Holding kids back (June/July/August bday)?

[Anonymous]

Any personal experience being held back or pushed forward with summer birthdays? Looking for long-range views. Do the top schools skew older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any personal experience being held back or pushed forward with summer birthdays? Looking for long-range views. Do the top schools skew older?

My kid has a summer birthday and is 13 in 7th grade. He got teased for being "so old" in the lower grades, which was annoying, but the older they all get, the less often it happens. Academically and socially, he fits in just fine with his classmates -- and most of them turned or are turning 13 this year anyway.

And hey, he'll be the first in his group to turn 21 in college.

[Anonymous]

As a daughter of a young freshman, yes the schools do generally skew older. I think in retrospect there’s no harm in holding back and more risks in pushing ahead.

[Anonymous]

We gave our June 28th baby “the gift of a year,” and she was still never the oldest in any class at a Big 3. Yes, the skew older. Lots of Mays and Junes who wait. I was glad we did.

[Anonymous]

My DS had a summer bday and was also a preemie. When he turned 5 at the end of June, I had him start PreK instead of K and it was the best decision I ever made. He really benefitted from the extra year...both socially and academically and I never regretted having him start late. He graduated from HS in 2020 and was much more ready to take on the challenges of college than he would have otherwise been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any personal experience being held back or pushed forward with summer birthdays? Looking for long-range views. Do the top schools skew older?

My kid has a summer birthday and is 13 in 7th grade. He got teased for being "so old" in the lower grades, which was annoying, but the older they all get, the less often it happens. Academically and socially, he fits in just fine with his classmates -- and most of them turned or are turning 13 this year anyway.

And hey, he'll be the first in his group to turn 21 in college.

I’m confused. Wouldn’t a summer birthday make him young for the grade?

[Anonymous]

We held our fall child back as we got pressured to. It was a huge mistake and child skipped a grade to make up for it. Youngest in the class, doing well and prefers being in the grade he is in. I cannot imagine academically being in a lower grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any personal experience being held back or pushed forward with summer birthdays? Looking for long-range views. Do the top schools skew older?

My kid has a summer birthday and is 13 in 7th grade. He got teased for being "so old" in the lower grades, which was annoying, but the older they all get, the less often it happens. Academically and socially, he fits in just fine with his classmates -- and most of them turned or are turning 13 this year anyway.

And hey, he'll be the first in his group to turn 21 in college.

I’m confused. Wouldn’t a summer birthday make him young for the grade?

They held him back. My child will turn 12 in 7th and 13 in 8th.

[Anonymous]

We sent on time for our boy who has a mid-summer birthday. At our school, a Big 3, it is about half and half. For every kid red-shirted, there is a kid sent on time. Talk to your child's teachers and pediatrician and then decide what's best for your child.

And, fwiw, both of this child's parents have summer birthdays and one of us went on time and the other was red-shirted, so there was much discussion on this issue... our son is thriving and we believe we made the right choice for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any personal experience being held back or pushed forward with summer birthdays? Looking for long-range views. Do the top schools skew older?

My kid has a summer birthday and is 13 in 7th grade. He got teased for being "so old" in the lower grades, which was annoying, but the older they all get, the less often it happens. Academically and socially, he fits in just fine with his classmates -- and most of them turned or are turning 13 this year anyway.

And hey, he'll be the first in his group to turn 21 in college.

I’m confused. Wouldn’t a summer birthday make him young for the grade?

They held him back. My child will turn 12 in 7th and 13 in 8th.

What?!

No. My April Bday went on time. Cutoff in our County was Sept. 30th. He started K at 5. He turned 13th in 7th this month which is the norm. We have been to countless 13-year old parties. The kids with Fall bdays (oct-dec) were 13 at beginning of 7th. We held his brother with a September bday back and he turned 13 that month in 7th.

[Anonymous]

Much more long range outcome, but I started early with a December birthday and graduated high school with lots of friends and at the top of my class. In this area people tend to hold back, but I'd base it on who your child is and if he/she is ready.

That said, raising kids now, the adage about boys being slower to mature has definitely been true in our world, so a boy I'd be more open to holding back regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS had a summer bday and was also a preemie. When he turned 5 at the end of June, I had him start PreK instead of K and it was the best decision I ever made. He really benefitted from the extra year...both socially and academically and I never regretted having him start late. He graduated from HS in 2020 and was much more ready to take on the challenges of college than he would have otherwise been.

I wish we had done that with our summer birthday DS. He ended up having learning issues and had to repeat a grade later on which was not great.

[Anonymous]

Our DCs' BDs are in middle of school of year, one before and one after January 1. Their Big 3 school had a number of summer BDs - believe nearly all of these BDs were younger than our DCs not older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any personal experience being held back or pushed forward with summer birthdays? Looking for long-range views. Do the top schools skew older?

B/SIL moved and had their early September BD son repeat K at school in new state. The early years seemed fine for him, but the last few years of HS, the parents complained a lot that his friends were not as mature as him...with no acknowledgement or insight that he was a year and, in a few instances, two years older than his friends and classmates. If parent/s make this decision, please bear in mind a maturity gap may emerge and there's no blame on the part of the "less mature," but is a consequence of the decision to redshirt a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Much more long range outcome, but I started early with a December birthday and graduated high school with lots of friends and at the top of my class. In this area people tend to hold back, but I'd base it on who your child is and if he/she is ready.

That said, raising kids now, the adage about boys being slower to mature has definitely been true in our world, so a boy I'd be more open to holding back regardless.

Had a childhood friend with an October BD and school district cut off was September 30 - we started K together. If my mom and I had a quarter for every time the mom or daughter told us how unfair it was that she was not in her "right" grade, I could've paid for all my books for at least the first few years of college. She was a very good student, but she wasn't in the top math track and did not graduate at the top ten of our class in her "wrong" grade," so I could never figure out what was the issue.