Do most affairs eventually come out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affairs devastate families and children.

They cause the victims mental trauma, PTSD, that can last a lifetime.

Shitty, f@cked up people have affairs. Something is wrong inside. It’s not answer for anything. It’s selfish and cowardly.

Some people are fantastic, devious little f@ckers so it might be a long time until they are caught. When they are, they quickly change their tune and throw their “lovah” under the bus because it was never love. It was enmeshment of two broken people in a fantasy world.

I’m in my 50s and do not know anyone personally that has had an affair or a marriage that blew up from an affair.

I think it’s a huge character flaw. You are a liar. Cheating=lying at the base level. It is morally corrupt.

This has been very true for me. In my 40s and never had a normal relationship after seeing my parent (mother) have multiple APs and often involve me in the deceit. The main affair came out but parents stayed together and once mother's "drive" settled down in her late 60s it has been a non-issue for them. DADT

Same here. Terrible. Big hugs to you

And get society always presents it as only man is this whorish and selfish. It’s especially damaging when it’s the mother doing this for psychological reasons and mothers expected relationship with child (not sexist point, proven biological/psychological).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people actually confess affairs to friends?

The married woman boning my husband did and discussed his c@ck and sex acts in detail.

They are proud of it. Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my thirties, so maybe I’m too young, but there have been no affairs in my social circle since college. I do know of some affairs, but it seems reading this forum, it’s super common. Do most affairs never come out then? Or is the spouse is tight lipped when they find out they’re partner cheated?

Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife had an affair with her tennis instructor. We were married for 18 years and she had an affair for 6 years before I found out.

Two of my ex-wife's friends had affairs, one with her boss and one with a coworker.

An acquaintance has an arrangement with a college student where he visits her a certain number of times a month and she gets paid a "stipend". Apparently there is a network to recruit and get into this arrangement. I do not think his wife knows.

A also know one coworker who is carrying on an affair in another city where we travel frequently.

Sugar Babies and Seeking Arrangement--the college girl is in reality a prostitute who goes by a fancy name of sugar baby

I’m in my mid twenties with friends that are very sex positive (some are involved polyamorous relationships/threesomes/BDSM) and I know no women who are sugar babies now or when I was in college. I doubt very many UMC college aged women do this often. It would be the women who are kind of trashy, obsessed with Instagram and luxury/material goods (but don’t have any safety net).

What age would you expect them to be doing it? They’re most popular between the ages of 18-24yo as a SB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife had an affair with her tennis instructor. We were married for 18 years and she had an affair for 6 years before I found out.

Two of my ex-wife's friends had affairs, one with her boss and one with a coworker.

An acquaintance has an arrangement with a college student where he visits her a certain number of times a month and she gets paid a "stipend". Apparently there is a network to recruit and get into this arrangement. I do not think his wife knows.

A also know one coworker who is carrying on an affair in another city where we travel frequently.

Heard about it but never knew anyone who actually did it. Scary thing for parents.

When our DD went off to college, DH brought this up with me. Seemed surprisingly aware of all the details

From what I learned it is not widespread. Maybe a few dozen per college.

A lot more than a few dozen, lol. Most of the girls who do this come from pretty well off families, and want to continue the
lifestyle while in college, or those that are heading into extreme amounts of debt (grad school) and want a mean to pay at least some of
it down while in College. My college had a few hundred SBs.

And then where are those who are career SBs that just matriculate into trophy wives. Not in college but their looks, and interesting hobbies got them far enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affairs devastate families and children.

They cause the victims mental trauma, PTSD, that can last a lifetime.

Shitty, f@cked up people have affairs. Something is wrong inside. It’s not answer for anything. It’s selfish and cowardly.

Some people are fantastic, devious little f@ckers so it might be a long time until they are caught. When they are, they quickly change their tune and throw their “lovah” under the bus because it was never love. It was enmeshment of two broken people in a fantasy world.

I’m in my 50s and do not know anyone personally that has had an affair or a marriage that blew up from an affair.

I think it’s a huge character flaw. You are a liar. Cheating=lying at the base level. It is morally corrupt.

This has been very true for me. In my 40s and never had a normal relationship after seeing my parent (mother) have multiple APs and often involve me in the deceit. The main affair came out but parents stayed together and once mother's "drive" settled down in her late 60s it has been a non-issue for them. DADT

Same here. Terrible. Big hugs to you

A mom’s affairs are much harder on the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people actually confess affairs to friends?

Some do. Some don’t. Not all sociopaths follow the same pattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife had an affair with her tennis instructor. We were married for 18 years and she had an affair for 6 years before I found out.

Two of my ex-wife's friends had affairs, one with her boss and one with a coworker.

An acquaintance has an arrangement with a college student where he visits her a certain number of times a month and she gets paid a "stipend". Apparently there is a network to recruit and get into this arrangement. I do not think his wife knows.

A also know one coworker who is carrying on an affair in another city where we travel frequently.

Heard about it but never knew anyone who actually did it. Scary thing for parents.

I went on a date with a woman who had such an arrangement in college. She was younger but out of college and hinted at a similar arrangement, which I was not interested in, though she still will like photos I post on social media. The one thing she said, and I believe her, is that the man she had an arrangement with treated her way better than her friends were treated by their college-age BFs.

Well if you think about it college guys are broke, often forget all of their home training, and have nothing to invest in a short
term college relationship most of the time. Thats why the likes of bumble and tinder have been made.

Theirs also the obvious time/$$$ trade off.

You get a on demand relationship for lots of $$$ VS. The full emotional/physical commitment for -$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people actually confess affairs to friends?

Some do. Some don’t. Not all sociopaths follow the same pattern.

+1 I know one person who got so BIG HEADED she called her husband her ‘baby daddy’ endlessly
on social media.

Her friend had to tell her what the connotations meant. I’m not sure if she was just that dumb, or didn’t care
for her spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people actually confess affairs to friends?

Some do. Some don’t. Not all sociopaths follow the same pattern.

+1 I know one person who got so BIG HEADED she called her husband her ‘baby daddy’ endlessly
on social media.

Her friend had to tell her what the connotations meant. I’m not sure if she was just that dumb, or didn’t care
for her spouse.

Some use them as their cover for their deceit. A weekend away with Laura is really with Jim.

A night out with girlfriends is a night out banging her affair partner.

If husband were ever to ask or check they have their whore friend’s back.

Gross behavior by all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people actually confess affairs to friends?

Some do. Some don’t. Not all sociopaths follow the same pattern.

+1 I know one person who got so BIG HEADED she called her husband her ‘baby daddy’ endlessly
on social media.

Her friend had to tell her what the connotations meant. I’m not sure if she was just that dumb, or didn’t care
for her spouse.

Some use them as their cover for their deceit. A weekend away with Laura is really with Jim.

A night out with girlfriends is a night out banging her affair partner.

If husband were ever to ask or check they have their whore friend’s back.

Gross behavior by all.

Ex-Husband’s AP was “visiting her friend in NJ/meeting her in NYC for the night” when she really took Amtrak to stay overnight with my husband while he was on a business trip in NYC. Had good cover for train trip and reason for staying in nyc.

[Anonymous]

^disgusting immoral whores tend to hang out together. You can tell a lot about someone by the friends they keep. Divorces and affairs tend to occur in clusters. People will look for people that validate their choices.

[Anonymous]

Most of the girls who do this come from pretty well off families, and want to continue the
lifestyle while in college, or those that are heading into extreme amounts of debt (grad school) and want a mean to pay at least some of
it down while in College. My college had a few hundred SBs.

I would expect a girl from a well-off family to “maintain her lifestyle” by calling her parents and asking for money, not by getting a side gig as a wh0re.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Most of the girls who do this come from pretty well off families, and want to continue the
lifestyle while in college, or those that are heading into extreme amounts of debt (grad school) and want a mean to pay at least some of
it down while in College. My college had a few hundred SBs.

I would expect a girl from a well-off family to “maintain her lifestyle” by calling her parents and asking for money, not by getting a side gig as a wh0re.

A lot of parents use college to learn some kind of financial independence, they’ll pay for the dorm, food, college ofc, and emergency credit cards but tighten up the purse strings.

I forgot one more group which is the children of immigrants they do really well(fetishization), but the gap just tend too big and often find themselves staying longer than their counter parts. I could write a whole paper on the subject.

The real hustlers sell their virginity to the highest bidders tbh, that’s a market within itself. With parents being obsessed with having their daughters wait, it’s hard to tell who these women are though. These women(US) almost immediately exit the SW tho, besides tho who try to resell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people actually confess affairs to friends?

Some do. Some don’t. Not all sociopaths follow the same pattern.

+1 I know one person who got so BIG HEADED she called her husband her ‘baby daddy’ endlessly
on social media.

Her friend had to tell her what the connotations meant. I’m not sure if she was just that dumb, or didn’t care
for her spouse.

Some use them as their cover for their deceit. A weekend away with Laura is really with Jim.

A night out with girlfriends is a night out banging her affair partner.

If husband were ever to ask or check they have their whore friend’s back.

Gross behavior by all.

Yeah I was a kid then, her “friend” was my aunt. She’d always tell her she didn’t

want to hear about her AP, she was disgusted. But never knew if she told her friends husband.