40-yr-old husband makes $125,000

[Anonymous]

Meh. My dh makes that much and i make more. We are happy, have enough for everythibg and are real partners in life and childrearing. Id rather dh make that and be home at 4 everyday to spend time with me than double and have more stress and we never see him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unnerve me? What? In my world $125k is an amazing salary

Live within your means

OMG, same here. Some of my family live on $50k per year or less.

[Anonymous]

OP: Affording college:

My uncle worked as a parking lot attendant at Univ of Penna so his kids could go for free if they got in. They did. Then he went back to his regular job when they graduated.

My coworker quit her regular job and worked as a custodian at Univ. of Maryland so her 3 kids could go for free to College Park. (all 3 in college at the same time!) When the last one graduated, she went back to being a bilingual legal secretary again.

My niece is now 24 and about to start at UCLA. She waited til her parents' income no longer counted on the application. She is getting fantastic scholarships, as she spent the last 5 years working in her intended field for little money but getting relevant experience.

You gotta be strategic in your college planning. Most people in this country - yes in the U.S. -- do not make anywhere near 125K.

Thank goddess I went to Georgetown in the 80s when tuition/fees (and maybe housing? don't remember) was about 7K. That is 22K in today's dollars. But the tuition today is about 70K. Best to find other avenues to finance college. Don't be a sucker and pay anywhere near that amount.

[Anonymous]

OP and her cousins are disgusting in so many ways. I just can't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make more, but spouse does lion's share of cooking and also is very hands-on with our kids while everyone is remote and while I'm working.

Would this salary unnerve you? Would you try to re-calibrate to allow spouse to make more? I am second-guessing everything based on a comment my cousin said during a cousins zoom about how much it costs to save for college, retirement, etc. We are very open in my family about salaries, life, anything, and I said how much he made and she said, "Well, I'm sure he can look for a higher-paying job after the pandemic."

It was not a mean thing, she didn't intend it that way, she was being supportive but realised how it came out and walked it back. But now I'm left with her words in my ears wondering if he's in some kind of low-paying job (he has an MBA but works on the business end of an engineering firm).

If you had a spouse who made this much (and was very family-focused) would the numbers unnerve you? We live in a HCOL suburb, etc, with two kids who will go to college in 10 yrs. Maybe this is a money forum question but it feels more family-focused as I am now feeling nervous about DH/my choices...which have sometimes cropped up but to hear someone verbalise it made it hit home if that makes sense.

Well to be fair to OP, reading the 'Jobs and Careers' section when people post their salaries, I feel inadequate and I make as much as your DH but then I remind myself that I live in the DC metro area, and there are lots of high earners here (big law partners, tech sales, people with family money). You need to keep things in perspective.

[Anonymous]

OP is why I don’t like people.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for OP's husband. And the cousin is a bitch.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for your husband. And your kids, too, given that they are also exposed to your crap values.

You have a loving, involved husband who pulls his weight around the house, who earns a six-figure income, and you're insecure because your shallow cousin made some offhand comment.

[Anonymous]

Well, my DH makes 350K and also helps with cooking, house and kids. I am a SAHM and I have my own money also. I guess if you become a SAHM and help your husband to really lean in (like I did at one point) he can get more credentials and get a better job that makes this kind of money.

Of course, I don't discuss my finances with my cousins and we have 2 kids. If I had 3 kids and it was a 2 working parent household, I think things would be tight. Any chance you can divorce the low earner and start again? It must be humiliating to have cousins with high HHI and then be stuck with a low earning husband. Do they think poorly of you and your low HHI family?

[Anonymous]

How high achieving are your kids? If you have super achievers and they have the brains (genetics) and the drive (nurture) then their education is almost free in state schools. Of course they also need steller essays and EC activities. You have to decide.

[Anonymous]

OP, first thing is that finances, sex life, medical condition, state of marriage, personal details is not something you discuss with family, friends etc.

You frankly sound dumb. Your husband was insulted by your cousin and you just took it? I would never let anyone insult my husband like this even if he was making minimum wages as long as he was doing honest work.

You are utterly shallow. I feel bad for your husband and your kids. Actually, I feel bad for even the people who employ you because you are an immature and shallow person with not too much brains.

[Anonymous]

Unbelievable!

I have two Master's degrees, am older than 40, and make FAR less than $125K. If my husband is "unnerved" by how little money I make, he can stuff it, and you should do the same!

Is your husband a good person?
Is your husband contributing to society either by raising children or working?
Is your husband helping raise your children to be good people?
Does your husband feel fulfilled by what he does?
Are you able to survive?

If you can answer YES to the above questions, you are lucky to have him.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are in our 40s. He makes about $125K and I make about 2/3rds of that. We know we are fortunate and we're grateful for what we have. I also suspect this is a troll post because it's SO absurd, but if not... OP, you would benefit from some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Troll score: 9/10- look at how much of a reaction you got!

Excellent work!

[Anonymous]

OP you could always go make more money if you think you need more. Why is it his problem?