Do most affairs eventually come out?

[Anonymous]

I’m in my thirties, so maybe I’m too young, but there have been no affairs in my social circle since college. I do know of some affairs, but it seems reading this forum, it’s super common. Do most affairs never come out then? Or is the spouse is tight lipped when they find out they’re partner cheated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my thirties, so maybe I’m too young, but there have been no affairs in my social circle since college. I do know of some affairs, but it seems reading this forum, it’s super common. Do most affairs never come out then? Or is the spouse is tight lipped when they find out they’re partner cheated?

Most don't come out, some are discovered but spouses keep it between them

They also start in mid 30s when babies come and are most prevalent at age 50 for men

[Anonymous]

No affairs that you know of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my thirties, so maybe I’m too young, but there have been no affairs in my social circle since college. I do know of some affairs, but it seems reading this forum, it’s super common. Do most affairs never come out then? Or is the spouse is tight lipped when they find out they’re partner cheated?

Honey you’re in your 30s. No affairs since college is nothing, truly. You are about to see some wild stuff go down in the next two decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No affairs that you know of.

+1

You would be surprised. Couples you never would expect.

It’s not something a lot of people tell even their closest friends to protect their kids and prevent gossip.

This is why the victims of affairs really suffer.

[Anonymous]

LOL they always come out.

[Anonymous]

40s/50s more common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No affairs that you know of.

+1

You would be surprised. Couples you never would expect.

It’s not something a lot of people tell even their closest friends to protect their kids and prevent gossip.

This is why the victims of affairs really suffer.

+2

[Anonymous]

Spouses that have found out often alert the other betrayed spouse when both cheaters are married.

Fun times.

And sometimes they do it months after discovery. Be prepared if your AP’s spouse found out. False sense of security if a few months go by and they haven’t notified them yet...

[Anonymous]

I think most affairs never come out. 30s is not when affairs typically happen. Try 40s/50s. Many couples stay together even if it comes out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouses that have found out often alert the other betrayed spouse when both cheaters are married.

Fun times.

And sometimes they do it months after discovery. Be prepared if your AP’s spouse found out. False sense of security if a few months go by and they haven’t notified them yet...

+1

The one that finds out always ends up telling the cheater’s spouse eventually

[Anonymous]

Also, this board isn’t representative (geography, more people with relationship issues etc.) and so be careful of generalizing based on what you read here.

[Anonymous]

Mine didn’t. Ended 10 years ago, so I think I’m safe. AP wasn’t found out either. I know of 5 others - all married, so 10 people total - that were never discovered. I do know of one that the spouse found out.

So in my experience, most are not discovered.

[Anonymous]

I know 4 of my close friends cheated, one got caught, assume the other 3 didn't. All still married.

Agree its more of a 40s or 50s thing

[Anonymous]

I don’t think most come out.