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[Anonymous]

Plus... I thought it was too dangerous to walk anywhere because of the lack of sidewalks... yet here was no traffic because it was so isolated that it was boring... so how could it have been dangerous?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And, no, hourly employees do not generally get to bill time for travel. Mileage and per diem yes, but travelling out of state to work a convention? Absolutely cannot claim air or drive time as working hours. You would bankrupt universities and non-profits if this were true.

What? Are you kidding? I travel on the regular with my. Family and always bill for travel time. Sitting with a baby on flight to Tokyo while my mb sleep is work and I’m paid for that.

You’re a nanny. And you are taking care of the child. Not sitting there watching your own movie and doing whatever else you want.

Plenty of APs do that too though. I am an AP and have definitely had the lion's share of the care of the kids during flight time. I can actively remember a trip to Hawaii (5 hours) where the baby didn't want to settle and I spent the entirety of the flight walking up and down the aisle, the parents only holding the baby at landing and take off. Most hf don't seem to count flight times as work hours though, so despite doing 5 hours with no break on the flight I still had to do a full day whilst there because of course so much need to be done on the first day, I am one of the AP who appreciate the gesture of being invited on a trip but often dislike the reality of it. More often than not trips are a massive grey area where no proper schedule is set so AP is always semi on call, where you can't go late at night at the risk of waking people in the hotel room up, where you are stuck somewhere with gorgeous landscapes that you often can't really explore (no access to a car, stuck in an all inclusive hotel by the beach but far away from any local cultural experience etc...), I also find host parents to be way more lax (not in the best way) about the schedule because somehow they feel like they are doing a good deed for taking you along and know they can push the line a bit because saying anything would make the AP ungrateful.



I was very appreciative of my hf taking me with them to hawaii but I was also stuck in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere with only 1 restaurants and 3 shops and nothing to do without a car (and I didn't have car) and I was bored out of my mind, (I had my real hawaii holiday when I took a week off to explore and had full freedom to do so) I was appreciative of the experience but if my hf had wanted to make this a bi-monthly thing I would have really resented it. It wouldn't have mattered that I had Saturday day off or Sunday day off and to do as I please when there was NOTHING for me to do in the area.

It sounds like you probably were not mature enough to entertain yourself at that age - if you could not entertain yourself or manage to find joy and enjoyment in Hawaii of all places. Yikes. Vacations are a gray areas for APs, too, ours do not wake up early on a schedule unless there is a planned activity, have no trouble planning and organizing activities, and communicating as adult women (e.g., our AP asked if she could book a surfing lesson at a specific time, we dropped her off and picked her up, booked herself a massage on the beach (we dropped her off and picked her up), and looked up free yoga and hikes she wanted to try. We had a detailed discussion regarding hours before the vacation. We indicated she would not be left alone with DD throughout vacation, but would be expected when with us to assist when asked. We asked her to make a list of activities she wanted to do, and we would try to combine with our trip objectives. We do screen for older, mature APs, however. Plus, our agency recommends that APs pick one and HFs pick one in terms of vacation. We could have asked for her to use vacation time. I would have beg borrowed or stolen to have a working vacation in Hawaii (still would). The idea that an au pair expects a “real Hawaii holiday” on what is essentially a work vacation is pretty narcissistic. I would never tell my boss that a European work trip is my personal holiday.

Did you even read the post? The point is it is not a vacation for the AP and its work. It absolutely is work. Where was this poster to go in a small town with no car in the middle of no where.

In Hawaii, even rural Hawaii, there are buses. She could ask her HPs for a ride. She could lyft. She could exercise her mind by reading. She could exercise her body by walking, hiking, swimming, yoga, whatever. Presumably the parents also went places in Hawaii that AP tagged along to. But again, a work trip is not a personal vacation. I travel to real boring places all of the time: adulting is hard.

PP is referring to the OP... The AP who is being expected to waste entire weekends in the mountains, small town, only one car... All for a few hours Saturday night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus... I thought it was too dangerous to walk anywhere because of the lack of sidewalks... yet here was no traffic because it was so isolated that it was boring... so how could it have been dangerous?

I am not German (not that it matters but another one of your 100% assertive assumptions I suppose).

I said it was too dangerous to walk with a baby, because while there is no heavy traffic there are still cars coming every now and again (nothing about being aghast at the lack of sidewalks) and I wouldn’t risk it. Even if I did risk it, it would be a bit pointless when there is effectively nowhere to walk to, the nearest beach being a 3 hours walk and the Main Street of the village 1h20 (I did walk to it on my free time, not that you get much enjoyment of walking to the same souvenir shop and eating place all the time and needing 3 hours round trip for it).


Anyhow I made my point for the OP (!), that while AP should be expected to be flexible and put up with going to somewhere that is boring/not to their liking every now and then, I think it would be unfair to ask her to go to someone they know she doesn’t enjoy TWICE a month for the 3 hours they only need her to work for and forcing her to spend two of her weekends off doing nothing/stuff she doesn’t want to do. I think flexibility works both ways and benefits everyone.

[Anonymous]

Somewhere not someone *

[Anonymous]

Chiki g to support the person who said Hawaii was boring. I will see you and match that!! I was stuck in rural Australia for 6 weeks and didn’t leave the property once because there was NOTHING within walking distance. No a/c, 100 degrees daily. It was absolute hell.

[Anonymous]

*chiming in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chiki g to support the person who said Hawaii was boring. I will see you and match that!! I was stuck in rural Australia for 6 weeks and didn’t leave the property once because there was NOTHING within walking distance. No a/c, 100 degrees daily. It was absolute hell.

"Hawaii AP" here, your post made me laugh (thank you for the support!) but are you SURE that's true? Surely there must have been a beach walking distance? And No AC in a property, that can't be true! Plus how come you couldn't entertain yourself with the kangaroos and koalas that must have definitely lived in your back garden (anything else and you would be lying, we all know every single place in Australia has kangaroos!)

I used to live in Sydney and traveled extensively around Australia, the only way to renew my visa at the time was do a few months in rural Australia and as pretty as it could be, I just couldn't bring myself to it (even just for the creepy crawlies 10 times the size of your average one) so I don't blame you. Sorry you were stuck in the middle of nowhere, it can really suck (though I am sure most people will tell you are an entitled brat and would 100% have loved to be you.)

[Anonymous]

Maybe find a different au pair? Or at least talk with her about needing to do so. She’s not required to go with you but doesn’t seem to be fulfilling the duties you hoped she would?