I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

This situation is so trashy it's almost as bad as the girl who was dating the guy who was poaching beavers (or whatever).

Speaking of which, I wonder what happened to that guy's fat uncle - he was a cutie patootie.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Funny how folks with most "honor and integrity" get cheated on most often, or better yet, cheat themselves. Is this some kind of reverse karma to teach them not to judge?

You just made that up.

Anecdotal doesn't equal made-up

But it still equals a logical fallacy.

You can look up what that means.

You need to look up what boring means. Not everything is logical, my friend.

Yeah, you should definitely Google logical fallacy, "friend" - since you clearly don't even understand why I said that. (Hint: it's a logical fallacy because anecdotal evidence is meaningless).

If you think this is a logical statement, you're in a world of your own...

It's not only logical but true. Maybe you now need to look up the meaning of the word "hint," which should obviously imply to anyone capable of rational, linear thinking, that the onus is on the person claiming that anecdotes = statistically significant data to debunk themselves of that notion.

And I realize that now you will have to research the definition of these words: capable, rational, linear, onus, statistics, debunk, anecdotes, signicant. I should hope that you already know the meanings of imply, thinking, themselves, notion, etc. But given your inability to respond intelligently to any other post questioning why you cite random personal observations and claim them to be determinative, I might be too optimistic.

Or nerdy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

How are things going for you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

Hahahaha. That's what they alllllll say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with all you posters who say that OPs husband will cheat on her because he cheated with her. My dad cheated. He left my mother for his AP. As much as I hate to say this - they are soul mates. They really do get along well and he never cheated on her - well it that I know - they are old and still have a spark.

Same here. Twenty years later and I realize now he was really in love with this woman, still is, and my mom was a mess and just getting worse. I don't blame him for leaving but I think he could have treated me better in the process.

Cool. My dad married his AP. She used him to have another kid, then kicked him to the curb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

If a person will cheat with you, they will cheat on you. Your biggest mistake is thinking a cheater won’t cheat on you. I’m sure his first wife thought the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

good luck with that

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is the ex-wife taking it? I mean, do you care at all? What did this do to her life, and her kid's life? Not what he tells you, what you see for yourself.

She's moved on and dating. Their daughter is fine, she spends the weekends with us and she loves that she has two homes.

My ex left me for his AP and I guarantee you that his ex wife and child are not “fine”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

I’m sure at some point he was very happy with her.

[Anonymous]

Until today the last post was 5 years ago. I doubt that OP is still monitoring this. I also doubt she’s still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until today the last post was 5 years ago. I doubt that OP is still monitoring this. I also doubt she’s still married.

Maybe the OP is/was Meghan Edmonds King. She was the AP/girlfriend until the divorce. He married her in 2014. They had 3 rapid kids and then divorced in five years in 2020.

Timeline fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you embarrassed that your relationship started as an affair? What did your friends and family think? were children involved?

Not at all, you can't help who you fall in love with. They didn't like it at first, but they see how happy we are together. He has one kid with his ex. We're TTC now.

How old are you both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Friend" of people in a situation like this. FYI, we pretend it's normal to not cause drama, but we all feel sorry for her for being so naive and needy, and feel like he is a complete douchebag.

+1. Cheated upon ex-wife here. To his new wife, it appears the kids and I and my extended family are fine with the situation, because we are all polite to him and continue to include him in all events. The reality is that everyone thinks he's a jerk and are sad for the kids that he makes so many excuses to not fully live up to his responsibilities with them. Kids, of course, would never say anything negative to his face, because they don't want to lose him entirely, but they also think he's irresponsible.

I feel sort of sorry for the new wife. Long after he and I broke up, he started to date the new wife. I have absolute proof that he was cheating on her extensively while they were dating, but I can't tell her. It puts me in an awkkward position. If I told her about the cheating, she would never believe me. Plus, it would make child support and his continued relationship with the kids difficult.

So, I just paste on a smile and pretend everything is good.

But, don't mistake the outward superficial appearance that people are behaving normally to you to be a real reflection of their feelings toward you. Don't mistake that for the idea that peoe are happy for you, have any respect for you, think that your marriage will last, etc.

Okay, this one I have to hear. How do you have absolute proof he was cheating on her? Also, if it’s over, she may know and it may not matter anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? How about your "D"H?

I'm 30, he's 40.

Oh, you have so much left to learn about the long game, and how life turns the screw, over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid glad they have two homes because their dad beat their mom is totally different than a kid glad their dad cheated and married the AP.

Also, most kids in abuse situations don't have two homes. If the mom actually leaves, dad doesn't see them at all.

This is true. Why is that?