Husband's beloved rural cabin makes me ill

[Anonymous]

I feel like Carrie on SATC when Aiden takes her to the country!!
HA.
But really: My husband's family owns a rural cabin in a very remote part of PA. There's nothing to do. When we were dating, I went along with it and pretended to be charmed. We lived across the country at the time and I thought, how bad could it be?

Well now we're back in the area and he wants to go there throughout the summer. It causes fights. There is a tiny bathroom without effective plumbing, but the main issue is mold -- there's something in the home that makes me wheeze and break out in hives on my neck and chest whenever I am inside and Nyquil or Benadryl doesn't touch it (or else just makes me sleep). There are no doors for the two small bedrooms and no shades so the light pours in at 5 a.m.

The only alternative to being inside is to spend all my time on a screen porch.

He takes the kids fly-fishing or canoeing, neither of which I do.

My issue is normally I just suck it up for a weekend in the summer but he really gets resentful and wants to go more. Next week, I am launching a massive initiative at work that a promotion depends on. I have spent the past month head down on it working weekends and nights sometimes. I want nothing more to spend a quiet Labor Day hanging with my family. DH is upset and wants to go to the log cabin. I said please, I just need a quiet weekend to regroup before my big event, can we do small trips close to home, and he's pissed off. Then he said fine I want to go, just stay home alone.
So basically I spent the weekend alone by myself or go to the cabin where I'll get no sleep due to my allergies.

WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like Carrie on SATC when Aiden takes her to the country!!
HA.
But really: My husband's family owns a rural cabin in a very remote part of PA. There's nothing to do. When we were dating, I went along with it and pretended to be charmed. We lived across the country at the time and I thought, how bad could it be?

Well now we're back in the area and he wants to go there throughout the summer. It causes fights. There is a tiny bathroom without effective plumbing, but the main issue is mold -- there's something in the home that makes me wheeze and break out in hives on my neck and chest whenever I am inside and Nyquil or Benadryl doesn't touch it (or else just makes me sleep). There are no doors for the two small bedrooms and no shades so the light pours in at 5 a.m.

The only alternative to being inside is to spend all my time on a screen porch.

He takes the kids fly-fishing or canoeing, neither of which I do.

My issue is normally I just suck it up for a weekend in the summer but he really gets resentful and wants to go more. Next week, I am launching a massive initiative at work that a promotion depends on. I have spent the past month head down on it working weekends and nights sometimes. I want nothing more to spend a quiet Labor Day hanging with my family. DH is upset and wants to go to the log cabin. I said please, I just need a quiet weekend to regroup before my big event, can we do small trips close to home, and he's pissed off. Then he said fine I want to go, just stay home alone.
So basically I spent the weekend alone by myself or go to the cabin where I'll get no sleep due to my allergies.

WWYD

Spend not spent..it's this weekend upcoming

[Anonymous]

If he is able to take the kids, if I were you I would enjoy nothing more than a weekend to myself.

[Anonymous]

Weekend alone sounds ideal to me! Book a weekend at a hotel with a spa and get ready for your work event.

I’m super allergic to mold and I 100% sympathize. There are other medications you could take. But really I’d say you go once a year. Other times he goes with the guys or kids.

[Anonymous]

Let him take the kids and you get some R&R at home. then next weekend you can plan something fun with the kids that you like.

[Anonymous]

Staying home sounds nice to me!

I can't tmagine expecting spouse to drug himself to spend time somewhere (he chooses to take allergy meds to go to homes with pets, but that's his choice)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is able to take the kids, if I were you I would enjoy nothing more than a weekend to myself.

This! Lordy, that sounds dreamy.

[Anonymous]

I’d beg away this weekend, but then find a long term solution moving forward. Take allergy shots/pills, add a dehumidifier and have the cabin really cleaned top to bottom.

But I really don’t think you’d want to go even if the cabin was sparkly clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d beg away this weekend, but then find a long term solution moving forward. Take allergy shots/pills, add a dehumidifier and have the cabin really cleaned top to bottom.

But I really don’t think you’d want to go even if the cabin was sparkly clean.

Right, like thought experiment: The cabin has no mold and you feel fine. But it is still small and you have nothing you like to do. Wanna go??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is able to take the kids, if I were you I would enjoy nothing more than a weekend to myself.

I second this. I would love a weekend, especially a long weekend, alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is able to take the kids, if I were you I would enjoy nothing more than a weekend to myself.

I second this. I would love a weekend, especially a long weekend, alone.

+1

[Anonymous]

Just cut back. Go sometimes, not always. Drive separately and stay for one night instead of two. Skip every other time, or whatever.

Give a little, take a little.

[Anonymous]

Does you husband acknowledge that you feel sick there? Does he offer to do something to help?

While I think you should explore medication, it seems like he should be offering suggestions to change the environment to make it more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is able to take the kids, if I were you I would enjoy nothing more than a weekend to myself.

I second this. I would love a weekend, especially a long weekend, alone.

+1

Yup

[Anonymous]

If a building was making my spouse sick we wouldn’t be going there.