Holding kids back (June/July/August bday)?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Our son has a Spring birthday. We held him back when he transferred schools. Prior to the transfer, he was an excellent student. He will be graduating in a month from eighth grade at the age of 15. He will be 19 when he graduates from high school. It was the best thing we ever did for him. Although our son plays sports, we did not held him back for that reason. Rather, the opening for the school he transferred to was for the same grade he completed and our only option to matriculate. |
Anonymous
| We have two kids. One August bday and the other October. We sent them both on time. Two totally different experiences. The October kid had a much easier time with school. Ironically, both had very similar IQs so intelligence wasn’t it. As PP stated, it’s all about executive functioning. Wish we would have waited to send the August kid. O’well. |
Anonymous
Your kid will be driving as a freshman and buying cigarettes as a junior? I’m glad it’s worked out for your family, but that’s just wow. |
Anonymous
|
We're in Baltimore where "Pre-First" is an actual class in many schools, so you can send your kid on time to K, then do Pre-First, then move on to First.
Our summer birthday child didn't do Pre-First and it was the correct choice for our child, who is currently a senior in high school, had fantastic college admission results, and has been one-foot-out-of-the-door towards college since last summer. Holding DC back would have been a mistake. However, if we had held DC back, DC would have had different experiences and those might have resulted in a child who was also in exactly the right place. I suspect that's the typical result. Whatever decision you make is likely to turn out just fine, because you'll be raising the child you have, dealing with the experiences the child is dealing with, and supporting them through them. I know that doesn't help. I told myself, when we decided to skip the extra year for our child, that if needed there would the opportunity to repeat a year in middle school, or high school, or taking a gap year before college. There has never been a need or a desire for any of those things. Would I like to have DC home for another year? Absolutely! But it would be for me, not for DC. DC's ready to conquer the world. |
Anonymous
| Flip side, my June kiddo started K after turning 5. There were 2 or 3 others who like her didn’t turn 6 til after the school year. I can’t imagine holding my kiddo back - maybe because of older siblings she was totally “ready” when she started K and we’ve never once wished we held her back (years later). |
Anonymous
|
We have two spring birthday kids.
We started them both on time. Both have kids more than a year older than them in their grades. Kids with drivers licsenes in 9th grade, bar mitzvahs in 6th etc. I cannot imagine having a 19 year old high school student under my roof. They would be bursting at the seams to get out and be much more rebellious than kids normally already are. Plus, the message I would have sent to my kid, "sorry deal, I didn't think you would be able to be on par with your peers so I gave you the gift of an extra year so you could compete with a younger cohort" Yes, THAT is a winning message. |
Anonymous
Spring is obviously different from summer. Late June, July, and August kids won't turn 18 while they are in high school. |
Anonymous
|
August birthday here. We sent our son on time because he was ready developmentally/academically. Hit a few speed bumps in middle school. It all came together in high school.
In the early years of youth sports we had several parents suggest we redshirt for athletic reasons. We never did and that worked out too. 4 year student athlete in college. I think it is a hard choice in the moment. I’d probably lean redshirt for most kids given it seems stressful to be a student these days. |
Anonymous
| We did this for our son (July). He is doing well going into MS. We have no regrets and are glad we took the advice of his pre K teacher to hold him back. |
Anonymous
+1. There is too much credit given to the "hold them back" side and not enough emphasis on the realization that your kid will be bigger, older and too far ahead of his peers. We have a mid June boy who we sent on time. When he was really young, it was an advantage to him to push himself to keep up with the kids who were 6 or 9 months older. Now that they are all in middle school, there is no difference at all. |
Anonymous
+1. Graduating from high school at 19? 15 years old in the 8th grade? I can't imagine that being a good scenario. |
Anonymous
My held back July child will be 18 throughout senior year, turning 19 the summer before college. |
Anonymous
In my area, it's pretty standard for July/August kids especially boys to take that extra preschool year (June much less so). Once my son asked why he was held back. I said "You were a late summer birthday so we had the choice" and he replied, "Yup, like Jack and Billy and Kyle." |
Anonymous
Exactly. Do people not understand how school cutoffs work? My DS with a late August birthday and his best friend are 2 weeks apart, but his friend was born in early September. Senior year, his friend will turn at the beginning of the school year. If I had held my DS back, he would turn 18 the week before senior year. Basically no difference. Instead, he's waiting for things that the rest of his classmates can do, like getting a vaccine that most of his classmates are already eligible for. How do people not understand this? |
Anonymous
|
OP, don’t listen to anyone whose kids aren’t in private school. It’s completely different in public, and yet I bet half the advice you’ve read is from public school parents.
My July birthday kid isn’t even close to being the oldest in his class. He will be 18 when he graduates. Most kids will be fine either way, but at independent schools I would strongly recommend following whatever their advice is, which is usually to redshirt. |