Would You Date Someone Who Used To Be Overweight?

[Anonymous]

I’m 32 and lost over 100lbs when I was 30. I’m 5’1” and spent most of my life very skinny and then a healthy skinny in my teens. Then I got hit with PCOS and some depression ( unresolved family issues as a child) and I was very overweight. I decided that I was tired of being sick and tired and didn’t love myself or my body. I lost all of the weight and went to therapy when I was 30. It was an amazing feeling. Now I’m very passionate about nutrition and working out. I know I will never go back to that place I was once in. I’m not crazy about it, but I do have many activities now that are centered around cooking healthy food and active activities like working out, running, hiking, etc. I’ve stayed committed to be the best possible version of myself. This all sounds great but dating is hard when men learn I used to be overweight. I have had two relationships since then that never cared ( one was also overweight and lost it), but most wont give me a chance. I don’t really talk about it, but I also don’t shy away from it once we started getting closer and I open about that chapter in my life. Some have been understanding, but most kind of just don’t like me after it. I know it’s going to come up at some point and I will not be able to hide it from a future partner. Do men really care if a woman was once overweight? Would you not date a woman because she was overweight?

[Anonymous]

I think most people assume you will get heavy again after kids. It’s not really fair but I think that’s what’s going on. Most of my friends who were thin but worked at it all puffed up after kids, especially kid 2 or 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people assume you will get heavy again after kids. It’s not really fair but I think that’s what’s going on. Most of my friends who were thin but worked at it all puffed up after kids, especially kid 2 or 3.

Unfortunately, I think this is true. OP, you can use this as a way to weed out shallow jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people assume you will get heavy again after kids. It’s not really fair but I think that’s what’s going on. Most of my friends who were thin but worked at it all puffed up after kids, especially kid 2 or 3.

I know a real jerk guy who had a huge complex because he was a fat kid and god bullied. He talk about his future wife losing all the baby weight by 2-3 months and nothing else was acceptable. Some men are real jerks. Stay away from them. Go for a guy who doesn’t care because your weight will fluctuate if you have kids and as you get older.

[Anonymous]

I'd date someone who was currently overweight.

[Anonymous]

Think of this as a way of weeding out the losers. You may never gain the weight back but you want to be with someone who loves you regardless what the scale says, right?

[Anonymous]

OP the right person will not care. Honestly if they do you don't want them. How stressful to be worried day in and day out that your partner might bail if you were to gain weight?

Ignore the idiots find a guy that loves you for you.

[Anonymous]

No. Chances are it will happy again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most people assume you will get heavy again after kids. It’s not really fair but I think that’s what’s going on. Most of my friends who were thin but worked at it all puffed up after kids, especially kid 2 or 3.

Unfortunately, I think this is true. OP, you can use this as a way to weed out shallow jerks.

Agreed. It is great that you are in such a good place with both your mental and physical health right now, and it sounds like you are living a really happy and healthy lifestyle. But if you are looking for a life partner, you need to find someone who would support you even when you struggle, whether that comes in the form of gaining weight, another bout of depression, or some unrelated health issue or issue (you will have them, everyone does). Anyone who would dismiss you as a potential partner because they are worried your history with weight gain will be a problem in the future is frankly being unrealistic about how life works. Consider yourself lucky that you have such an easy way to screen out immature guys who think everyone should always look and feel perfect with no issues. They are in for a rude awakening in life and no reason for you to have to walk them through it.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, a good way to weed out the jerks. Our society is shallow, I get that some people have preferences and some prefer to just be around people who are always skinny and never struggled, but you have to decide if that's someone you want to commit to and be in a relationship with? I know if it's a main concern for a man, I'm not interested.

[Anonymous]

No. If you were fat at a young age, you will be fat again. I know so.many people who were thin then got fat after kids. You are already going into this with the deck stacked against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. If you were fat at a young age, you will be fat again. I know so.many people who were thin then got fat after kids. You are already going into this with the deck stacked against you.

OP said she was skinny for most of her life. I know many people who lost a lot of weight who kept it off without any issues.

[Anonymous]

Please tell me you’re not one of those vegan freaks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. If you were fat at a young age, you will be fat again. I know so.many people who were thin then got fat after kids. You are already going into this with the deck stacked against you.

OP said she was skinny for most of her life. I know many people who lost a lot of weight who kept it off without any issues.

Because as DCUM tells us time and time again, FAT IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN BE. You can cheat, have APs, do drugs, etc. BUT don't be fat. It's a moral failing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. If you were fat at a young age, you will be fat again. I know so.many people who were thin then got fat after kids. You are already going into this with the deck stacked against you.

OP said she was skinny for most of her life. I know many people who lost a lot of weight who kept it off without any issues.

Fat by 30 is not thin all her life. It’s super easy to be thin when young