40-yr-old husband makes $125,000

[Anonymous]

You and your cousin are witches. I feel sorry for anyone married into such a family.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I make $120K as the wife — you must think I’m such a loser.

DH makes twice as much as me and doesn’t seem to have a problem with my salary.

I wouldn’t have a problem if our employment situations were reversed. You frankly sound like you’ve internalized sexist stereotypes about how much a man is supposed to make.

[Anonymous]

Masters, of course

[Anonymous]

This post makes me really sad. Is your husband satisfied and fulfilled by his job? Does that matter to you? It sounds like he's pulling most of the household and child care weight, which has a significant value. Maybe your salary is the problem - if you're able to do so much work uninterrupted while he takes care of everything, maybe you should go out and find a better paying job.

$125k is a great salary. I make a little more and my husband makes around $90k range and we both have master's degrees. People send their kids to college making a lot less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man was posting this about his wife, he would be absolutely roasted

She’s getting roasted...

Yay equality

[Anonymous]

Gross.

Something I often think when I see posts like this on DCUM is how ridiculous it is that so many people flip out about where their kid goes to college and how to pay for college, while demonstrating values that indicate they don't value education or intelligence AT ALL.

My DH has an Ivy League degree and makes less than 125k, in his 40s, because he has spent his entire career using his degree in the public sector to make the world a little better. His work is tangibly important and makes it possible for society to function (he works in public infrastructure). I've never thought to want him to get a higher paying job, which would almost certainly be less directly valuable and also likely less rewarding for him, because I'm not a Grade A b**ch.

If our DC is academically inclined enough to go to an competitive university, we will figure out how to make it happen financially and we will encourage her to use that education to make a difference in the world. Because that's the whole point. If she just wants to make a lot of money, why bother investing in a top notch education? Lots of people get wealthy doing stuff like selling cars or developing real estate or something. And who cares where someone with a job like that went to school? What could they possibly learn at Harvard or Stanford or some elite SLAC that would help them?

So OP: who cares? If all you care about is status and money, skip the expensive education and just focus on $$$.

[Anonymous]

Anyone else think troll? This post is just so tone dead and used a salary high enough to cause derision, but just low enough to seem remotely plausible

[Anonymous]

OP this is such a rude question, please get a grip of yourself.

[Anonymous]

divorce and get yourself one of those big law husbands DCUM loves to brag about so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you sound very insecure if you didn't have any money troubles before that call and one shitty comment could have you running to the internet to see if your husband is worthy of respect.

This all day long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else think troll? This post is just so tone dead and used a salary high enough to cause derision, but just low enough to seem remotely plausible

Of course its a troll post. I assume most of these ridiculous posts are. But its cheap entertainment.

[Anonymous]

I hope you’re trolling us, op, because if this is real, well, I have no words. At least, no words that won’t get my post banned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make more, but spouse does lion's share of cooking and also is very hands-on with our kids while everyone is remote and while I'm working.

Would this salary unnerve you? Would you try to re-calibrate to allow spouse to make more? I am second-guessing everything based on a comment my cousin said during a cousins zoom about how much it costs to save for college, retirement, etc. We are very open in my family about salaries, life, anything, and I said how much he made and she said, "Well, I'm sure he can look for a higher-paying job after the pandemic."

It was not a mean thing, she didn't intend it that way, she was being supportive but realised how it came out and walked it back. But now I'm left with her words in my ears wondering if he's in some kind of low-paying job (he has an MBA but works on the business end of an engineering firm).

If you had a spouse who made this much (and was very family-focused) would the numbers unnerve you? We live in a HCOL suburb, etc, with two kids who will go to college in 10 yrs. Maybe this is a money forum question but it feels more family-focused as I am now feeling nervous about DH/my choices...which have sometimes cropped up but to hear someone verbalise it made it hit home if that makes sense.

You are nuts. 125k is 87th percentile for salary in the US.

[Anonymous]

That's a great salary in almost any area of the country, except very high COLA cities. If you're worried about college, fix your budget so you can survive on just one income, and save every penny of the other--for college, retirement, future layoffs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make more, but spouse does lion's share of cooking and also is very hands-on with our kids while everyone is remote and while I'm working.

Would this salary unnerve you? Would you try to re-calibrate to allow spouse to make more? I am second-guessing everything based on a comment my cousin said during a cousins zoom about how much it costs to save for college, retirement, etc. We are very open in my family about salaries, life, anything, and I said how much he made and she said, "Well, I'm sure he can look for a higher-paying job after the pandemic."

It was not a mean thing, she didn't intend it that way, she was being supportive but realised how it came out and walked it back. But now I'm left with her words in my ears wondering if he's in some kind of low-paying job (he has an MBA but works on the business end of an engineering firm).

If you had a spouse who made this much (and was very family-focused) would the numbers unnerve you? We live in a HCOL suburb, etc, with two kids who will go to college in 10 yrs. Maybe this is a money forum question but it feels more family-focused as I am now feeling nervous about DH/my choices...which have sometimes cropped up but to hear someone verbalise it made it hit home if that makes sense.

troll