I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA

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[Post New]02/28/2016 15:13
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Anonymous
OP, how did you meet him?
[Post New]02/28/2016 17:42
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A kid glad they have two homes because their dad beat their mom is totally different than a kid glad their dad cheated and married the AP.

Also, most kids in abuse situations don't have two homes. If the mom actually leaves, dad doesn't see them at all.


You are talking about purely physical abuse....there is more to abuse than "beating mom/the kids", I am currently married to someone who has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and has put me through a tremendous amount of emotional and verbal abuse and guess what, I am getting a divorce. My Son will most likely have two homes because it is extremely hard to prove in a court of law this type of abuse, but we will see...however, I feel that I am doing the right thing by my son by getting a divorce. Having him grow up in a toxic household is not "better" and I think when he is older and understands why I had to leave he will be glad that I did not stay with his crazy farther. I think your post is totally ignorant and very black and white. Are you one of those people that walk around saying things like, "oh you should stay, its not like he beats you every day?".....
[Post New]02/28/2016 17:58
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Anonymous
My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair
[Post New]02/28/2016 18:48
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you meet him?


He was my personal trainer.
[Post New]02/28/2016 18:56
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Vsubois19
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair


My dad left my mom for my aunt (my mom's brother's wife) and, although it was hard at the time, I also believe they are better off than if my parents stayed together.
[Post New]02/28/2016 18:58
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Anonymous
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair


My dad left my mom for my aunt (my mom's brother's wife) and, although it was hard at the time, I also believe they are better off than if my parents staying together.


That is so horrible! Your dad and your aunt couldn't find other people? If your dad and your mom needed to split, well sometimes that happens. But what a betrayal.
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:01
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?


He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

HAHAHAHA!
ROFLMAO!
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:02
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you meet him?


He was my personal trainer.

Is he still a PT now?
What do you do?
How can you afford a life together?
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:04
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Vsubois19
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair


My dad left my mom for my aunt (my mom's brother's wife) and, although it was hard at the time, I also believe they are better off than if my parents staying together.


That is so horrible! Your dad and your aunt couldn't find other people? If your dad and your mom needed to split, well sometimes that happens. But what a betrayal.


We like to keep it in the family luckily I grew up nonjudgemental so accepted that my dad was happier with my aunt/step-mom. It was nice to see him smiling again.
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:09
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Anonymous
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair


My dad left my mom for my aunt (my mom's brother's wife) and, although it was hard at the time, I also believe they are better off than if my parents staying together.


That is so horrible! Your dad and your aunt couldn't find other people? If your dad and your mom needed to split, well sometimes that happens. But what a betrayal.


We like to keep it in the family luckily I grew up nonjudgemental so accepted that my dad was happier with my aunt/step-mom. It was nice to see him smiling again.


I do judge people who have two paths to happiness: one that involves hurting another and one that does not, and then choose the path of hurt. I'm okay with being that kind of judgmental. He could have found someone who wasn't already part of your family to make him smile. But it is healthier for you emotionally to find a way to accept the new structure of your family, so I'm glad you were able to do that. What happened wasn't your fault and it wouldn't be fair for you to have to carried the pain and sadness of the situation.
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:15
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Anonymous
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair


My dad left my mom for my aunt (my mom's brother's wife) and, although it was hard at the time, I also believe they are better off than if my parents staying together.


That is so horrible! Your dad and your aunt couldn't find other people? If your dad and your mom needed to split, well sometimes that happens. But what a betrayal.


We like to keep it in the family luckily I grew up nonjudgemental so accepted that my dad was happier with my aunt/step-mom. It was nice to see him smiling again.



This explains so much about you and your posts.

[Post New]02/28/2016 19:17
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair



So it's okay to cheat if it makes you happy?


[Post New]02/28/2016 19:19
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Serious question, OP: what was your childhood like? Were you deprived of attention? Parents divorced? Mother more interested in dating than parenting? Why does your self esteem suck so badly that you crave the attention of anonymous people on a message board?


That is not a nice thing to say to a person. Someone is engaging in negative self talk.

Warbler




t was a fair question. Healthy people do not engage in the behavior OP did. Assuming she actually did. She is refusing to answer the tough questions and only answers with cute little quips that spell troll.
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:23
quote
Vsubois19
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Vsubois19 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair


My dad left my mom for my aunt (my mom's brother's wife) and, although it was hard at the time, I also believe they are better off than if my parents staying together.


That is so horrible! Your dad and your aunt couldn't find other people? If your dad and your mom needed to split, well sometimes that happens. But what a betrayal.


We like to keep it in the family luckily I grew up nonjudgemental so accepted that my dad was happier with my aunt/step-mom. It was nice to see him smiling again.


I do judge people who have two paths to happiness: one that involves hurting another and one that does not, and then choose the path of hurt. I'm okay with being that kind of judgmental. He could have found someone who wasn't already part of your family to make him smile. But it is healthier for you emotionally to find a way to accept the new structure of your family, so I'm glad you were able to do that. What happened wasn't your fault and it wouldn't be fair for you to have to carried the pain and sadness of the situation.


It was horrible on my brother and I, mostly because my parents hated each other after the split - still do. My mom was devastated but she didn't really love my dad. If I think about it, she was emotionally abusive towards my dad. The hatred did affect me, which is why I took longer than most people to move along my career trajectory,
[Post New]02/28/2016 19:29
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom's husband cheated with his childhood sweetheart. It was awkward bc she worked in my mom's drs office. He eventually left my mom. Seems happier they have been married for 16 or 17 yrs. He seems a lot happier. My mom was/is kind of a mess. She was crazy before the affair



So it's okay to cheat if it makes you happy?




No, I don't believe in cheating - ironic, I know. My hope is that I would be able to resolve any issues with my SO before it gets to that point.
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