I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any bets on how soon he/she will cheat on you?

He won't cheat on me. He was very unhappy with his first wife and very happy with me.

Men are attracted to women regardless of how 'happy' he is. It may be easier to cheat after the first time. Dog has learned some new tricks. Cheaters cheat regardless how 'hot' their wives are. Just keep your eyes open.

[Anonymous]

If your husband cheats, will you be more understanding having BTDT?

[Anonymous]

"Friend" of people in a situation like this. FYI, we pretend it's normal to not cause drama, but we all feel sorry for her for being so naive and needy, and feel like he is a complete douchebag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your husband cheats, will you be more understanding having BTDT?

GOOD QUESTION. I bet the answer is "but he won't because this is different!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you embarrassed that your relationship started as an affair? What did your friends and family think? were children involved?

Not at all, you can't help who you fall in love with. They didn't like it at first, but they see how happy we are together. He has one kid with his ex. We're TTC now.

You can't help who you fall in love with but you CAN help how you choose to act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you embarrassed that your relationship started as an affair? What did your friends and family think? were children involved?

Not at all, you can't help who you fall in love with. They didn't like it at first, but they see how happy we are together. He has one kid with his ex. We're TTC now.

Yeah, that's what they say to your face because people are afraid of conflict and it would be too awkward to share with you what they tell to each other. I have a few cheaters who are friends and family, I'm pleasant to them because it's not my job to be the morality police, but my respect for them has dropped immensely.

OMG, and the play dates at these crazy family house are such a nightmare to deal with. I wish I could just say, no my kid is not allowed at your crazy house. But I just keep saying "sorry we are busy AGAIN"

+1 It was awkward enough doing playdates with the cheater dad, but at least I could tell myself that it was about our kids' friendship and I shouldn't punish a nice kid because his dad was an ass. But then dad makes a playdate, I take my kid to the house and the only adult at home is the homewrecker (of course they moved in together immediately) playing wife and mommy. So I got stuck having to answer "Who was that lady, she's not Larlo's mom, why does she live there?" and I had to figure out what to say to the ex-wife who is a very nice woman who I like a lot. Never again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you embarrassed that your relationship started as an affair? What did your friends and family think? were children involved?

Not at all, you can't help who you fall in love with. They didn't like it at first, but they see how happy we are together. He has one kid with his ex. We're TTC now.

You can't help who you fall in love with but you CAN help how you choose to act.

+1 You can also choose the situations in which you place yourself at the outset.

[Anonymous]

Wow, so you have no compunction about your role in breaking up a family? You consider yourself a good, moral person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your husband cheats, will you be more understanding having BTDT?

Of course. She'll think it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Guilt can be a long, slow killer. It's the way we're wired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you guys like to know?

Justvtivtellvyiu, "If he does it with you, he'll do it to you." you will get all that you so richly deserve.

[Anonymous]

OP, how do you feel about other people who cheat?

[Anonymous]

I would never brag about being so trashy and hurting other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you embarrassed that your relationship started as an affair? What did your friends and family think? were children involved?

Not at all, you can't help who you fall in love with. They didn't like it at first, but they see how happy we are together. He has one kid with his ex. We're TTC now.

You can't help who you fall in love with but you CAN help how you choose to act.

Agree. You know that a married person is off limits and you move on. You have messed up the lives of two people, neither of whom did anything to deserve to have their lives messed up. I hope you are unsuccessful at having a child. Both of you have already proved that you are morally unfit people.

[Anonymous]