Wrong to not allow my teen DD to wear certain clothes

[Anonymous]

Is it wrong to tell my teen daughter not to wear things like crop tops and short shorts? Am I sending her the signal that something is wrong with her body? I am of the opinion you can wear a crop top or you can wear short shorts but not together. If you wear a crop top you better have on some pants, preferably baggy. If you wear short shorts, then have on a full shirt. But my neighbor said it sends the wrong message and is toxic parenting. Is she right?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what is right, but I have said that the fashion rule *I* learned was that you wear somethingfull on the bottom (roomier pants, etc.) if you are wearing something tight on top and vica versa.

[Anonymous]

Are you neighbors with a Kardashian?

Awesome!

[Anonymous]

I think it’s kind of weird that you are interfering with her fashion sense by telling her how to put together outfits. Presumably you’re fine with her clothes because they are allowed in your house.

And yeah I agree with your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

[Anonymous]

My DD is only 8 but I would not let her wear short shorts with a crop top out of the house. In fact I’d have a hard time with a crop top.

[Anonymous]

It is perfectly fine to parent according to your own family values. I can't thing of a single appropriate place for a crop top and short shorts other than maybe the beach. I don't care if we are talking about a boy or a girl. I would definitely let my own children know that we do not consider that to be appropriate attire. They are free to express themselves through clothes as long as the clothes are clean, reasonably modest, and don't have offensive sayings on them. People are simply afraid to parent these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is perfectly fine to parent according to your own family values. I can't thing of a single appropriate place for a crop top and short shorts other than maybe the beach. I don't care if we are talking about a boy or a girl. I would definitely let my own children know that we do not consider that to be appropriate attire. They are free to express themselves through clothes as long as the clothes are clean, reasonably modest, and don't have offensive sayings on them. People are simply afraid to parent these days.

How old are your kids? I think allowing kids to have freedom with clothing choices is OK.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s better to focus more on matching clothes to the situation-it’s easier to have no drama about school clothes or what to wear to grandma’s if you are more lax with ok clothes for the mall of a friend’s party.

[Anonymous]

Your neighbor is an idiot OP. It has nothing to do with your DDs budding sense of fashion

How about teaching your DD a tone of modesty in the way she dresses herself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is perfectly fine to parent according to your own family values. I can't thing of a single appropriate place for a crop top and short shorts other than maybe the beach. I don't care if we are talking about a boy or a girl. I would definitely let my own children know that we do not consider that to be appropriate attire. They are free to express themselves through clothes as long as the clothes are clean, reasonably modest, and don't have offensive sayings on them. People are simply afraid to parent these days.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

There’s a world of difference between a rule that says you can’t, hard stop, and a conversation that explains why the parent believes it’s not okay and while some people do and it’s fine, not in this house, hard stop.

OP, your rule is fine, but does your kid know why? Otherwise you risk having this conversation over every outfit in high school.

[Anonymous]

I’m on team neighbor. Don’t make your kid dress to prevent boys and men from being slimy asshats.

[Anonymous]

I personally don't have a problem with crop tops and shorts.
I'm also okay with piercings, "wild" hairstyles, and logos on clothing so long as they aren't offensive ( sexist, racist).

I may not love all their choices, but I'd rather they do it now as teens.

I also find that being fairly lenient in this department makes them feel less controlled and more willing to hear me out anc comply with more hardline stuff.