Do most affairs eventually come out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought about it but no affairs among my friends and we are mid 50s

Well, we just didn’t tell you about ours. Nobody would ever believe it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most affairs never come out. 30s is not when affairs typically happen. Try 40s/50s. Many couples stay together even if it comes out.

I disagree they don't happen in late 20s and 30s. I was traveling a lot for work in my 20s and 30s and it seemed like half the married and engaged were cheating on the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most affairs never come out. 30s is not when affairs typically happen. Try 40s/50s. Many couples stay together even if it comes out.

I disagree they don't happen in late 20s and 30s. I was traveling a lot for work in my 20s and 30s and it seemed like half the married and engaged were cheating on the road.

I found that people screw around at those ages, sometimes rampantly, but the affairs are much more common when people get older

[Anonymous]

The Falwells didn't think it would come out....

[Anonymous]

my first did. My second (with the same person) did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my first did. My second (with the same person) did not.

You are a lowlife. Why even get married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my first did. My second (with the same person) did not.

And this why after one affair, I’d be done with a relationship. No more trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my first did. My second (with the same person) did not.

And this why once a cheater, always a cheater. They just hide it better second time around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife had an affair with her tennis instructor. We were married for 18 years and she had an affair for 6 years before I found out.

Two of my ex-wife's friends had affairs, one with her boss and one with a coworker.

An acquaintance has an arrangement with a college student where he visits her a certain number of times a month and she gets paid a "stipend". Apparently there is a network to recruit and get into this arrangement. I do not think his wife knows.

A also know one coworker who is carrying on an affair in another city where we travel frequently.

You’ve got an interesting set of people around you. Lots of cheating around you. Is it work place acquaintances? If so, what job/industry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my first did. My second (with the same person) did not.

And this why once a cheater, always a cheater. They just hide it better second time around.

Not necessarily.

This cheater learned his lesson and never strayed. Karma came back and bit my ass and my partner left me, but it never occurred to me to cheat again after what I had gone through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my first did. My second (with the same person) did not.

And this why once a cheater, always a cheater. They just hide it better second time around.

Not necessarily.

This cheater learned his lesson and never strayed. Karma came back and bit my ass and my partner left me, but it never occurred to me to cheat again after what I had gone through.

I’ve heard similar. It’s so traumatizing for everyone in a long marriage. It’s hard to live with what a dirt ball you were at the time and you no longer can tell yourself that you are a decent person. Seeing the pain in a partner’s eyes and knowing you caused it forever changes (if you had a decent soul prior).

[Anonymous]

Woman here.
As others have said, most keep it quiet and either tell no one or just one other person.
None of my friends’ affairs or one night stands have come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here.
As others have said, most keep it quiet and either tell no one or just one other person.
None of my friends’ affairs or one night stands have come out.

Christ. You are a real winner. Hang around with a bunch of whores. You must be one too.

I’m 50 and none of my college girlfriends, work best friends of 20 years or childhood friend have cheated on their spouses. No divorces in my family.

Telling. You are who you hang out with. Studies show this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m waiting until her birthday to tell her husband. So pretty soon!

I like this.

“Your wife was f@cling my husband for 3.5 years...oh wish her a Happy 50th from me.”

9/6

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here.
As others have said, most keep it quiet and either tell no one or just one other person.
None of my friends’ affairs or one night stands have come out.

Christ. You are a real winner. Hang around with a bunch of whores. You must be one too.

I’m 50 and none of my college girlfriends, work best friends of 20 years or childhood friend have cheated on their spouses. No divorces in my family.

Telling. You are who you hang out with. Studies show this too.

Uhhh.... I read this as because 'most keep it quiet' she doesn't know about anyone's affair, but is assuming that some in her circle could very well be having affairs. She doesn't know. Her point is that people having affairs keep it quiet. As in, you seriously don't know if your college girlfriends, work best friends, or childhood friends have cheated on their spouses. Even if there are no divorces in your family, that doesn't mean there hasn't been an affair.