Weird situation with new neighbor from high school - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

Found the neighbor.

[Anonymous]

I would really like to know some specifics about what I did to her. I would listen sincerely. If she has concrete examples, apologize but don't make a big deal out of it. Be the bigger person going forward, but if she continues to be a jerk, just ignore her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

Found the neighbor.

Or found the truth. Be a jerk in high school and think that it all just gets washed away. Then face reality.

[Anonymous]

I would take the high road and apologize once. If she keeps it up, she is only embarrassing herself. It would be one thing to pull you aside and mention you did not treat her well. But to trash you to your kids is truly awful. You were a teenager when you did whatever you did to her. She is a grown ass woman who should know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

Found the neighbor.

Or found the truth. Be a jerk in high school and think that it all just gets washed away. Then face reality.

OP was, at best, cold to this person, who has now specifically sought out OP's children to tell them that OP was mean. That happened NOW, not however many years ago high school was. This woman should be accountable for her behavior happening now before OP is accountable for this woman's perception of her behavior that happened 20+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How small is this town?

OP here- the one we grew up in was regular-sized, I guess. 2,000 in our high school. You recognized every kid as "that's a kid from my school" but maybe didn't know all their names.
In this town? Probably about the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take the high road and apologize once. If she keeps it up, she is only embarrassing herself. It would be one thing to pull you aside and mention you did not treat her well. But to trash you to your kids is truly awful. You were a teenager when you did whatever you did to her. She is a grown ass woman who should know better.

Agree. OP, you might have done something that really scarred this person. Just say that if there is anything you did in high school that wasn’t nice that you are sorry that you behaved that way and that you hope you can have a friendly, neighborly relationship now that you are neighbors. If she keeps this up, she’s going to get shunned by everyone around her, so it’s to her benefit to move on.

[Anonymous]

If you do apologise have someone from the neighborhood with you when you do it. I would avoid being alone with her for a bit yet.

[Anonymous]

Remember the Steve Buscemi character in Billy Madison who he bullied?

https://hero.fandom.com/wiki/Danny_McGrath

I'd apologize and hope that you're no longer on the "kill list".

[Anonymous]

So she found out where you live, found out what your kids look like, and approached them while they were out riding their bikes and confronted them about perceived slights from 20 years ago? That’s stalker-like behavior. I’d communicate to her with a witness or in writing that if she has something to say to you she can do so, but she needs to stay away from your children.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. When I read OP's post I thought 1. It's so inappropriate to say something to her children and 2. even more inappropriate to keep bringing it up. She is making a fool of herself and is proving that it's difficult for socially awkward people to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm sorry you feel that way, I hope we can develop a better relationship now that we're neighbors!"

+1. And then I'd avoid her. She sounds like a lunatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

Found the neighbor.

Or found the truth. Be a jerk in high school and think that it all just gets washed away. Then face reality.

Like you were Little Miss Perfect in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do anything and be as gracious as you can when anyone mentions it. Something like “I don’t recall that we knew each other very well but I know high school can be tough and I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings somehow.”
No one who meets a woman like this is going to assume you did anything bad. They’re going to assume she was a little nuts then and is a little nuts now. Just be generous and gracious and don’t add to any gossip about it.

+1 The longer they know her the more nuts they will realize that she is. Be gracious, gracious, gracious. Then when the other people realize, they'll say something but continue to be gracious, gracious, gracious.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe you were just a mean girl in high school and the little people were invisible to you, therefore, you don't remember who you offended or care. It is interesting you care about this new neighbor's statements to others if it were, in fact, not true or you can't recall any of it. I think you are concerned what your neighbors think about you. I note your entry sentence, "We have lived in our home a long time and are well established here." Established is an interesting word to use. The lady doth protest too much, methinks...