8-adult).

My charges are from big families. They learn to help each other and cooperate, not scream and run around like hooligans...

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no issues matching with our preferred Northern Europeans. I actually feel like we are in the drivers seat. We have APs chasing us around after interviews. Here is our profile:

2 school aged kids
Treat stipend as a minimum and pay fed minimum wage if over 27.5hrs
Dedicated car
Live in Ashburn
Fed holidays off
3 weeks in summer off
1 week Christmas off
Spring break off
Basement suite
Smartphone
Membership at lifetime fitness.


I realize our package is desirable and outside the norm. However, I want a great AP who values her job and wants to keep it. I want my pick of AuPairs and dont want to settle. I don't want drama. I want a very solid driver. We so far have had great luck and have truly had girls who value their jobs. They all know exactly how other APs are treated to the bare minimum and know via social media that our gig is a good one.

[Anonymous]

^^oh and I will add we do NOT take them on vacation. I'm upfront with that. Vacations are time to be together as a family only. Our APs have been fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no issues matching with our preferred Northern Europeans. I actually feel like we are in the drivers seat. We have APs chasing us around after interviews. Here is our profile:

2 school aged kids
Treat stipend as a minimum and pay fed minimum wage if over 27.5hrs
Dedicated car
Live in Ashburn
Fed holidays off
3 weeks in summer off
1 week Christmas off
Spring break off
Basement suite
Smartphone
Membership at lifetime fitness.


I realize our package is desirable and outside the norm. However, I want a great AP who values her job and wants to keep it. I want my pick of AuPairs and dont want to settle. I don't want drama. I want a very solid driver. We so far have had great luck and have truly had girls who value their jobs. They all know exactly how other APs are treated to the bare minimum and know via social media that our gig is a good one.

Curious how much you end up paying weekly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO, 3 or 4 kids is a LOT of kids. Just look at the moms who don't want to take care of their own kids! Who wants to be stuck with that all day long? Not the parents!

Its very hard to take care of 3-4 kids of different ages and interests. Either kids don't get activities or attention or are dragged around sitting on a tablet waiting for the other kids to be done and usually the youngest don't get activities in less its the same as the older ones.

Mom of 4 here. That’s not the case in our family! The older two are 7th and 5th grade. They just need rides to places when they’re not carpooling. They do their own laundry and generally take care of themselves. They do need to be fed, but if you’re already making a meal it’s not much extra effort. Both of them are gone most of the day and evening due to school and activities.

Younger two have never had a tablet sitting in front of them at someone else’s activities. They have their own things to do and are in activities different from their siblings. We make it work because we have two parents involved and engaged, a great network of friends we carpool with (trade off - everyone takes turns), and an au pair thrown in as well.

I would MUCH prefer a job with four school aged kids than with two toddlers!

4 kids is still a lot and a 5th grader still needs support. If you have an au pair and do things like carpool (i.e. dump your kids off on someone else), you aren't that active as parents as you think. I get so tired of parents of multiple kids dumping theirs on me for "carpools" when its really me driving most of the time and them doing every so often.

Carpooling mom of four here. There is no “dumping off” of our kids. There is trading off on driving, though! For example: three of us have boys in the exact same two activities on Tuesdays. We all live near one another. Rather than three parents driving three separate cars to pick up three separate kids, we TAKE TURNS so it’s just one parent driving all three kids. We do this with families that have anywhere from 1-3 kids. Yes, we even drive the “only child” as part of our carpool! If anything, we tend to do more of the driving because frankly we’ve gotten really good at figuring out how to manage complex schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no issues matching with our preferred Northern Europeans. I actually feel like we are in the drivers seat. We have APs chasing us around after interviews. Here is our profile:

2 school aged kids
Treat stipend as a minimum and pay fed minimum wage if over 27.5hrs
Dedicated car
Live in Ashburn
Fed holidays off
3 weeks in summer off
1 week Christmas off
Spring break off
Basement suite
Smartphone
Membership at lifetime fitness.


I realize our package is desirable and outside the norm. However, I want a great AP who values her job and wants to keep it. I want my pick of AuPairs and dont want to settle. I don't want drama. I want a very solid driver. We so far have had great luck and have truly had girls who value their jobs. They all know exactly how other APs are treated to the bare minimum and know via social media that our gig is a good one.

Curious how much you end up paying weekly?

Most weeks $200, as we usually only use 25hrs. At the very highest 40hrs @ $290 in the summer when we do not have a camp scheduled. It is not exactly a hardship, but goes a far way in goodwill and I also would not feel OK paying someone under minimum wage in ANY situation. Even with our benefits package, this is still very cheap childcare for in home care. I can't even find a sitter for under $20/hr when we are between AuPairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no issues matching with our preferred Northern Europeans. I actually feel like we are in the drivers seat. We have APs chasing us around after interviews. Here is our profile:

2 school aged kids
Treat stipend as a minimum and pay fed minimum wage if over 27.5hrs
Dedicated car
Live in Ashburn
Fed holidays off
3 weeks in summer off
1 week Christmas off
Spring break off
Basement suite
Smartphone
Membership at lifetime fitness.


I realize our package is desirable and outside the norm. However, I want a great AP who values her job and wants to keep it. I want my pick of AuPairs and dont want to settle. I don't want drama. I want a very solid driver. We so far have had great luck and have truly had girls who value their jobs. They all know exactly how other APs are treated to the bare minimum and know via social media that our gig is a good one.

Curious how much you end up paying weekly?

Most weeks $200, as we usually only use 25hrs. At the very highest 40hrs @ $290 in the summer when we do not have a camp scheduled. It is not exactly a hardship, but goes a far way in goodwill and I also would not feel OK paying someone under minimum wage in ANY situation. Even with our benefits package, this is still very cheap childcare for in home care. I can't even find a sitter for under $20/hr when we are between AuPairs.

What is your point in making this post (especially the last part)? Are you trying to shame other host parents who follow the rules but don't offer extra? Do you want praise? SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no issues matching with our preferred Northern Europeans. I actually feel like we are in the drivers seat. We have APs chasing us around after interviews. Here is our profile:

2 school aged kids
Treat stipend as a minimum and pay fed minimum wage if over 27.5hrs
Dedicated car
Live in Ashburn
Fed holidays off
3 weeks in summer off
1 week Christmas off
Spring break off
Basement suite
Smartphone
Membership at lifetime fitness.


I realize our package is desirable and outside the norm. However, I want a great AP who values her job and wants to keep it. I want my pick of AuPairs and dont want to settle. I don't want drama. I want a very solid driver. We so far have had great luck and have truly had girls who value their jobs. They all know exactly how other APs are treated to the bare minimum and know via social media that our gig is a good one.

Curious how much you end up paying weekly?

Most weeks $200, as we usually only use 25hrs. At the very highest 40hrs @ $290 in the summer when we do not have a camp scheduled. It is not exactly a hardship, but goes a far way in goodwill and I also would not feel OK paying someone under minimum wage in ANY situation. Even with our benefits package, this is still very cheap childcare for in home care. I can't even find a sitter for under $20/hr when we are between AuPairs.

What is your point in making this post (especially the last part)? Are you trying to shame other host parents who follow the rules but don't offer extra? Do you want praise? SMH.

Furthermore, the AP stipend was established with minimum wage in mind LESS an amount for room and board. The occasional babysitters don't get that or any of the other benefits that an AP gets. The program is not set up to exploit them. Other HFs should not be guilted into matching whatever.