When is the most impactful age to SAHM?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| At what age/stage do you think it makes the most impact on your child's development to have you as a full-time caregiver? Let's say you could only do so for a couple of years, would it be when they are a baby? Toddler? Preschool age? |
Anonymous
| 0-3 for sure |
Anonymous
|
Probably early on.
I can tell you that my job is flexible enough that from PK4 onward, I never needed to use any sort of aftercare/nanny/help since I could leave by pickup/bus arrival time. |
Anonymous
Ehhh. I was raised by a SAHM and a dad who worked long hours/traveled for most of my childhood. I don’t have a ton of memories from those early years, but I had a good childhood and was generally happy, My dad became senior enough to drastically cut hours around the time I hit 8th grade. I then had a SAHM and very hands-on working dad for those bumpy teenage years when I skirted with falling into the wrong crowd. At the time I found it annoying that my parents constantly wanted to know who my friends are, always home so I couldn’t sneak friends over, attended all my extracurricular activities (e.g. swim meets, mock trials, etc.), and were just generally always around to my dismay during my teenage years. But now I’m so glad I had that level of parental involvement during those years. I’m a working mom, but have a fairly flexible job (WAH, flex hours, etc.), but if I’m going to take time out of the workforce it will be when my kids hit middle/high school. |
Anonymous
| I stayed home full time from birth to 2, flexed with DH so she was only in care for 30 hours a week from 2 to 5, and then flexed when she was school age so I was almost always home by the time she got off the bus. |
Anonymous
| middle school age |
Anonymous
| Middle school. |
Anonymous
My job is flexible enough that I will be home before my kids during the "bumpy teenage years." I would honestly say flexible jobs are the key here from the responses from other moms. Flexibility throughout your kids entire childhood allows you to be there when they need you most. I'd rather have 18 years of very flexible work than 2 years of SAHM followed by 16 years of not being available. |
Anonymous
| It probably depends on the child. |
Anonymous
I think *flexibility* is extremely important when your kids are middle school age (eg being home when they get home, having the time to be involved in their life, drive them and friends to activities, etc.) but staying home full time? Nah. |
Anonymous
For those saying middle school is that because it's when activities really begin to pick up and the shit hits the fan if your kid needs extra support or monitoring with academics or behavior/keeping of trouble? |
Anonymous
This. I have a 5th grader and 8th header. I am home at 3 every day (well, pre Covid.). Kids get home at 3:30. Why do I need to be home beyond that?! I can definitely see the argument that late ES/MS/HS is the most important time to have a flexible job, but I’m just not buying that that’s the most important time to be a SAHM. |
Anonymous
This exactly. |
Anonymous
| Middle and high school. I am a SAHM. My husband starting in later elementary school works from home. Kids don't remember early years and as long as they are well cared for by a nanny and day care and have evening/weekend time and a strong connection to their parents they are fine. I was a day care kid. I would have been miserable if my mom stayed home as she didn't enjoy caretaking or being a mom. I think ours benefit more now as they are older from us being home, especially now with DL and not seeing friends in person. |
Anonymous
|
I have flex scheduling and can work from home some. DH has less flexibility but can work from home if he is not traveling.
As a result, one of us is pretty much always available after school. |