What is wrong with new parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a nanny is using the house for 40 hours, it isn't unreasonable to expect to unload the dishes/load (they are probably using some as well) and help out with other chores. Really, one baby is not big deal. If you were talking 3-4 kid, I would think differently. Funny how a SAHM can do all those things and more and a "nanny" who is paid to replace the mom cannot.

A nanny is NOT paid to "replace" the Mom!!! When a child is school-age is a teacher paid to replace the parents? Seriously, this is where mothers get into trouble!

As a nanny, I will wash what every I use for the baby and NEVER use the parents dishes, glassware, etc. I bring my lunch and I even bring my own water.

[Anonymous]

It's so easy to see who has a nanny who will stay with them and who will lose their nanny very soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do new parents seem to think that "nanny" means "housekeeper"? I have a graduate degree in Early Childhood Development and make clear in interviews that I will do anything and everything that concerns the baby - do the baby's laundry, clean the baby's bathroom, clean the baby's room, wash the baby's bottles, etc. But my number one priority is to engage and keep the baby stimulated and learning when awake and safe when asleep. Maid services are cheaper that I am - so why do all new parents seem to feel that making their bed, emptying their dishwasher and doing their laundry is part of a nanny's job? Don't they want me to have my eyes on their baby at all times? Is their child's health and safety less important than unloading their dishwasher?
Since I specialize in infant/baby care, I am usually stuck with new parents who have never had a nanny before and it is frustrating to know that they will never realize how good I truly am until I'm gone and they can compare me to their next nanny.
So, new parents, if your baby is happy and secure in his/her nanny's care and if your baby is learning and hitting all developmental milestones, be grateful - you have a good nanny. And make your own bed.

While I can agree with some of this, you also sound like an entitled nanny. I have worked for parents who were first time parents and they were great to work for. They understood what a nanny is. But you know what, I also did things like empty the dishwasher, keep things picked up and other little things. It wasn't because I had to, but part of being a nanny is to help make life easier for a family. And if that means emptying the dishwasher while little Johnny is sleeping so the parents don't have to worry about it, then great. But I don't work for people who think being a nanny is being a maid. You set those rules from the start.

Someone else mentioned people who don't understand what a nanny is. The girl who comes over to watch your kids while you go out is a babysitter, not a nanny. An 17 year old is not a nanny.

I once had a part time job watching someone's daughter a couple mornings a week and she never mentioned doing any housework, just taking care of the kid. I went to get a reference from her and her comment to the nanny agency was, "well, she is great, but she doesn't do any housework while she is here." Some people will never get it and that is why I don't work for those people. But at the same time, if I can do little things to make life easier, I will.

[Anonymous]

Where do you all get the idea that a nanny is to replace a stay at home mom? A nanny is a child care provider. She provides individualized and comprehensive care to a child/children in their home. If you want someone to do your dishes laundry and make your bed, you need to hire a housekeeper. The "housekeeper nanny" is a very recent invention of middle class parents who want two for the price of one and can't afford both.

If you'd hired a real nanny she'd be too busy doing her job to have time for all those extraneous duties. My charge takes a 3 hour afternoon nap. I spend about 30 minutes cleaning from lunch, straightening the play room, and hand washing dishes from the morning (I don't do the parents dishes, so I hand wash everything we use during the day). I then spend about an hour eating my lunch and relaxing. I then spend the last 90 minutes preparing kid meals, planning activities, preparing any activities for the afternoon, folding kid laundry, sanitizing toys, or researching or reading about my charges developmental stages, needs, and relevant activities. There is no time for bed making, or parental laundry, and my time is well spent.

[Anonymous]

Helping out with household chores doesn't mean the child is any less well cared for. Not being willing to unload a dishwasher is completely independent of the quality of child care you provide. In fact, I think it's better for a child not to ways be the focus of adult attention and to learn independent play. If my choice is a nanny who strictly limits her work vs a sitter who is generally helpful and hardworking, I'll hire the sitter any day. (And Id definitely pay her more!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do new parents seem to think that "nanny" means "housekeeper"? I have a graduate degree in Early Childhood Development and make clear in interviews that I will do anything and everything that concerns the baby - do the baby's laundry, clean the baby's bathroom, clean the baby's room, wash the baby's bottles, etc. But my number one priority is to engage and keep the baby stimulated and learning when awake and safe when asleep. Maid services are cheaper that I am - so why do all new parents seem to feel that making their bed, emptying their dishwasher and doing their laundry is part of a nanny's job? Don't they want me to have my eyes on their baby at all times? Is their child's health and safety less important than unloading their dishwasher?
Since I specialize in infant/baby care, I am usually stuck with new parents who have never had a nanny before and it is frustrating to know that they will never realize how good I truly am until I'm gone and they can compare me to their next nanny.
So, new parents, if your baby is happy and secure in his/her nanny's care and if your baby is learning and hitting all developmental milestones, be grateful - you have a good nanny. And make your own bed.

While I can agree with some of this, you also sound like an entitled nanny. I have worked for parents who were first time parents and they were great to work for. They understood what a nanny is. But you know what, I also did things like empty the dishwasher, keep things picked up and other little things. It wasn't because I had to, but part of being a nanny is to help make life easier for a family. And if that means emptying the dishwasher while little Johnny is sleeping so the parents don't have to worry about it, then great. But I don't work for people who think being a nanny is being a maid. You set those rules from the start.

Someone else mentioned people who don't understand what a nanny is. The girl who comes over to watch your kids while you go out is a babysitter, not a nanny. An 17 year old is not a nanny.

I once had a part time job watching someone's daughter a couple mornings a week and she never mentioned doing any housework, just taking care of the kid. I went to get a reference from her and her comment to the nanny agency was, "well, she is great, but she doesn't do any housework while she is here." Some people will never get it and that is why I don't work for those people. But at the same time, if I can do little things to make life easier, I will.

Omg! I had this same thing happen with a family I sat for occasionally. I thought we had a great relationship and was using her as a reference. Come to find out she was giving me a hearty recommendation, with the caveat that I never fold the laundry she leaves out or wash their dishes. Really??? She never once asked me to do either, and it was an evening sitting job. Laundry is certainly not a given. I can only imagine how many opportunities she ruined for me because she can neither communicate effectively nor does she have realistic expectations of the people she hires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Helping out with household chores doesn't mean the child is any less well cared for. Not being willing to unload a dishwasher is completely independent of the quality of child care you provide. In fact, I think it's better for a child not to ways be the focus of adult attention and to learn independent play. If my choice is a nanny who strictly limits her work vs a sitter who is generally helpful and hardworking, I'll hire the sitter any day. (And Id definitely pay her more!)

You're not breaking anyone's heart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Helping out with household chores doesn't mean the child is any less well cared for. Not being willing to unload a dishwasher is completely independent of the quality of child care you provide. In fact, I think it's better for a child not to ways be the focus of adult attention and to learn independent play. If my choice is a nanny who strictly limits her work vs a sitter who is generally helpful and hardworking, I'll hire the sitter any day. (And Id definitely pay her more!)

So when you go to work, MB, do you wash your boss's car during your lunch hour? Do you vacuum your office while thinking about your project or empty the waste-baskets when talking to a client? Why not?! I'd definitely hire someone who is generally helpful and hardworking!

And, no - you know very well you would not pay a sitter any more - who are we kidding here?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do new parents seem to think that "nanny" means "housekeeper"? I have a graduate degree in Early Childhood Development and make clear in interviews that I will do anything and everything that concerns the baby - do the baby's laundry, clean the baby's bathroom, clean the baby's room, wash the baby's bottles, etc. But my number one priority is to engage and keep the baby stimulated and learning when awake and safe when asleep. Maid services are cheaper that I am - so why do all new parents seem to feel that making their bed, emptying their dishwasher and doing their laundry is part of a nanny's job? Don't they want me to have my eyes on their baby at all times? Is their child's health and safety less important than unloading their dishwasher?
Since I specialize in infant/baby care, I am usually stuck with new parents who have never had a nanny before and it is frustrating to know that they will never realize how good I truly am until I'm gone and they can compare me to their next nanny.
So, new parents, if your baby is happy and secure in his/her nanny's care and if your baby is learning and hitting all developmental milestones, be grateful - you have a good nanny. And make your own bed.

While I can agree with some of this, you also sound like an entitled nanny. I have worked for parents who were first time parents and they were great to work for. They understood what a nanny is. But you know what, I also did things like empty the dishwasher, keep things picked up and other little things. It wasn't because I had to, but part of being a nanny is to help make life easier for a family. And if that means emptying the dishwasher while little Johnny is sleeping so the parents don't have to worry about it, then great. But I don't work for people who think being a nanny is being a maid. You set those rules from the start.

Someone else mentioned people who don't understand what a nanny is. The girl who comes over to watch your kids while you go out is a babysitter, not a nanny. An 17 year old is not a nanny.

I once had a part time job watching someone's daughter a couple mornings a week and she never mentioned doing any housework, just taking care of the kid. I went to get a reference from her and her comment to the nanny agency was, "well, she is great, but she doesn't do any housework while she is here." Some people will never get it and that is why I don't work for those people. But at the same time, if I can do little things to make life easier, I will.

I am educated, experienced and good at my job - but I am not entitled.

And we are talking about the same thing here. It has nothing to do with helping out the family in a pinch - it has to do with being expected to do household chores that are unrelated to the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My baby and toddler use dishes and silverware, so emptying the dishwasher pertains to them. Also, they need to learn to play somewhat independently - you don't need to watch them right there every second. If you're getting paid that much money it would be great if you were being useful during naptimes too. How hard is it for you to just make a bed?

So when you go to the office, MB, do you "do something useful" during your lunch hour and wash your boss's car? What about cleaning the office building you work in during your slow times? There is no reason why you can't wash the office windows while you are talking to a client on the phone!

During the baby's naptime, I do the baby's laundry, wash the baby's bottles, clean the baby's bathroom, clean the baby's toys, clean the wheels of his stroller, fold his laundry and put it away. So sorry you don't see that as "being useful".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping out with household chores doesn't mean the child is any less well cared for. Not being willing to unload a dishwasher is completely independent of the quality of child care you provide. In fact, I think it's better for a child not to ways be the focus of adult attention and to learn independent play. If my choice is a nanny who strictly limits her work vs a sitter who is generally helpful and hardworking, I'll hire the sitter any day. (And Id definitely pay her more!)

So when you go to work, MB, do you wash your boss's car during your lunch hour? Do you vacuum your office while thinking about your project or empty the waste-baskets when talking to a client? Why not?! I'd definitely hire someone who is generally helpful and hardworking!

And, no - you know very well you would not pay a sitter any more - who are we kidding here?!

Of course id pay more for someone who will do a wider range of work. I'm just not going to get hung up on what you call yourself. Look, if you honestly feel you are working hard, outside of breaks, for the time you are being paid, and you are doing an excellent job at what you do. Great, more power to you. I happen to know the needs of my one child, and know what can be accomplished in a day at home. I work part time shift work, so I'm doing the same job myself 5 out of 7 days. And no, for my household, someone who strictly limited themselves to childcare wouldn't work well for us.

I just think it's silly to try to justify the work you want to do by defining the title "nanny" by what you won't do and then pretending that adds some sort of value!

(And, yes, I empty the wastebaskets at work if they are full, I wash dishes in the break room, I load the copier, and I don't whine that an MD doesn't do those things!)

[Anonymous]

I guess I've been lucky with all my employers both past and current because I've never been expected to do any cleaning besides maintaining the home how they left it. I don't even do children's laundry. However, I've always unloaded dishwasher, organized and cleaned up when I saw a mess. It was never expected or became a new chore for me. Heck, I've offered to do laundry and cook a meal a week for them but have been turned down.

I'm primarily an infant/toddler nanny with a BA in special education, finishing up my second BA in nursing, and have 8years of full time experience with first time parents. Sounds to me like many of you are not screening your potential employers correctly during the interview process if this is happening at the majority of your positions. You need to question them as much as possible and set boundaries from the beginning. If your too scared to explain to them your expectations and quit on the spot when continued disrespect happens then you will constantly be taken advantage of.

I'd also suggest asking leading and senerio questions during the interview to observe their reactions, more so than their answers. Their behavior, tone of voice and body language should give you a good indication of their character.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, my main priority is to care for the kids. I also think my job is to make things easier for the family. I have no problem doing dishes, helping with dinner, or folding parents' laundry. It's understood by my employers that these tasks are not a required part of my daily duties, but something that I'll do to help out if I have the time. On a day where naps take up 3-4 hours time, there is really no reason a nanny can't unload the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny. College educated American nanny. In interviews or even prior to that I tell them what I do and won't do. All parents who hired me respect that.

Yes I do dishes unless your taking advantage.
I do the kids laundry often more like linens.
I clean up after messes that we make.
Often work for dog owners. I do a lot of stuff with them as well.

What I won't do is make your bed. I don't make my own. Clean up after your parties, wash your clothes unless it's an emergency.

I work for a lot of new parents. Some think I do too much though. I think it's how I address it.

[Anonymous]

OP is just pissed off that she can't find an easy job that doesn't require much work. The employer sets the job description and you are free to decline the job IF its offered to you. You don't get to dictate what an employer includes in the job description.

Nannies don't provide superior care than SAHM parents or even daycare. The value of a nanny is that a child gets more individualized attention than in a group setting, the child gets to stay in their home environment, the child can have smaller play dates with friends when they are older, the parents don't need to take time off from work every time the child has a cold, AND light house working chores like all laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and grocery shopping gets done during the day so the parents can spend the evenings and weekend time with their child.

The nannies on this thread are just plain lazy. If they cared one ounce about child development they would quickly acknowledge that its preferable for the parents to be spending their non-woring hours engaging the kids not doing the laundry. Instead these nannies zealously guard their multi hour break to surf the web and watch TV during the day with a bunch of bull shit.