Big law mom with little kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: did any big law moms get asked to be pushed back a year? As in, you were going to be a 5th year, but at your review they said you needed to be held back and stay as a 4th year? If so, what did you do? Is that a sign you are being mommy-tracked?

I don't know that it's a bad sign, OP, but it's certainly not a good sign. What reasoning did they give you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way to be stereotypical and judgmental. Yes, kids can be healthy and well adjusted with two working parents, even if the parents work in big law. I know a number of kids in that situation and they are intelligent, inquisitive and kind. You could learn something from them.

I was responding to 12:31

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: did any big law moms get asked to be pushed back a year? As in, you were going to be a 5th year, but at your review they said you needed to be held back and stay as a 4th year? If so, what did you do? Is that a sign you are being mommy-tracked?

It happened to me. No, not mommy tracked. It’s laying the groundwork to fire you. Start looking. If you want more biglaw I suggest Darin Morgan at MLA.

[Anonymous]

I am in biglaw with two little kids and a husband with an equally demanding job that, additionally, involves a lot of travel. I have an au pair and a cleaning service. I generally don't work between 6 and 8pm, and I almost always work after 8pm. I don't think my kids are being shortchanged, though my ability to sleep and exercise certainly is!

[Anonymous]

If your kids are affecting your ability to work, you need more childcare. I’ve known lawyers who have an Au pair plus nannies. However if you’re about to be fired, I wouldn’t wait for an AP as they’re hard to get right now. I’d figure out what you need to do to keep your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: did any big law moms get asked to be pushed back a year? As in, you were going to be a 5th year, but at your review they said you needed to be held back and stay as a 4th year? If so, what did you do? Is that a sign you are being mommy-tracked?

I was a big law partner and this means at least what it looks like: your performance is not on par with your peers and you’re being held back. May or may not relate to mommy-trackedness. This is a difficult burden to overcome.

[Anonymous]

I switched practices within the firm so I joined the particular practice late. Because of that, they think I need more time to learn the practice. Thoughts? Why would that mean getting fired?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kids are affecting your ability to work, you need more childcare. I’ve known lawyers who have an Au pair plus nannies. However if you’re about to be fired, I wouldn’t wait for an AP as they’re hard to get right now. I’d figure out what you need to do to keep your job.

Wow. Would it ever occur to you to ask if OP's work is affecting her ability to parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I switched practices within the firm so I joined the particular practice late. Because of that, they think I need more time to learn the practice. Thoughts? Why would that mean getting fired?

It means it’s not going particularly well. If it were as simple as you’re saying they would have done that when you switched, not at review time.

[Anonymous]

Not worth it op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not worth it op.

+1. In house or small to medium sized firm that has a more flexible work environment

[Anonymous]

OP, in order for us to help you tell us your 5 year plan. Are you just socking away $$ before exiting to gov or are you going to try and make partner? I am a former big law associate who left for gov.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: did any big law moms get asked to be pushed back a year? As in, you were going to be a 5th year, but at your review they said you needed to be held back and stay as a 4th year? If so, what did you do? Is that a sign you are being mommy-tracked?

I don't know that it's a bad sign, OP, but it's certainly not a good sign. What reasoning did they give you?

I was given the option and declined, which I regret honestly. Big law is up and out. They are giving you more runway which you'll need either way. You are not in the same place as a dude who didn't gestate a baby for 9 months and then take care of that baby fulltime for 6 months. If more men took long paternity leave it would be a different story.

[Anonymous]

Why did they ask you to be held back a year, if you don’t mind sharing? Seems like it was offered as a choice, which I also find interesting. After that point, did you feel like you caught up?

[Anonymous]

In academia getting an extra year to work for tenure is a good thing.