Wrong to not allow my teen DD to wear certain clothes
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Anonymous
+2 |
Anonymous
+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck. |
Anonymous
But of course those clothes ARE stylish among teens. That's the point. And they can be comfortable when it's hot out. I would personally not wear those clothes at my age, but pretending that the point is to seek male attention is both inaccurate and the same mindset that leads to victim-blaming when men attack women. |
Anonymous
This. My DD 11 got a lot of the ultra crop tops and wore them with shorts. I let it go but said it was not appropriate for school and when we went to see friends and made her change when she wore it. When she wore it other places i let it be. Occasionally i would just say that short top and shorts was not a good combination. Three months on shes over the short crop top phase and now wears regular clothes. There are bigger and better battles to be fought |
Anonymous
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I can't believe you cant figure this out for yourself. You don't need other people's approval for your parenting.
The bottom line is: we get different responses to people based on clothing. Its just how it is. If a man shows up to a job interview wearing aerobics shorts with his balls showing, its not going to work so well for him. Evenfor a job at a gym. Well, unless its a super special gym with specific clientele! Taking that extreme example and working backwards from there can be useful. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement. |
Anonymous
This. I was not raised this way, but it’s how I’m raising my daughters. They are welcome to wear sweats or crop tops or whatever as long as the clothing is appropriate to the occasion and the weather... and they are equipped to fend off pigs. |
Anonymous
| I suggest you spend more time thinking about WHO your daughter is than what she wears. |
Anonymous
No. She is wrong and you are right. Raise a strong daughter who is dressed appropriately. BTW, dress for the job you aspire to. Crop top and short shorts is go-go dancer or hooters waitress as far as I am concerned. |
Anonymous
DP - That's fine and all, but your use of the word prejudices seems a bit dramatic. Human nature is what it is and people have internal biases. Full Stop. I personally would not hire someone who has full face tattoos. You can try and shame me for that all you want, but whatever. It doesn't mean I think they don't deserve the job, or are an awesome and interesting person, but I still would not choose to have them in a client- facing position in my industry. I get you that you think you are empowering your kid, but do keep in mind that while they may have been given a "gift" there are absolute negative repercussions that can come with it. If having your own style is the hill you want your kid to die on, go ahead, but perceptions matter. If you don't get the job, the contract, get picked, given the chance, etc - call it whatever you want - because you want to wear what you want just be prepared for the consequences. You may not like it, but it is the way of the world. People will judge you based on all kinds of things - some you can control, some you can't - and act accordingly. For Example: I personally have not hired a realtor based partially on the fact that they had bright, long rainbow hair. Its fine that she had it, it was actually not "offensive" to me, but it definitely made me look at her as not quite professional enough for my needs. Someone else may hire her BECAUSE of her hair and think she's super cool and hip. But my point is, she lost the sale for my home due to a perception I had based on how she presented herself. And I can assure you she didn't "dodge a bullet" by not having me as a client. Maybe not the best example, but it's the first one to spring to mind. I actually think the issue of *children* wearing skimpy or sexy clothing to highlight their bodies is a much more important and potentially troublesome issue... but you don't need a license to parent, so you do you. |
Anonymous
The top one is beautiful and the 2nd one looks like Somebody cut off shirt from Goodwill |
Anonymous
What she wears is a reflection of how she chooses to present who she is to the rest of the world. Surely you know that, PP. |
Anonymous
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Eh, she might as well have fun wearing all that stuff now.
You might want to teach her how to dress when she needs to "dress up" and how to appear for school, church, eating out with adults, etc... Otherwise, she may as well have fun now. As an adult, there are very few times to wear crop tops and shorts. |
Anonymous
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Yes I do find this kind of management of her body to be inherently misogynist. I mean if something is clearly inappropriate for the venue I’ll say something, but I would step back. Esp as all the girls dress like this, this is the style.
Don’t you all remember the extreme low rise jeans we all wore? Lol |