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[Anonymous]

Sad, the non HM or AP reader has also hijacked this thread. I am moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a fed, and we absolutely could not claim the travel time unless we were working during the commute (e.g., on plane or train) out of state/country. So, perhaps it varies by agency, but again, most professionals cannot claim travel time as work hours (professors, lawyers, doctors, etc.). It would not make sense to use a nine hour plane ride where the AP sleeps for 7.5 hours and watches a movie for 1.5 hours. If she were working she wouldn't be sleeping or watching a movie with her headphones on.

AP is not a “professional” in any way. While they get a stipend, it’s also not salary, and requirements for hire are more comparable to hourly workers. Hourly workers ARE paid for travel.

My BIL has a security clearance, military-provided training and makes 100-400k depending on how much overtime he chooses to work, but is considered blue collar and has an hourly pay rate due to the type of work. Commute time to the main office is never too paid, but he hardly goes there. He has his work truck and tools at home with him, calls the office in the morning for the day’s assignment and drives to the site, or he grabs his bag to go to the airport. From the moment he starts driving until he gets to the site, he gets paid. Most of his assignments are domestic and close enough to drive (under 5 hours), but he does fly both domestically and internationally. Those trips are usually 10+ days. Travel, food and travel time are paid, work hours are paid, and he has an extra amount he’s paid for every overnight.

Maybe you need a different career?

Np - maybe you need to realize that your bill’s situation is highly unusual?

That's normal. Not sure what world you live in that you don't feel you should pay someone for their time. There is a difference between a commute and travel.

It's not normal, actually. Travel time is not compensated by law firms, universities, nonprofits, or many private companies, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

It depends on your contract. Driving a commute, not but outside normal, yes, especially hourly. Salary is a bit different and it depends the culture. My spouse can flex days with travel time. Not everyone works at universities or nonprofits. You have a very narrow view of the world.

AP is working and helping with the kids during travel. She isn't taking her own car.

Wrong again. But of course, you are talking about a negotiated benefit, presumably for hourly employees. APs are not hourly employees, and if the travel was disclosed in matching and they agreed to it - there is no real issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

I am in my mid 20's and have lived abroad for years and traveled the world, I know how to entertain myself and I value traveling. I didn't expect to have a proper hawaii holiday when with the host family it was a WORK trip and tha'ts my point, it's work, it's not a holiday. You have no idea where in Hawaii I was but if it's of interest to you I was in the middle of nowhere, I wasn't by the beach or anywhere touristy, I was 30 minutes drive from the nearest beach and there was no sidewalk or street light that allowed to walk safely on the roads (definitely not with a baby anyway). There was one local restaurant and one souvenir shop at a semi walking distance and that's it. Nothing else to do or see but fields. Like I said, I still appreciated the opportunity to go but I would have HATED it to be a place I would have had to be at twice a month during my FREE time.

It's awesome you let your Au Pair come up with activities and drive her to those places, it wasn't the case with my host family, them giving me rides or using their rental car wasn't an option.

It's nice to have free time but what's almost the point of it if there is nothing you can do with it. I had nowhere to go or explore, nobody to talk to there wasn't even a TV or books in the airbnb to entertain myself with.

I used to live in the Carribean (amongst other countries), I know Island life and know how to entertain myself on an island, my point is that, even if you feel like your AP should be able to entertain herself because wherever you holiday is entertaining for you doesn't mean it's the case for your AP and I don't think it's fair to force an AP to give up on two of her weekends for FREE, to be bored out of her mind, just for a night of baby sitting.

My hf ideal holiday was being in the middle of nowhere staying in the Airbnb ALL DAY catching up on sleep and reading, it's lovely (especially when you have an AP to facilitate that) but it's NOT my idea of fun, it would have been super unreasonable of them to expect me to come with them to this super remote location twice a month to be bored out of my mind during my free time (again AP is giving up her free time to be in a place she obviously doesn't enjoy) just so they could use the 3 hours they had left for the week on a night of baby sitting and yes I would have resented it. Nothing to do with being entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Exactly my point. If I’m working I’m being PAID. PP above thinks travel time is free. Learn to read before you snark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Exactly my point. If I’m working I’m being PAID. PP above thinks travel time is free. Learn to read before you snark

I can read. I am pointing out that your example is not at all what the op is describing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

Did you even read the post? The point is it is not a vacation for the AP and its work. It absolutely is work. Where was this poster to go in a small town with no car in the middle of no where.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

Did you even read the post? The point is it is not a vacation for the AP and its work. It absolutely is work. Where was this poster to go in a small town with no car in the middle of no where.

In Hawaii, even rural Hawaii, there are buses. She could ask her HPs for a ride. She could lyft. She could exercise her mind by reading. She could exercise her body by walking, hiking, swimming, yoga, whatever. Presumably the parents also went places in Hawaii that AP tagged along to. But again, a work trip is not a personal vacation. I travel to real boring places all of the time: adulting is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

Did you even read the post? The point is it is not a vacation for the AP and its work. It absolutely is work. Where was this poster to go in a small town with no car in the middle of no where.

In Hawaii, even rural Hawaii, there are buses. She could ask her HPs for a ride. She could lyft. She could exercise her mind by reading. She could exercise her body by walking, hiking, swimming, yoga, whatever. Presumably the parents also went places in Hawaii that AP tagged along to. But again, a work trip is not a personal vacation. I travel to real boring places all of the time: adulting is hard.

I am the poster who went to Hawaii did you READ my post? There was zero buses, the nearest beach was 30 minutes drive, walking wasn’t safe because there was NO sidewalks nor street lights (though I did walk), there was no books nor TV in the Airbnb and asking my hf for rides was NOT an option. My hf was into remote holidays were they could disconnect from the world by staying in the middle of nowhere catching up on sleep and reading (they had their own kindles), stop PRESUMING and start reading, please.

My hf had a blast but I didn’t (I loved Hawai’i when I got to explore it during my actual holidays and do the things you mentioned ) and yes I would have been resentful if my hf expected me to do this type of remote weekend twice a month for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

Did you even read the post? The point is it is not a vacation for the AP and its work. It absolutely is work. Where was this poster to go in a small town with no car in the middle of no where.

In Hawaii, even rural Hawaii, there are buses. She could ask her HPs for a ride. She could lyft. She could exercise her mind by reading. She could exercise her body by walking, hiking, swimming, yoga, whatever. Presumably the parents also went places in Hawaii that AP tagged along to. But again, a work trip is not a personal vacation. I travel to real boring places all of the time: adulting is hard.

I am the poster who went to Hawaii did you READ my post? There was zero buses, the nearest beach was 30 minutes drive, walking wasn’t safe because there was NO sidewalks nor street lights (though I did walk), there was no books nor TV in the Airbnb and asking my hf for rides was NOT an option. My hf was into remote holidays were they could disconnect from the world by staying in the middle of nowhere catching up on sleep and reading (they had their own kindles), stop PRESUMING and start reading, please.

My hf had a blast but I didn’t (I loved Hawai’i when I got to explore it during my actual holidays and do the things you mentioned ) and yes I would have been resentful if my hf expected me to do this type of remote weekend twice a month for free.

Np - you’re comparing apples and oranges. The op is taking about a place presumably a reasonable drive (during which au pair isn’t expected to work) where there are activities and the au pair could participate in any variety of them. I’m sorry you had a crappy week of vacation once years ago, clearly you have a lot of deep-seated resentment about it.

[Anonymous]

''Np - you’re comparing apples and oranges. The op is taking about a place presumably a reasonable drive (during which au pair isn’t expected to work) where there are activities and the au pair could participate in any variety of them. I’m sorry you had a crappy week of vacation once years ago, clearly you have a lot of deep-seated resentment about it.''

I don't, like I said, it was fine for a week, I would have resented it had it been twice a month though.

I know the OP's house isn't exactly in the middle of nowhere but it's still somewhere where the activities available (skiing) are something the AP dislike.


I do think it's unreasonable to expect an AP to come twice a month to a place where there isn't much for her to do and using her 1 half day off there just so they can use 3 hours baby sitting.

It probably cost them more to have someone around who doesn't want to be there than actually pay someone for the 3 hours they effectively need care for.