What is wrong with new parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gotten hilarious! Are you seriously suggesting that doing any non-child related household tasks shortchanges the child? Do you really think it makes a difference to a baby whether you are washing his bottle or his mother's coffee mug? This has to be a troll post, right? A random developmental psych class in college is not a substitute for actual experience with children ...

What household tasks a nanny provides are really between her and her employers. This isn't a one size fits all and there is no "industry standard" here. Most kids nap for 1.5-3 hours a day (in multiple naps or one long one) and when they no longer do that, they are typically in preschool so most nannies have some down time in their day to help out. And IRL every nanny we interviewed volunteered the various household tasks she had previously performed so obviously not all nannies share the views of the nannies on this thread.

Better than using downtime though, our nanny does a number of non-child related things for us including loading and unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, and buying groceries, but I have noticed that she tends to do almost all her household tasks (child related or not) with DC in tow, making them into a fun and engaging game for him. When he was a baby, she'd sit him somewhere safe and talk to him the entire time, narrating what she was doing and holding things up for him to see. When he got old enough to "help" he'd do that too (even though helping sometimes meant sitting in the laundry basket handing armfuls of clothes to her) and now at 2.5, he always wants to rinse off plates after meals or help me unload the dishwasher or "fold" the laundry. We've never asked her to make our bed but I can only imagine that she's find some way of making that into a fun game for DC as well. I think it does make things go slower but it is teaching DC important skills for life as well as keeping him engaged, entertained, and out of trouble. I think the only thing our nanny does while he's napping is vacuum and it takes about ten minutes so she still has plenty of time for a nice long break. Everyone wins and we will do whatever we can to keep her for years!

FWIW - our nanny has repeatedly told us that she considers household tasks like vacuuming and grocery shopping to be "child related" because they benefit the entire family, including the kids, and because they enable us - after a long day of work - to give DC the thing kids really need the most to thrive developmentally - time with his parents.

Yes, I am absolutely asserting that a nanny forced to do housekeeping tasks shortchanges the child. Was that not clear the first three times I wrote it? However, I'm sure you know what is best for your children - hey, not every child grows up to be "college-material". I hear with global warming that the need for air conditioner repair people will be great. Why not look back on your child's most formative years and be proud of the fact that you never had to make your own bed or wash your own stained underpants?!

Did you go to college? Because clearly you have no idea what it takes to be "college-material." You've also clearly never read any child development books because then you would know the benefits to doing household chores while talking to your infant about what you are doing (just like PP said her nanny does). What about children with a SAHP who spends the day doing household chores with their children? Do you think none of those children go to college and go on to be successful?

If a parent posted that they hired someone (not a nanny) to do all those chores including the children's laundry, make beds, clear their rooms etc you'd be the first person to post that parents should be teaching their children those things, not outsourcing them, because the children will grow up entitled never knowing how to do anything for themselves. So it's ok for the parents to show children how to do laundry but not the nanny (who by the way WANTS to do those things). It's fine if, as a nanny, you don't want to do those things but don't pretend it's bad for the children if you do. You just don't want to.

Yes, Dear, I have a masters in Early Childhood Education. What about you? And as smart as my infant charges are, they don't learn anything from watching me do the lazy parent's laundry. Every single nanny posting and I have clearly written that they feel that the charge's laundry, cooking, cleaning and upkeep is the nanny's responsibility.

You really need to stop trying to justify having your nanny made your bed and do your laundry - I'm embarrassed for you.

I would be embarrassed to have a masters and work in someone's home based off of your post. What is the point of a masters. I would think you could not get a job and wonder about you. I care about a mx of education and experience with a mix of willing to learn. A degree may give you a background but it does not teach you to be a partner or caregiver.

When I vacuum, my son takes his and helps. He loves to help. It does not take that much to do a load of laundry and clean 20 minutes a day. You are just entitled and lazy.

20 minutes a day? I thought all nannies have hours and hours of internet surfing and TV time.
I have a Master degree as well. I am a nanny because I am good at it and it makes me happy...which is something you are so obviously lacking. Happy people don't say such hurtful, nasty things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom stayed home with my siblings and me until the youngest was around five. She did household work (both indoor and outdoor) for most of the day, but engaged with is while doing it. She had an almost half acre (or full acre?) organic garden, canned our food, made complicated meals, kept the house spotless, and, after my parents purchased a hardware store, brought us there with her while she worked part time. She most certainly did not get help from my dad with anything domestic, ever, and the expectation was that domestic tasks were conducted during the "workday".

Despite this tragic neglect at my mother's feet, I grew up to be an excellent student, great college, top law school, highly prestigious jobs, now working in what many would describe as a dream job. Oh, and I know how to take care of my home, make my own meals, and wash my own laundry.

Just imagine how differently my life would have turned out if only my mother had stuck to child-related tasks while caring for me. If only she'd done more reading on hold development, sanitized my toys a bit more often, and researched child friendly events or opportunities. Maybe I'd have been able to make something of myself.

Did your Mom have a home away from yours? Did she only come to your home 5 days a week for eight to ten hours? Did you have a father? Unless your mother had only work hours to accomplish her housekeeping tasks and had no other adult to help her then your comparison is meaningless. Perhaps a good nanny would have taught you what the word "comparable" means.

My father did not help with any domestic chores. No cooking, no laundry, no school planning, no bill paying, very little of the interior or exterior home maintenance (90% my mom) other than mowing or shoveling, no grocery shopping, and little engagement with kids in the evening hours. Mom did baths and bedtime. Dad relaxed with a beer after a hard day's work, if he was home by then. Mom was expected to accomplish all if this during the hours my dad was away, not when he was home, at which time she was expected to attend to him - dinner, spending time with him, etc. "House work" was for the day time. And yet, she accomplished all of this while raising three highly successful children.

And I did learn the definition of comparable. Look, I'll even use it in a sentence: your work ethic is not comparable to hers. To be comparable, it would have to be close enough in nature to be able to compare. Having little or no work ethic (you) means that I cannot legitimately compare it to a strong work ethic (hers).

Your mom didn't have a strong work ethic. She was a doormat.
What does this even have to do with this discussion?

You clearly don't know my mom. She's anything but a doormat. The life she and my dad had at the time, though, was divided that way by mutual agreement. He was launching a business and she covered the home. And she managed to get it all done AND raise well adjusted, successful children.

What does it have to do with this discussion? Well, certain nannies are arguing that if the nanny does anything that is not 100% child-centric, the children will suffer. That's an absurd argument, and I raise the example of my own mother as an example. Capable, incredibly loving and dedicated mom, accomplished far more than just "child related" duties, managed not to cause harm to her children by doing so in their presence.

Nanny should not be a synonym for lazy. Please stop trying to demonstrate that definition.

[Anonymous]

A nanny is not a mother, at least not the mother of your children. Why is that so hard to understand? Stop making stupid comparisons.

A mother has countless hours and years with her children. Of course they won't suffer if she takes time throughout their day to take care of household things. A nanny's job is to care for and develop the children on a professional level worthy of her title and pay. The level of work and the time she has to implement that work suffers when you divide her attention. This is simply fact. If you are doing multiple things at once, you may do them effectively, but chances are you could do one thing excellently if given your whole focus.

No the child won't fall over and die if nanny folds laundry, and I don't think that's what PP meant. However, a nanny could do much more with a child during the day if she isn't also expected to replace mom and manage the entire household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A nanny is not a mother, at least not the mother of your children. Why is that so hard to understand? Stop making stupid comparisons.

A mother has countless hours and years with her children. Of course they won't suffer if she takes time throughout their day to take care of household things. A nanny's job is to care for and develop the children on a professional level worthy of her title and pay. The level of work and the time she has to implement that work suffers when you divide her attention. This is simply fact. If you are doing multiple things at once, you may do them effectively, but chances are you could do one thing excellently if given your whole focus.

No the child won't fall over and die if nanny folds laundry, and I don't think that's what PP meant. However, a nanny could do much more with a child during the day if she isn't also expected to replace mom and manage the entire household.

You pay a premium for a nanny at your home. A nanny is in the home 40+ hours a week. They are using the kitchen, common areas and bathroom. They can help keep hem clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gotten hilarious! Are you seriously suggesting that doing any non-child related household tasks shortchanges the child? Do you really think it makes a difference to a baby whether you are washing his bottle or his mother's coffee mug? This has to be a troll post, right? A random developmental psych class in college is not a substitute for actual experience with children ...

What household tasks a nanny provides are really between her and her employers. This isn't a one size fits all and there is no "industry standard" here. Most kids nap for 1.5-3 hours a day (in multiple naps or one long one) and when they no longer do that, they are typically in preschool so most nannies have some down time in their day to help out. And IRL every nanny we interviewed volunteered the various household tasks she had previously performed so obviously not all nannies share the views of the nannies on this thread.

Better than using downtime though, our nanny does a number of non-child related things for us including loading and unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, and buying groceries, but I have noticed that she tends to do almost all her household tasks (child related or not) with DC in tow, making them into a fun and engaging game for him. When he was a baby, she'd sit him somewhere safe and talk to him the entire time, narrating what she was doing and holding things up for him to see. When he got old enough to "help" he'd do that too (even though helping sometimes meant sitting in the laundry basket handing armfuls of clothes to her) and now at 2.5, he always wants to rinse off plates after meals or help me unload the dishwasher or "fold" the laundry. We've never asked her to make our bed but I can only imagine that she's find some way of making that into a fun game for DC as well. I think it does make things go slower but it is teaching DC important skills for life as well as keeping him engaged, entertained, and out of trouble. I think the only thing our nanny does while he's napping is vacuum and it takes about ten minutes so she still has plenty of time for a nice long break. Everyone wins and we will do whatever we can to keep her for years!

FWIW - our nanny has repeatedly told us that she considers household tasks like vacuuming and grocery shopping to be "child related" because they benefit the entire family, including the kids, and because they enable us - after a long day of work - to give DC the thing kids really need the most to thrive developmentally - time with his parents.

Yes, I am absolutely asserting that a nanny forced to do housekeeping tasks shortchanges the child. Was that not clear the first three times I wrote it? However, I'm sure you know what is best for your children - hey, not every child grows up to be "college-material". I hear with global warming that the need for air conditioner repair people will be great. Why not look back on your child's most formative years and be proud of the fact that you never had to make your own bed or wash your own stained underpants?!

Did you go to college? Because clearly you have no idea what it takes to be "college-material." You've also clearly never read any child development books because then you would know the benefits to doing household chores while talking to your infant about what you are doing (just like PP said her nanny does). What about children with a SAHP who spends the day doing household chores with their children? Do you think none of those children go to college and go on to be successful?

If a parent posted that they hired someone (not a nanny) to do all those chores including the children's laundry, make beds, clear their rooms etc you'd be the first person to post that parents should be teaching their children those things, not outsourcing them, because the children will grow up entitled never knowing how to do anything for themselves. So it's ok for the parents to show children how to do laundry but not the nanny (who by the way WANTS to do those things). It's fine if, as a nanny, you don't want to do those things but don't pretend it's bad for the children if you do. You just don't want to.

Yes, Dear, I have a masters in Early Childhood Education. What about you? And as smart as my infant charges are, they don't learn anything from watching me do the lazy parent's laundry. Every single nanny posting and I have clearly written that they feel that the charge's laundry, cooking, cleaning and upkeep is the nanny's responsibility.

You really need to stop trying to justify having your nanny made your bed and do your laundry - I'm embarrassed for you.

Out of genuine curiosity, how is it meaningfully different to a child whose laundry you are doing? Doing laundry is doing laundry ...

TIME. A nanny has limited TIME. How much do you think your child can learn from load after load after load of laundry day after day after day? Seriously, how is this so difficult for your lazy moms to understand?! Your justifications for not doing your own laundry are hysterical!

What exactly are you teaching? By learning, then I'd qualify that to mean you are doing workbooks, flashcards and other academics. If not, you've got time on your hands. A nanny is there to make the parent's life easier. If you make it harder and day care becomes easier, you are out of a job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A nanny is not a mother, at least not the mother of your children. Why is that so hard to understand? Stop making stupid comparisons.

A mother has countless hours and years with her children. Of course they won't suffer if she takes time throughout their day to take care of household things. A nanny's job is to care for and develop the children on a professional level worthy of her title and pay. The level of work and the time she has to implement that work suffers when you divide her attention. This is simply fact. If you are doing multiple things at once, you may do them effectively, but chances are you could do one thing excellently if given your whole focus.

No the child won't fall over and die if nanny folds laundry, and I don't think that's what PP meant. However, a nanny could do much more with a child during the day if she isn't also expected to replace mom and manage the entire household.

You pay a premium for a nanny at your home. A nanny is in the home 40+ hours a week. They are using the kitchen, common areas and bathroom. They can help keep hem clean.

Any decent nanny will clean up after herself. Your house should look the way it did when you left it. If you live like a pig, your house will look like a sty. This is not your nanny's issue, and not the reason for the premium you pay. The premium is for the one on one care for your snowflake, while daycare is good enough for everyone else. Its expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gotten hilarious! Are you seriously suggesting that doing any non-child related household tasks shortchanges the child? Do you really think it makes a difference to a baby whether you are washing his bottle or his mother's coffee mug? This has to be a troll post, right? A random developmental psych class in college is not a substitute for actual experience with children ...

What household tasks a nanny provides are really between her and her employers. This isn't a one size fits all and there is no "industry standard" here. Most kids nap for 1.5-3 hours a day (in multiple naps or one long one) and when they no longer do that, they are typically in preschool so most nannies have some down time in their day to help out. And IRL every nanny we interviewed volunteered the various household tasks she had previously performed so obviously not all nannies share the views of the nannies on this thread.

Better than using downtime though, our nanny does a number of non-child related things for us including loading and unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, and buying groceries, but I have noticed that she tends to do almost all her household tasks (child related or not) with DC in tow, making them into a fun and engaging game for him. When he was a baby, she'd sit him somewhere safe and talk to him the entire time, narrating what she was doing and holding things up for him to see. When he got old enough to "help" he'd do that too (even though helping sometimes meant sitting in the laundry basket handing armfuls of clothes to her) and now at 2.5, he always wants to rinse off plates after meals or help me unload the dishwasher or "fold" the laundry. We've never asked her to make our bed but I can only imagine that she's find some way of making that into a fun game for DC as well. I think it does make things go slower but it is teaching DC important skills for life as well as keeping him engaged, entertained, and out of trouble. I think the only thing our nanny does while he's napping is vacuum and it takes about ten minutes so she still has plenty of time for a nice long break. Everyone wins and we will do whatever we can to keep her for years!

FWIW - our nanny has repeatedly told us that she considers household tasks like vacuuming and grocery shopping to be "child related" because they benefit the entire family, including the kids, and because they enable us - after a long day of work - to give DC the thing kids really need the most to thrive developmentally - time with his parents.

Yes, I am absolutely asserting that a nanny forced to do housekeeping tasks shortchanges the child. Was that not clear the first three times I wrote it? However, I'm sure you know what is best for your children - hey, not every child grows up to be "college-material". I hear with global warming that the need for air conditioner repair people will be great. Why not look back on your child's most formative years and be proud of the fact that you never had to make your own bed or wash your own stained underpants?!

Did you go to college? Because clearly you have no idea what it takes to be "college-material." You've also clearly never read any child development books because then you would know the benefits to doing household chores while talking to your infant about what you are doing (just like PP said her nanny does). What about children with a SAHP who spends the day doing household chores with their children? Do you think none of those children go to college and go on to be successful?

If a parent posted that they hired someone (not a nanny) to do all those chores including the children's laundry, make beds, clear their rooms etc you'd be the first person to post that parents should be teaching their children those things, not outsourcing them, because the children will grow up entitled never knowing how to do anything for themselves. So it's ok for the parents to show children how to do laundry but not the nanny (who by the way WANTS to do those things). It's fine if, as a nanny, you don't want to do those things but don't pretend it's bad for the children if you do. You just don't want to.

Yes, Dear, I have a masters in Early Childhood Education. What about you? And as smart as my infant charges are, they don't learn anything from watching me do the lazy parent's laundry. Every single nanny posting and I have clearly written that they feel that the charge's laundry, cooking, cleaning and upkeep is the nanny's responsibility.

You really need to stop trying to justify having your nanny made your bed and do your laundry - I'm embarrassed for you.

Out of genuine curiosity, how is it meaningfully different to a child whose laundry you are doing? Doing laundry is doing laundry ...

TIME. A nanny has limited TIME. How much do you think your child can learn from load after load after load of laundry day after day after day? Seriously, how is this so difficult for your lazy moms to understand?! Your justifications for not doing your own laundry are hysterical!

What exactly are you teaching? By learning, then I'd qualify that to mean you are doing workbooks, flashcards and other academics. If not, you've got time on your hands. A nanny is there to make the parent's life easier. If you make it harder and day care becomes easier, you are out of a job!

A nanny is there to make your life easier by WATCHING YOUR KID and allowing you to work. Just like any other service you pay for. It has a definition and is not all encompassing. You MBs rant and rave about lazy and entitled nannies constantly, but you are the biggest group of lazy entitled bitches ever! Get off your ass and take care of your house yourself. I promise you, you won't break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gotten hilarious! Are you seriously suggesting that doing any non-child related household tasks shortchanges the child? Do you really think it makes a difference to a baby whether you are washing his bottle or his mother's coffee mug? This has to be a troll post, right? A random developmental psych class in college is not a substitute for actual experience with children ...

What household tasks a nanny provides are really between her and her employers. This isn't a one size fits all and there is no "industry standard" here. Most kids nap for 1.5-3 hours a day (in multiple naps or one long one) and when they no longer do that, they are typically in preschool so most nannies have some down time in their day to help out. And IRL every nanny we interviewed volunteered the various household tasks she had previously performed so obviously not all nannies share the views of the nannies on this thread.

Better than using downtime though, our nanny does a number of non-child related things for us including loading and unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, and buying groceries, but I have noticed that she tends to do almost all her household tasks (child related or not) with DC in tow, making them into a fun and engaging game for him. When he was a baby, she'd sit him somewhere safe and talk to him the entire time, narrating what she was doing and holding things up for him to see. When he got old enough to "help" he'd do that too (even though helping sometimes meant sitting in the laundry basket handing armfuls of clothes to her) and now at 2.5, he always wants to rinse off plates after meals or help me unload the dishwasher or "fold" the laundry. We've never asked her to make our bed but I can only imagine that she's find some way of making that into a fun game for DC as well. I think it does make things go slower but it is teaching DC important skills for life as well as keeping him engaged, entertained, and out of trouble. I think the only thing our nanny does while he's napping is vacuum and it takes about ten minutes so she still has plenty of time for a nice long break. Everyone wins and we will do whatever we can to keep her for years!

FWIW - our nanny has repeatedly told us that she considers household tasks like vacuuming and grocery shopping to be "child related" because they benefit the entire family, including the kids, and because they enable us - after a long day of work - to give DC the thing kids really need the most to thrive developmentally - time with his parents.

Yes, I am absolutely asserting that a nanny forced to do housekeeping tasks shortchanges the child. Was that not clear the first three times I wrote it? However, I'm sure you know what is best for your children - hey, not every child grows up to be "college-material". I hear with global warming that the need for air conditioner repair people will be great. Why not look back on your child's most formative years and be proud of the fact that you never had to make your own bed or wash your own stained underpants?!

Did you go to college? Because clearly you have no idea what it takes to be "college-material." You've also clearly never read any child development books because then you would know the benefits to doing household chores while talking to your infant about what you are doing (just like PP said her nanny does). What about children with a SAHP who spends the day doing household chores with their children? Do you think none of those children go to college and go on to be successful?

If a parent posted that they hired someone (not a nanny) to do all those chores including the children's laundry, make beds, clear their rooms etc you'd be the first person to post that parents should be teaching their children those things, not outsourcing them, because the children will grow up entitled never knowing how to do anything for themselves. So it's ok for the parents to show children how to do laundry but not the nanny (who by the way WANTS to do those things). It's fine if, as a nanny, you don't want to do those things but don't pretend it's bad for the children if you do. You just don't want to.

Yes, Dear, I have a masters in Early Childhood Education. What about you? And as smart as my infant charges are, they don't learn anything from watching me do the lazy parent's laundry. Every single nanny posting and I have clearly written that they feel that the charge's laundry, cooking, cleaning and upkeep is the nanny's responsibility.

You really need to stop trying to justify having your nanny made your bed and do your laundry - I'm embarrassed for you.

Out of genuine curiosity, how is it meaningfully different to a child whose laundry you are doing? Doing laundry is doing laundry ...

TIME. A nanny has limited TIME. How much do you think your child can learn from load after load after load of laundry day after day after day? Seriously, how is this so difficult for your lazy moms to understand?! Your justifications for not doing your own laundry are hysterical!

What exactly are you teaching? By learning, then I'd qualify that to mean you are doing workbooks, flashcards and other academics. If not, you've got time on your hands. A nanny is there to make the parent's life easier. If you make it harder and day care becomes easier, you are out of a job!

A nanny is there to make your life easier by WATCHING YOUR KID and allowing you to work. Just like any other service you pay for. It has a definition and is not all encompassing. You MBs rant and rave about lazy and entitled nannies constantly, but you are the biggest group of lazy entitled bitches ever! Get off your ass and take care of your house yourself. I promise you, you won't break.

Why do you assume we do not? My home is almost always spotless. Glad my nanny is not like you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gotten hilarious! Are you seriously suggesting that doing any non-child related household tasks shortchanges the child? Do you really think it makes a difference to a baby whether you are washing his bottle or his mother's coffee mug? This has to be a troll post, right? A random developmental psych class in college is not a substitute for actual experience with children ...

What household tasks a nanny provides are really between her and her employers. This isn't a one size fits all and there is no "industry standard" here. Most kids nap for 1.5-3 hours a day (in multiple naps or one long one) and when they no longer do that, they are typically in preschool so most nannies have some down time in their day to help out. And IRL every nanny we interviewed volunteered the various household tasks she had previously performed so obviously not all nannies share the views of the nannies on this thread.

Better than using downtime though, our nanny does a number of non-child related things for us including loading and unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, and buying groceries, but I have noticed that she tends to do almost all her household tasks (child related or not) with DC in tow, making them into a fun and engaging game for him. When he was a baby, she'd sit him somewhere safe and talk to him the entire time, narrating what she was doing and holding things up for him to see. When he got old enough to "help" he'd do that too (even though helping sometimes meant sitting in the laundry basket handing armfuls of clothes to her) and now at 2.5, he always wants to rinse off plates after meals or help me unload the dishwasher or "fold" the laundry. We've never asked her to make our bed but I can only imagine that she's find some way of making that into a fun game for DC as well. I think it does make things go slower but it is teaching DC important skills for life as well as keeping him engaged, entertained, and out of trouble. I think the only thing our nanny does while he's napping is vacuum and it takes about ten minutes so she still has plenty of time for a nice long break. Everyone wins and we will do whatever we can to keep her for years!

FWIW - our nanny has repeatedly told us that she considers household tasks like vacuuming and grocery shopping to be "child related" because they benefit the entire family, including the kids, and because they enable us - after a long day of work - to give DC the thing kids really need the most to thrive developmentally - time with his parents.

Yes, I am absolutely asserting that a nanny forced to do housekeeping tasks shortchanges the child. Was that not clear the first three times I wrote it? However, I'm sure you know what is best for your children - hey, not every child grows up to be "college-material". I hear with global warming that the need for air conditioner repair people will be great. Why not look back on your child's most formative years and be proud of the fact that you never had to make your own bed or wash your own stained underpants?!

Did you go to college? Because clearly you have no idea what it takes to be "college-material." You've also clearly never read any child development books because then you would know the benefits to doing household chores while talking to your infant about what you are doing (just like PP said her nanny does). What about children with a SAHP who spends the day doing household chores with their children? Do you think none of those children go to college and go on to be successful?

If a parent posted that they hired someone (not a nanny) to do all those chores including the children's laundry, make beds, clear their rooms etc you'd be the first person to post that parents should be teaching their children those things, not outsourcing them, because the children will grow up entitled never knowing how to do anything for themselves. So it's ok for the parents to show children how to do laundry but not the nanny (who by the way WANTS to do those things). It's fine if, as a nanny, you don't want to do those things but don't pretend it's bad for the children if you do. You just don't want to.

Yes, Dear, I have a masters in Early Childhood Education. What about you? And as smart as my infant charges are, they don't learn anything from watching me do the lazy parent's laundry. Every single nanny posting and I have clearly written that they feel that the charge's laundry, cooking, cleaning and upkeep is the nanny's responsibility.

You really need to stop trying to justify having your nanny made your bed and do your laundry - I'm embarrassed for you.

Out of genuine curiosity, how is it meaningfully different to a child whose laundry you are doing? Doing laundry is doing laundry ...

TIME. A nanny has limited TIME. How much do you think your child can learn from load after load after load of laundry day after day after day? Seriously, how is this so difficult for your lazy moms to understand?! Your justifications for not doing your own laundry are hysterical!

What exactly are you teaching? By learning, then I'd qualify that to mean you are doing workbooks, flashcards and other academics. If not, you've got time on your hands. A nanny is there to make the parent's life easier. If you make it harder and day care becomes easier, you are out of a job!

A nanny is there to make your life easier by WATCHING YOUR KID and allowing you to work. Just like any other service you pay for. It has a definition and is not all encompassing. You MBs rant and rave about lazy and entitled nannies constantly, but you are the biggest group of lazy entitled bitches ever! Get off your ass and take care of your house yourself. I promise you, you won't break.

Why do you assume we do not? My home is almost always spotless. Glad my nanny is not like you?

There are 8 pages of you, as a group, defending your right and expectation that a nanny is supposed to clean for you, and if she doesn't, its HER who is somehow lazy and entitled. I mean, the irony is just laughable! YOU are calling US lazy and entitled because WE don't want to do YOUR chores. Its insane lol

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of nasty Moms on this board with an enormous amount of time on their hands to post! I feel sorry for their nannies as well as their children. I concur that nannies are not housekeepers/maids and their job is to take care of the children and all tasks related to children.

[Anonymous]

The defensive "I'm not a maid!!!" nannies are carrying on as if the argument being made by moms is that the nannies must clean the entire house, toilet scrubbing and all, make everyone's beds, do everyone's laundry, and otherwise accomplish each and every domestic task one can think of. That's not the case, and I certainly haven't seen anyone arue for it.

What a number of employers ARE saying: those nannies who draw a like in the sand and declare that they will ONLY do child related tasks are typically just plain lazy. The extreme aversion to even considering the task of emptying the dishwasher of ADULT dishes (oh, the horror!) or running a load of adult laundry (but the undergarments...dear god!) is just silly. Most families I know don't ask the nanny to do adult laundry or adult bed making. But dishwashers? Sure. Sweep or vaccuum? Maybe. The adamant refusal to even consider a non-child related task is what makes you seem lazy and entitled. I have a professional, white collar, private office sort of job. Is filling copy paper part of my job? Nope, but I do it. Is setting up for a lunch meeting part of my job, or cleaning up dishes after? No, but I do it. I do plenty of "menial" tasks that fall well outside of my job description every day, as well as tasks that I could claim are the responsibility of another person or another department, because I have work ethic, a sense of personal responsibility, and a desire to function as part of a well oiled machine that is my office team. Sure, I COULD stand in my office and whine that those things aren't in my job description, but then I'd be behaving like a lazy entitled brat, and despite my stellar professional accomplishments in my area of expertise, would be viewed far less favorably by my employer.

[Anonymous]

You all sound like morons.

[Anonymous]

An employer doesn't have to justify or defend anything. The employer defines the job responsibilities. If housekeeping is something that an employer needs to be done then so be it. An employee doesn't have to accept a job with responsibilities that don't want. They are free to find a different job.

I have NEVER seen a MB post here that she couldn't find plenty of nanny candidates that were willing to do light housekeeping. I have seen employers complain that their nanny doesn't do anything but the employer wasn't clear about what responsibilities were expected. The solution os for employers to just include light housekeeping from the beginning and set the expectation up front that you will expect this as schedules change. As an employer YOU are responsible for being clear that X needs to be done not assume that your employee will always pick it up on their own.

I have seen nannies complain bitterly that all the job offers they see include light housekeeping. Too bad. The fantasy job where you are paid a high salary to entertain yourself while the kids nap and go to school is hard to find for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I note there has been no response to a PP's good question of how it is meaningfully different for a child to watch the nanny do kids laundry versus adults. That's a bit telling.

+1.

Right. Just like there were no meaningful responses to a few nanny responses in which we illustrated specific ways we spend our time, and how incredibly entitled and unreasonable it is to hold against a childcare provider the fact that she only wants to engage in child care. How dare she not want to make your bed or do your laundry! Perhaps you should demand it of your plumber or your contractor.

Well but that wasn't the question. You said that asking a nanny to do adult laundry "shortchanges" the child. In a subsequent post you said you correctly pointed out that no nanny on this thread including yourself objected to doing children's laundry. In your expert opinion, how are they different? How does one shortchange the child but not the other? Please enlighten us!

ANSWER: TIME. Doing a child's laundry takes time. Added to that the family laundry takes more time. I can do the baby's laundry when the baby naps for an hour and a half. I cannot do the parents laundry when the baby is napping as there is no time.

Seriously, have you never done laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom stayed home with my siblings and me until the youngest was around five. She did household work (both indoor and outdoor) for most of the day, but engaged with is while doing it. She had an almost half acre (or full acre?) organic garden, canned our food, made complicated meals, kept the house spotless, and, after my parents purchased a hardware store, brought us there with her while she worked part time. She most certainly did not get help from my dad with anything domestic, ever, and the expectation was that domestic tasks were conducted during the "workday".

Despite this tragic neglect at my mother's feet, I grew up to be an excellent student, great college, top law school, highly prestigious jobs, now working in what many would describe as a dream job. Oh, and I know how to take care of my home, make my own meals, and wash my own laundry.

Just imagine how differently my life would have turned out if only my mother had stuck to child-related tasks while caring for me. If only she'd done more reading on hold development, sanitized my toys a bit more often, and researched child friendly events or opportunities. Maybe I'd have been able to make something of myself.

Did your Mom have a home away from yours? Did she only come to your home 5 days a week for eight to ten hours? Did you have a father? Unless your mother had only work hours to accomplish her housekeeping tasks and had no other adult to help her then your comparison is meaningless. Perhaps a good nanny would have taught you what the word "comparable" means.

My father did not help with any domestic chores. No cooking, no laundry, no school planning, no bill paying, very little of the interior or exterior home maintenance (90% my mom) other than mowing or shoveling, no grocery shopping, and little engagement with kids in the evening hours. Mom did baths and bedtime. Dad relaxed with a beer after a hard day's work, if he was home by then. Mom was expected to accomplish all if this during the hours my dad was away, not when he was home, at which time she was expected to attend to him - dinner, spending time with him, etc. "House work" was for the day time. And yet, she accomplished all of this while raising three highly successful children.

And I did learn the definition of comparable. Look, I'll even use it in a sentence: your work ethic is not comparable to hers. To be comparable, it would have to be close enough in nature to be able to compare. Having little or no work ethic (you) means that I cannot legitimately compare it to a strong work ethic (hers).

So your mother did all this in eight to ten hours and then went home to do it for a second family? LOL - I think your "work ethic" is faulty not mine - I actually wash my own clothes and make my own bed AND then go to work! Wow, huh?!!