Holding kids back (June/July/August bday)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone has to be the youngest in a grade. But when parents do this vanity "gift of time" then it skews, and then others do it, and pretty soon, you have a kindergarten class full of 6 year olds.

WTF, that is a crazy race to the bottom.

What happened to the badge of honor of kids skipping grades and graduating high school at 16 or 17?

19/20 year old college freshmen? That is insanity.

truth..dont' like it but true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not hold back and started pre-K at 4 in public which worked out very well: We applied to a bunch of private middle schools (not in this area but in New England) for this fall and most recommended that DS repeat middle school due to Covid (no school for a year, only private tutors over zoom) and the lack of rigor at his previous schools. So he will be 14 in 7th grade which is what we wanted for him too.

These schools have a large boarding component and many kids are repeating grades due to the pandemic so he won’t be an outlier either

My son will start 7th at age 11 and turn 12 in 7th. 14 is very old for the grade.

DS went to 7th at 12 but is repeating 7th at 14 due to Covid. Like I said, he applied to schools with a large international boarding component which skews older. It isn’t unusual for them to have 16 yr old 9th graders even without the pandemic. His first choice school, we contacted when DS was 10 for 6 grade and were told he would be too young for the grade at 11 yrs old: Literally the youngest and shortest.

The schools have excellent secondary school placement into the top prep schools (Exeter, Andover, etc) in the country so they must be doing something right.

DS is actually ready for calculus with his private tutoring but math acceleration has never been a priority and he can always go more in-depth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think it's weird if you start your senior year of HS already 18.

My kid has an early September birthday that usually falls before Labor Day and before the start of school. He will be 18 his entire senior year and was not redshirted. The kids don’t really pay that much attention except if it’s an election year and a few of them can vote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not hold back and started pre-K at 4 in public which worked out very well: We applied to a bunch of private middle schools (not in this area but in New England) for this fall and most recommended that DS repeat middle school due to Covid (no school for a year, only private tutors over zoom) and the lack of rigor at his previous schools. So he will be 14 in 7th grade which is what we wanted for him too.

These schools have a large boarding component and many kids are repeating grades due to the pandemic so he won’t be an outlier either

My son will start 7th at age 11 and turn 12 in 7th. 14 is very old for the grade.

DS went to 7th at 12 but is repeating 7th at 14 due to Covid. Like I said, he applied to schools with a large international boarding component which skews older. It isn’t unusual for them to have 16 yr old 9th graders even without the pandemic. His first choice school, we contacted when DS was 10 for 6 grade and were told he would be too young for the grade at 11 yrs old: Literally the youngest and shortest.

The schools have excellent secondary school placement into the top prep schools (Exeter, Andover, etc) in the country so they must be doing something right.

DS is actually ready for calculus with his private tutoring but math acceleration has never been a priority and he can always go more in-depth.

I don't get this at all. You held your kid back several times and put a priority on boarding schools vs. academics. My 6th grader is taking Algebra. Holding your kid back makes no sense and if they need that extensive of tutoring maybe its not the right placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think it's weird if you start your senior year of HS already 18.

My kid has an early September birthday that usually falls before Labor Day and before the start of school. He will be 18 his entire senior year and was not redshirted. The kids don’t really pay that much attention except if it’s an election year and a few of them can vote.

The kids pay attention more than you realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think it's weird if you start your senior year of HS already 18.

My kid has an early September birthday that usually falls before Labor Day and before the start of school. He will be 18 his entire senior year and was not redshirted. The kids don’t really pay that much attention except if it’s an election year and a few of them can vote.

The kids pay attention more than you realize.

NP. My fall bday teen who was not intentionally redshirted (and has jumped back and forth over the line depending on where we lived and the school cutoff) is now a junior in HS. He has told me before that his age just wasn't that big a deal over the years.

Now, I'm not saying DCUM's crazy parents with their stalker spreadsheets tracking other kids birthdays aren't keeping close track, and God knows what those weird creepers teach their poor kids. But to normal kids? It's just not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think it's weird if you start your senior year of HS already 18.

My kid has an early September birthday that usually falls before Labor Day and before the start of school. He will be 18 his entire senior year and was not redshirted. The kids don’t really pay that much attention except if it’s an election year and a few of them can vote.

The kids pay attention more than you realize.

NP. My fall bday teen who was not intentionally redshirted (and has jumped back and forth over the line depending on where we lived and the school cutoff) is now a junior in HS. He has told me before that his age just wasn't that big a deal over the years.

Now, I'm not saying DCUM's crazy parents with their stalker spreadsheets tracking other kids birthdays aren't keeping close track, and God knows what those weird creepers teach their poor kids. But to normal kids? It's just not a big deal.

Your kid wasn't held back or redshirted so that is not a child we are talking about. Its the February to end of August kids where it is an issue. We have a September child. We choose to have him go at age 5 rather than wait till 6 and he's glad we pushed him ahead.

When kids have birthdays, its very clear.

And, yes, there are crazy parents keeping spread sheets. I didn't think it was real until I was sitting waiting for my child at sports practice and overhead several mom's talking about it and where all the kids are on it.

If you child is in private, its no big deal. If your child is in public, it can be a big deal but September kids mainly don't have a choice except if parents pay for a private or kids test in. My logic was I'd rather pay for private K than another year of pre-k and if needed, we could repeat K elsewhere but it wasn't necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think it's weird if you start your senior year of HS already 18.

My kid has an early September birthday that usually falls before Labor Day and before the start of school. He will be 18 his entire senior year and was not redshirted. The kids don’t really pay that much attention except if it’s an election year and a few of them can vote.

The kids pay attention more than you realize.

NP. My fall bday teen who was not intentionally redshirted (and has jumped back and forth over the line depending on where we lived and the school cutoff) is now a junior in HS. He has told me before that his age just wasn't that big a deal over the years.

Now, I'm not saying DCUM's crazy parents with their stalker spreadsheets tracking other kids birthdays aren't keeping close track, and God knows what those weird creepers teach their poor kids. But to normal kids? It's just not a big deal.

Your kid wasn't held back or redshirted so that is not a child we are talking about. Its the February to end of August kids where it is an issue. We have a September child. We choose to have him go at age 5 rather than wait till 6 and he's glad we pushed him ahead.

When kids have birthdays, its very clear.

And, yes, there are crazy parents keeping spread sheets. I didn't think it was real until I was sitting waiting for my child at sports practice and overhead several mom's talking about it and where all the kids are on it.

If you child is in private, its no big deal. If your child is in public, it can be a big deal but September kids mainly don't have a choice except if parents pay for a private or kids test in. My logic was I'd rather pay for private K than another year of pre-k and if needed, we could repeat K elsewhere but it wasn't necessary.

PP here. No, my kid was definitely redshirted, just not intentionally. We moved in between preschool and K and he went from behind the cutoff (not redshirted) to ahead of it (redshirted) due to different school cutoffs. He is a fall bday. It's been awhile but I think the original cutoff was Sept 1 or something like that and the new cutoff was around Nov. 30. So, he went from not redshirted to redshirted. Then, later, he was unredshirted when we moved again.

My teen has been in both public and private and it has really never been an issue. I mean I'm not going to say that DCUMs insane anti-redshirt birthday spreadsheet creepers didn't catalog him at some point, but the normal kids with normal parents didn't care and age was just not a big deal in DS's school experiences.

[Anonymous]

Our oldest has a late Sept birthday - I don’t consider him red-shirted - though others do. He was a preemie and if I had known how much I would debate the right thing to do over the years, I would have tried to hold out for another 72 hours. I also have twins in MS who are a late summer bday. They both went on time. One is immature for age and has LD and likely would be better with younger peers. DH and I are also split. I was a 17 year old at the start of college and he 19 - both did fine.
IMO:
1) the best decision is dependent on the child
2) there are pros and cons whether DC is oldest or youngest in grade
3) you won’t know what is best when you have to make the decision, because...
4) the answer re: what is ‘best’ may change over the course of DC 16 years of education
5) make the decision for your DC and let others do the same

[Anonymous]

Just do it and don’t look back. You won’t regret it. We did it for our son (April birthday), and it’s the best thing we ever did for him. He thrived academically, socially and, yes, athletically (for those who have to ask).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not hold back and started pre-K at 4 in public which worked out very well: We applied to a bunch of private middle schools (not in this area but in New England) for this fall and most recommended that DS repeat middle school due to Covid (no school for a year, only private tutors over zoom) and the lack of rigor at his previous schools. So he will be 14 in 7th grade which is what we wanted for him too.

These schools have a large boarding component and many kids are repeating grades due to the pandemic so he won’t be an outlier either

My son will start 7th at age 11 and turn 12 in 7th. 14 is very old for the grade.

DS went to 7th at 12 but is repeating 7th at 14 due to Covid. Like I said, he applied to schools with a large international boarding component which skews older. It isn’t unusual for them to have 16 yr old 9th graders even without the pandemic. His first choice school, we contacted when DS was 10 for 6 grade and were told he would be too young for the grade at 11 yrs old: Literally the youngest and shortest.

The schools have excellent secondary school placement into the top prep schools (Exeter, Andover, etc) in the country so they must be doing something right.

DS is actually ready for calculus with his private tutoring but math acceleration has never been a priority and he can always go more in-depth.

I don't get this at all. You held your kid back several times and put a priority on boarding schools vs. academics. My 6th grader is taking Algebra. Holding your kid back makes no sense and if they need that extensive of tutoring maybe its not the right placement.

We held kid back ONCE for COVID. He was homeschooled for 8th grade with private tutors due to the pandemic and parent health issues. He was not red shirted either with an August birthday and started K at 5. He is also an excellent student before and during COVID especially in math.

Since he lost a year due to COVID, we want him to repeat and it’s actually very common for this fall with the schools he applied to. He was accepted by all but chose his first choice school that we contacted when he was 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although many have sad before it depends on the kid. Its still hard to know the kid at such a young age.

I have an end of May child.

It’s ridiculous to hold a child back whose birthday is end of May or June do that matter. These parents need to get a grip.

+100000

I’ve never heard of holding back a May or June child! Go on time people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone has to be the youngest in a grade. But when parents do this vanity "gift of time" then it skews, and then others do it, and pretty soon, you have a kindergarten class full of 6 year olds.

WTF, that is a crazy race to the bottom.

What happened to the badge of honor of kids skipping grades and graduating high school at 16 or 17?

19/20 year old college freshmen? That is insanity.

truth..dont' like it but true

Again, no redshirted kid born in June, July, or August will be 20 as a freshman. Under normal circumstances, these kids graduate at 17, September birthdays turn 18 at the beginning of their senior year and 19 at the beginning of freshman year. Most students are 19 during their freshman year of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone has to be the youngest in a grade. But when parents do this vanity "gift of time" then it skews, and then others do it, and pretty soon, you have a kindergarten class full of 6 year olds.

WTF, that is a crazy race to the bottom.

What happened to the badge of honor of kids skipping grades and graduating high school at 16 or 17?

19/20 year old college freshmen? That is insanity.

truth..dont' like it but true

Again, no redshirted kid born in June, July, or August will be 20 as a freshman. Under normal circumstances, these kids graduate at 17, September birthdays turn 18 at the beginning of their senior year and 19 at the beginning of freshman year. Most students are 19 during their freshman year of college.

Noble, but DCUMs antiredshirt posters can't do math and they lack capacity to understand what you wrote.

[Anonymous]

Mid August birthday. In K child was a year behind most kids in the class. Emotionally on another level and struggled with some concepts. Our private school brought us in to discuss what they were seeing. They recommended our child repeat because they believed the child would always be playing catch up. We struggled with the decision but decided to regrade. That was 10 years ago and we could not be happier with the decision. Our child is one of the oldest in the class, a leader, great grades and dual athlete. Self confidence through the roof. We had to go through a stage in ES where our child thought they were not smart because of the regrade. By MS this began to fade. We are all very happy with the decision.