40-yr-old husband makes $125,000

[Anonymous]

I make more, but spouse does lion's share of cooking and also is very hands-on with our kids while everyone is remote and while I'm working.

Would this salary unnerve you? Would you try to re-calibrate to allow spouse to make more? I am second-guessing everything based on a comment my cousin said during a cousins zoom about how much it costs to save for college, retirement, etc. We are very open in my family about salaries, life, anything, and I said how much he made and she said, "Well, I'm sure he can look for a higher-paying job after the pandemic."

It was not a mean thing, she didn't intend it that way, she was being supportive but realised how it came out and walked it back. But now I'm left with her words in my ears wondering if he's in some kind of low-paying job (he has an MBA but works on the business end of an engineering firm).

If you had a spouse who made this much (and was very family-focused) would the numbers unnerve you? We live in a HCOL suburb, etc, with two kids who will go to college in 10 yrs. Maybe this is a money forum question but it feels more family-focused as I am now feeling nervous about DH/my choices...which have sometimes cropped up but to hear someone verbalise it made it hit home if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Unnerve me? What? In my world $125k is an amazing salary

Live within your means

[Anonymous]

ROLLING MY EYES SO HARD AT YOU, OP.

What a privileged little witch you are.

[Anonymous]

What field is he in? Btw, this is why I don’t discuss salary with family or friends.

[Anonymous]

It makes me sad that people who are as stupid as OP make too much money for their own good, LOL

[Anonymous]

He's a great father, takes care of the house, and makes a decent salary. Can I trade DH's with you?

Seriously, if your concern is saving enough for college, there are plenty of calculators online for this.

[Anonymous]

I would be unnerved if my spouse were trashy enough to speak about me like this.

[Anonymous]

This is absurd, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why....are you talking to your cousins about how much money your spouse makes? That is really bizarre, and I am super close with my cousins. You need some boundaries with your family, lady.

[Anonymous]

Don’t go looking for problems in your marriage. Your DH sounds amazing.

[Anonymous]

If a man was posting this about his wife, he would be absolutely roasted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes me sad that people who are as stupid as OP make too much money for their own good, LOL

I feel that way a lot on this forum

[Anonymous]

This belongs in the money and finances forum, right?

[Anonymous]

Unnerve me? That's a perfectly fine salary, and if you can't deal with it, walk before you make the poor man miserable with your wanna-be-richness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man was posting this about his wife, he would be absolutely roasted

She’s getting roasted...