Weird situation with new neighbor from high school - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

Found the neighbor.

^^Found the bully.

Found the drama llama.

[Anonymous]

We pretty obviously have a lot of mean girl alumns on DCUM.

Not surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

OP's neighbor found the thread!

[Anonymous]

I think this woman is concerning.

OP said she doesn't remember this woman past a vague recollection. This woman ZEROED IN ON OP's KIDS and made a very bizarre allegation against their mom.

Not sure how you'd handle a loon like new neighbor. She sounds like a mental case. She's going to spread stories about OP all over the neighborhood, and no telling how far she might carry her campaign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this woman is concerning.

OP said she doesn't remember this woman past a vague recollection. This woman ZEROED IN ON OP's KIDS and made a very bizarre allegation against their mom.

Not sure how you'd handle a loon like new neighbor. She sounds like a mental case. She's going to spread facts and history about OP all over the neighborhood, and no telling how far she might carry her campaign.

Went ahead and fixed that typo for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm sorry you feel that way, I hope we can develop a better relationship now that we're neighbors!"

Here's a public service announcement:

DON'T EVER USE THIS PHRASE.

EVER.

TO ANYONE.

IT'S WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL OFFENSE.

NEVER SAY IT.

EVER.

Ok Crazy Lady. OP, say something like "I'm sorry I hurt you in high school. I hope we can develop a better relationship now that we are neighbors."'







But also, I can't be the only one that is freaked out that this lady somehow knew OP lived in her neighborhood, knew who OP's kids were, and knew which house she lives in and made her husband go over to talk to OP's husband. That is WEIRD and a little scary.

[Anonymous]

OP you were obviously horrible to this woman in high school and thought so little if her then that you don’t even remember her now. It’s cliche. Even the way you talk about her now makes you sound like a terrible mean girl. She was scarred by high school and people like you. Thinking about this from her perspective - she is probably freaked out the you are in her new neighborhood. I think you might want to consider how you mistreated this person and maybe apologize.

[Anonymous]

OP, were you a bully by any chance and now you have suppressed that memory?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this woman is concerning.

OP said she doesn't remember this woman past a vague recollection. This woman ZEROED IN ON OP's KIDS and made a very bizarre allegation against their mom.

Not sure how you'd handle a loon like new neighbor. She sounds like a mental case. She's going to spread facts and history about OP all over the neighborhood, and no telling how far she might carry her campaign.

Went ahead and fixed that typo for you.

Scary neighbor on. OP ignore and grey rock her

[Anonymous]

Write her a note.
"I am sorry that I had a negative impact on you in high school. If you would like to talk, I am hear to listen. Happy to try for a fresh start. Welcome to the neighborhood."
- Jenny

You not remembering doesn't mean it didn't happen..You seem more worried about your rep in the community than the fact that you could have really done damage to.someone during a vulnerable time.

I agree approaching your children is bad and not ok. If it was a one off thing to try and get your attention, bad but move on. If she keeps it up, you need to address it.

[Anonymous]

She obviously never got over High School & it seems that she must have been negatively impacted by your treatment of her back then.

If I were in your shoes - I would have a one on one direct talk w/her & just hear her out.
Then if you think she may have a point, perhaps apologize to her letting her know you were just a kid then and that you have definitely come a LONG way since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel bad for her, but approaching the kids is way out of bounds. I honestly would be a little scared of someone who did that before ever talking to me.

This is a good point. I missed it when reading OP's post. It is concerning that she spoke to children 1) about this, and 2) in this way. I think OP needs to have a talk with her kids about avoiding this woman. She really overstepped and seems to be a little off.

Honestly OP would be justified in contacting the police about this woman.

No, she would not be. The woman is super weird, but merely talking to someone’s children is not a crime, even if you don’t like what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Write her a note.
"I am sorry that I had a negative impact on you in high school. If you would like to talk, I am hear to listen. Happy to try for a fresh start. Welcome to the neighborhood."
- Jenny

You not remembering doesn't mean it didn't happen..You seem more worried about your rep in the community than the fact that you could have really done damage to.someone during a vulnerable time.

I agree approaching your children is bad and not ok. If it was a one off thing to try and get your attention, bad but move on. If she keeps it up, you need to address it.

This is not a bad idea (writing the note).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, were you a bully by any chance and now you have suppressed that memory?

They all do.

I ran into a former classmate from middle school, and as we reminisced I mentioned that another classmate was very ill with a life threatening diagnosis. Their response: “Good. He was such a bully. Don’t you remember how he tormented me?” I didn’t…but I did remember how he tormented and bullied so many people himself. Apparently he didn’t recall any of it, and he felt very comfortable hoping our classmate who was in a coma at the time died. So weird that he didn’t remember anything he had done himself. He literally pontificated about being a good, kind person.

[Anonymous]

It never ceases to amaze me how so many full-grown adults are still not over high school. Making frequent references to high school (and college) is embarrassing. Who you were back then should not remotely reflect who you are now. If it does, there's a stunted growth problem.