Wrong to not allow my teen DD to wear certain clothes

[Anonymous]

A lot of this depends on the age I'm more strict about crop tops and things at 12-14 than say a 16.

I also think it depends on your reasoning, ie you can't dress this way because your body is for your husband or you might tempt boys, that's flat out wrong.

[Anonymous]

same situation with my dd. its the trend... ugh! over here we are trying not not make it about her or her body. we have focused the conversation on thinking about what is okay to ear in different places. As in, THAT might be okay if you are headed to the beach or pool, but need to wear something different to go to school, to the mall, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:same situation with my dd. its the trend... ugh! over here we are trying not not make it about her or her body. we have focused the conversation on thinking about what is okay to ear in different places. As in, THAT might be okay if you are headed to the beach or pool, but need to wear something different to go to school, to the mall, etc.

I was a teen in the 80s, the first time (or maybe the 2nd) that crop tops and short skirts/short shorts were in style. THat's basically the convo my parents had. Wear appropriate clothing for the event. Don't over dress or under dress, neither one is appropriate. You wouldn't wear the crop/shorts to school, and you wouldn't wear slacks and pumps to the pool. Or whatever. Made sense then, makes sense now.

Toxic parenting? GMAB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:same situation with my dd. its the trend... ugh! over here we are trying not not make it about her or her body. we have focused the conversation on thinking about what is okay to ear in different places. As in, THAT might be okay if you are headed to the beach or pool, but need to wear something different to go to school, to the mall, etc.

I was a teen in the 80s, the first time (or maybe the 2nd) that crop tops and short skirts/short shorts were in style. THat's basically the convo my parents had. Wear appropriate clothing for the event. Don't over dress or under dress, neither one is appropriate. You wouldn't wear the crop/shorts to school, and you wouldn't wear slacks and pumps to the pool. Or whatever. Made sense then, makes sense now.

Toxic parenting? GMAB.

It makes sense until you realize that what we wear to a pool etc was determined by the same people who have crop top in fashion and thus style and what is worn is fluid, it may not be easy but it's better to honest that your beliefs have to do with that girls/women should be covered up to prevent sexual harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s kind of weird that you are interfering with her fashion sense by telling her how to put together outfits. Presumably you’re fine with her clothes because they are allowed in your house.

And yeah I agree with your neighbor.

It's funny because OP and those in this thread who think like her are probably ready to lecture Muslim women on how they dress and call practices like the burqa so oppressive, not realizing they are subscribing to the same ideology.

[Anonymous]

I wish my mother had offered more guidance on how to dress appropriately- to let my beauty show without showing my lady bits show so much. Even if I changed in the car- like I’m sure so many teen girls do- I would have been aware of some guidance, known that someone cared, that there were alternatives. It would have been helpful knowing that love.

Your job is to offer guidance and reason, and even if your daughter resents you now, your love will be with her always.

Good luck! Glad I have only boys!

[Anonymous]

My girls wore those shorts that ended at the butt (like a bathing suit) I hated it but they outgrew that phase.

[Anonymous]

It depends how you send the message.

My father basically told me if I wore Jordache jeans and got raped it was my own fault.

I once wore a tight sweater that was v-neck with size A boobs and my dad called me a slut.

How do you actually talk about it?

Do you slut shame her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish my mother had offered more guidance on how to dress appropriately- to let my beauty show without showing my lady bits show so much. Even if I changed in the car- like I’m sure so many teen girls do- I would have been aware of some guidance, known that someone cared, that there were alternatives. It would have been helpful knowing that love.

Your job is to offer guidance and reason, and even if your daughter resents you now, your love will be with her always.

Good luck! Glad I have only boys!

Since when is your stomach your lady bits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends how you send the message.

My father basically told me if I wore Jordache jeans and got raped it was my own fault.

I once wore a tight sweater that was v-neck with size A boobs and my dad called me a slut.

How do you actually talk about it?

Do you slut shame her?

While what your father said is clearly wrong. And , I'm not saying this is what you're advocating, but so many go down they well you should respect yourself and cove up because you don't need to show it road which when you think about it isn't any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

I wore it because I like it. I thought It was cute. You have some seriously effed up notions, that you are passing on to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

I mean heels aren't comfortable either. DO you only wear them for male attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

You're assuming all girls that dress this way are heterosexual.