Big law mom with little kids

[Anonymous]

Hi, I’m a 4th year associate in big law with two little kids under 4. How did big law moms juggle the crazy hours and raising kids? I’m finding it to be very challenging and looking for advise/options. Would going on a reduced schedule help or is it less pay for same street/hours? We have a nanny which helps tremendously but we have to pick/drop off from preschool. How did people manage that?

[Anonymous]

Quit your job and focus on your kids?

What do you want us to tell you, OP? You have some decisions to make.

[Anonymous]

I’m a 9th year and my husband is in biglaw too.

#1 is an au pair rather than nanny for the split schedule hours. Nannies are less helpful when you have kids in preschool.

The next biggest thing that saved my career is laundry service. They pick it up at the door and drop it off at the door, clean and folded.

[Anonymous]

Why isn't nanny handling pick up and drop off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why isn't nanny handling pick up and drop off?

+1

[Anonymous]

You need to be very efficient with your time and negotiate the number of hours you think you can do in a reasonable amount of time. Have a partner who is a 100% engaged on the home front. Hire a very competent nanny and compensate her well. The nanny should do preschool drop off/pick up.

If you or your spouse think the children are being shortchanged, then one or both of you need to step back. Finally, DON’t have a 3rd.

[Anonymous]

Part time doesn’t work in Biglaw. You’ll still be working all the time just getting paid less. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why isn't nanny handling pick up and drop off?

+1

Probably doesn't drive. A driving nanny costs more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to be very efficient with your time and negotiate the number of hours you think you can do in a reasonable amount of time. Have a partner who is a 100% engaged on the home front. Hire a very competent nanny and compensate her well. The nanny should do preschool drop off/pick up.

If you or your spouse think the children are being shortchanged, then one or both of you need to step back. Finally, DON’t have a 3rd.

Gee. Ya think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to be very efficient with your time and negotiate the number of hours you think you can do in a reasonable amount of time. Have a partner who is a 100% engaged on the home front. Hire a very competent nanny and compensate her well. The nanny should do preschool drop off/pick up.

If you or your spouse think the children are being shortchanged, then one or both of you need to step back. Finally, DON’t have a 3rd.

Gee. Ya think?

I’m the pp. No, I don’t assume having two working parents means the kids are being shortchanged.

[Anonymous]

You need better and more childcare. Find a nanny or au pair who can do pick up and drop off. There's no such thing as too much coverage. When things are quiet, take a break and spend time with your kids, even if the nanny or au pair is scheduled. You pay for time you don't need, but it's what you pay to have coverage when sh!t hits the fan and you can't get home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to be very efficient with your time and negotiate the number of hours you think you can do in a reasonable amount of time. Have a partner who is a 100% engaged on the home front. Hire a very competent nanny and compensate her well. The nanny should do preschool drop off/pick up.

If you or your spouse think the children are being shortchanged, then one or both of you need to step back. Finally, DON’t have a 3rd.

Gee. Ya think?

I’m the pp. No, I don’t assume having two working parents means the kids are being shortchanged.

When one (especially the mother) or perhaps both are in BigLaw, and the kids are this young, you can almost guarantee it.

[Anonymous]

OP here: did any big law moms get asked to be pushed back a year? As in, you were going to be a 5th year, but at your review they said you needed to be held back and stay as a 4th year? If so, what did you do? Is that a sign you are being mommy-tracked?

[Anonymous]

You need to outsource as much as possible (drop off/pick up, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.). I traded time with my kids during the day for many, many late nights (always worked from their bedtime until at least 1am) - and during naptime on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Way to be stereotypical and judgmental. Yes, kids can be healthy and well adjusted with two working parents, even if the parents work in big law. I know a number of kids in that situation and they are intelligent, inquisitive and kind. You could learn something from them.