Wrong to not allow my teen DD to wear certain clothes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

No. It's a myth females dress to impress men, if they are looking for any outside affirmation it's to compete with other females.

Male attention, female attention, doesn't matter. It is still using your body to gain attention and affirmation.

+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck.

Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement.

Actually you make my point. When a girl wears extreme clothes because she wants other peoples' responses to it...that is not a strong, independent girl. That is a girl who is insecure and shallow. My girls will judge away, and they stay away from that train wreck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you spend more time thinking about WHO your daughter is than what she wears.

What she wears is a reflection of how she chooses to present who she is to the rest of the world. Surely you know that, PP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it wrong to tell my teen daughter not to wear things like crop tops and short shorts? Am I sending her the signal that something is wrong with her body? I am of the opinion you can wear a crop top or you can wear short shorts but not together. If you wear a crop top you better have on some pants, preferably baggy. If you wear short shorts, then have on a full shirt. But my neighbor said it sends the wrong message and is toxic parenting. Is she right?

Yes 100%

Stop it.

You are being absurb. Importance is on education and jobs. Clothing who cares???

Your daughter will rebel and it will be your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you spend more time thinking about WHO your daughter is than what she wears.

What she wears is a reflection of how she chooses to present who she is to the rest of the world. Surely you know that, PP.

No it doesn’t not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

No. It's a myth females dress to impress men, if they are looking for any outside affirmation it's to compete with other females.

Male attention, female attention, doesn't matter. It is still using your body to gain attention and affirmation.

+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck.

Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement.

Actually you make my point. When a girl wears extreme clothes because she wants other peoples' responses to it...that is not a strong, independent girl. That is a girl who is insecure and shallow. My girls will judge away, and they stay away from that train wreck.

Are we just talking about revealing clothes here, or are you really saying that girls who dress in non-mainstream ways are fair game for your little mean girls’ judgement?

[Anonymous]

I am betting the people arguing here are picturing completely different outfits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

No. It's a myth females dress to impress men, if they are looking for any outside affirmation it's to compete with other females.

Male attention, female attention, doesn't matter. It is still using your body to gain attention and affirmation.

+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck.

Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement.

Actually you make my point. When a girl wears extreme clothes because she wants other peoples' responses to it...that is not a strong, independent girl. That is a girl who is insecure and shallow. My girls will judge away, and they stay away from that train wreck.

Are we just talking about revealing clothes here, or are you really saying that girls who dress in non-mainstream ways are fair game for your little mean girls’ judgement?

Dp
Mean judgmental people are everywhere. I'm not condoning it, it just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am betting the people arguing here are picturing completely different outfits.

+ 1

Half the shirts in the stores right now are crop tops. They are boxy and almost reach the waist. With”mom shorts” and a boxy crop top, about one inch of skin is showing. NBD. My 15 year old only wants to fit in with the other girls.

[Anonymous]

My neighbors DD used to wear revealing clothes even as a tween. Mom would shrug and say "What can you do?". I kept thinking that the mom could stop it since she was paying for the stuff.

Found out that this little girl was hooking with teen boys for cash. People found out about it because of her myspace trainwreck. Anyways, she was dressing for the profession. Turned out she was also sexually molested as a small kid. Ah well! The world is not a safe and fair place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

No. It's a myth females dress to impress men, if they are looking for any outside affirmation it's to compete with other females.

Male attention, female attention, doesn't matter. It is still using your body to gain attention and affirmation.

+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck.

Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement.

Actually you make my point. When a girl wears extreme clothes because she wants other peoples' responses to it...that is not a strong, independent girl. That is a girl who is insecure and shallow. My girls will judge away, and they stay away from that train wreck.

Are we just talking about revealing clothes here, or are you really saying that girls who dress in non-mainstream ways are fair game for your little mean girls’ judgement?

Dp
Mean judgmental people are everywhere. I'm not condoning it, it just is.

Sure, but since we all know this is true, I’m having a hard time with PP’s claim that girls who don’t dress exactly the way society/Instagram/mommy tell them to are the strong, confident ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

No. It's a myth females dress to impress men, if they are looking for any outside affirmation it's to compete with other females.

Male attention, female attention, doesn't matter. It is still using your body to gain attention and affirmation.

+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck.

Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement.

Actually you make my point. When a girl wears extreme clothes because she wants other peoples' responses to it...that is not a strong, independent girl. That is a girl who is insecure and shallow. My girls will judge away, and they stay away from that train wreck.

Are we just talking about revealing clothes here, or are you really saying that girls who dress in non-mainstream ways are fair game for your little mean girls’ judgement?

Dp
Mean judgmental people are everywhere. I'm not condoning it, it just is.

Yes and it's quite sad that the majority of those judgmental people are grown wome in their 30s , 40s, an 50s, saying and thinking nasty things about a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My neighbors DD used to wear revealing clothes even as a tween. Mom would shrug and say "What can you do?". I kept thinking that the mom could stop it since she was paying for the stuff.

Found out that this little girl was hooking with teen boys for cash. People found out about it because of her myspace trainwreck. Anyways, she was dressing for the profession. Turned out she was also sexually molested as a small kid. Ah well! The world is not a safe and fair place.

How horrible for the girl! And how sad that you pin her being abused on what she was wearing. I can tell you right now girls being abused has nothing to do with their outfits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unwise of you to limit her because by doing so you invest clothing with more importance than it otherwise would have. You also deny her the chance to connect consequences with choices. If she goes out skimpily dressed she will likely receive lots of unwelcome attention that she will have to decide how to handle. Let that process naturally unfold. Clothing selection for Western teens is a critical part of identity formation.

Ew, let your teen be sexually harrassed so she can figure out her fashion style.

Ew! Blaming women and girls for the toxic behavior of men and boys!

Isn't the point of wearing short shorts and crop tops together at once to gain male attention? It isn't as if they are comfortable or stylish. Wearing provocative clothing sends a signal. While it obviously isn't an invitation for sexual harassment, it is a cry for attention.

No. It's a myth females dress to impress men, if they are looking for any outside affirmation it's to compete with other females.

Male attention, female attention, doesn't matter. It is still using your body to gain attention and affirmation.

+1 And that is not the type of daughters we want to raise in our household. We want strong, independent girls and women, not girls and women who judge themselves based on the attention they get from others according to how they dress. Yuck.

Yet, you judge others and ascribe motive to others based on what they're wearing. That's not how you raise strong, independent women who make choices based on their preferences rather than their fear of judgement.

Actually you make my point. When a girl wears extreme clothes because she wants other peoples' responses to it...that is not a strong, independent girl. That is a girl who is insecure and shallow. My girls will judge away, and they stay away from that train wreck.

Are we just talking about revealing clothes here, or are you really saying that girls who dress in non-mainstream ways are fair game for your little mean girls’ judgement?

Dp
Mean judgmental people are everywhere. I'm not condoning it, it just is.

Sure, but since we all know this is true, I’m having a hard time with PP’s claim that girls who don’t dress exactly the way society/Instagram/mommy tell them to are the strong, confident ones.

^^ sorry, I meant to say “girls who dress...” not “girls who don’t dress...”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you spend more time thinking about WHO your daughter is than what she wears.

What she wears is a reflection of how she chooses to present who she is to the rest of the world. Surely you know that, PP.

+1

And Op;s daughter is a teenaged girl and her outfit says she's a teenaged girl. Any other judgments that people like you make s a reflection of yourself, your insecurities, and misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My neighbors DD used to wear revealing clothes even as a tween. Mom would shrug and say "What can you do?". I kept thinking that the mom could stop it since she was paying for the stuff.

Found out that this little girl was hooking with teen boys for cash. People found out about it because of her myspace trainwreck. Anyways, she was dressing for the profession. Turned out she was also sexually molested as a small kid. Ah well! The world is not a safe and fair place.

Ah, the always reliable anecdata! And so timely, with the Myspace reference.