Anonymous wrote:

maril332 wrote:Ok, just asked DH "do I smell like smoke". He said "No, why would you? You don't smoke."


I think if I did smoke to an extent that he knew about it, we would have had an all out war.

So you smoke 3 nights a week and your husband doesn't even know about it?

Anonymous wrote:

maril332 wrote:is this as "gross" "horrifying" and other exaggerated words that "chain" smokers are called?

I have been smoking for about 2 years about 3 cigs a night while out with friends. I don't reek of smoke and my teeth aren't yellow. I know it is still a risk and also second and third hand smoke but is "social smoking" as stigmatized as being just a smoker plain and simple?

You stink. Trust us.... And you look slutty while you smoke. But, maybe that's your plan.

Anonymous wrote:You won't get much love for smoking on an upscale mom forum, obviously. Loitering outside a bar smoking a few times a week doesn't make you look any less trashy than an addict sucking them down by the office loading dock on the hour, not to mention some hillbilly flicking one out of a pickup truck.

If you want to have a roguish smoking habit, own it. Subsequently seeking salvation of your self esteem here will disappoint. And I'd be surprised if your husband were surprised that you smoke. And don't bother applying for life insurance until five years after you stop.

Sure, I'm a little bitter that I was a tobacco junkie and could never smoke in moderation for long. In sustaining your mild habit, you have a rare capability. But a lot of people still render you a scumbag anyway.

Anonymous wrote:ALL of my gay male friends (now adults) had sex with girls in high school while they were still figuring things out.

Anonymous wrote:You're a smoker. Own it. Over time, your teeth will be yellow, and chances are, you already do reek, you just can't smell it yourself. Because you're a smoker.

Anonymous wrote:

maril332 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how the parents manage the forbidden fruit. For example we don't drink soda in our family. But, I make sure that if my kids want it they can occasionally have it at parties or if they have a craving. Soda isn't "bad" it's just something that we don't have in our house. I don't want soda -or anything else we "ban" - to turn into a forbidden fruit.

Make up isn't "bad" and there are appropriate types of make-up for different ages. An older teenager isn't going to wear bonnie bell lip gloss.

Same thing with boys & parties. If you are banning the party because there will be no adults, that is different because of "boys".

and this argument (soda) makes sense.

I remember growing up, my mom would not let us have sweets. Not in the house or out. So instead of us being kids who maybe had a piece of candy here and there, we became crazy when out of our parents view. Going to friends homes and pigging out on as much sugar as we could because we never had any at home. My kids are not raised like that. We have sweets at home to eat in moderation, so hopefully when I'm not around they aren't trying to shove as much in as fast as they can.

Not so fast -- even with sweets. There are real reasons why some sweets are a bad idea, and some kids are more sensitive than others. If you had a kid that spent 3h on a dentist chair to fix sugar damage to his teeth, or if you had the kid who melted down every time Blue Raspberry flavor was added to a piece of candy, you'd be pretty strict about candy as well.

Does a Sneaker Bar become a forbidden fruit to a kid with peanut allergies? You bet. My daughter's classmate was taken to the hospital in an ambulance because of a piece of candy swapped during lunchtime. Forbidden Fruit + Opportunity. But that does not stop virtually all adults around these kids from enforcing the NO Peanuts boundaries.

Why would a parent trying to protect their kids against a ringpop not get any support in the community?

To folks in support for allowing teenagers to have sex in the house -- do you have the same attitude towards alcohol? Drugs? Where do you draw the line?

And... how do you discuss the matter with your child's partner's parents? Do you know that they agree to your philosophy? Do you care if they don't?

Anonymous wrote:chandra levy