What’s the dating scene like for a 39 year old, divorced dad of 2 kids

[Anonymous]

Your post is not clear. Were the men mortified to be divorced or mortified to date you? Or both?

Hi. You did not respond to this question.

Why are you so triggered by the idea that a young woman with her whole life ahead of her might not want a much older man with an ex wife and children? If you had a daughter who was, say, 27, maybe in med school, maybe a junior associate at a reputable law firm, maybe working toward a PhD, attractive, fit, interesting, and she told you that she was seeing a nearly forty year old man with two children, would you honestly be happy for her?

Why are you so hateful toward women who don't stroke your ego online?

Sort yourself out. It's pathetic.

Hi again. My daughter is 23 and in graduate school overseas. She is attractive, fit, and interesting. She dates whom she chooses based on who makes her happy. If she loved a forty-year-old man with two children, it would not alter my love for her. Same as if she dated a forty-year-old woman. The nice thing about adults is that they can make their own decisions.

I am more triggered by the fact that your reply was not funny. Please try again. Maybe go into more detail about the character you created (the junior associate or PhD candidate) you so plainly see as the woman you were. Is she in med school and a junior associate? You are almost there as far as fun posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Exactly. I remember dating in my late twenties and early thirties. I met a couple of successful, fit men around my age who were divorced after unwise starter marriages. They were mortified. I feel so badly for eligible young women now, having to weed through all these old divorced dads who think they have a chance.

We are all so glad you saved yourself for your cats and whomever you married in the gray twilight of your middle-age years. Now, you can look back (with the help of your meds) to courting in your twenties and early thirties when the world was new and fresh and full of men home from fighting the Great War.

Your post is not clear. Were the men mortified to be divorced or mortified to date you? Or both?

Why are you so triggered by the idea that a young woman with her whole life ahead of her might not want a much older man with an ex wife and children? If you had a daughter who was, say, 27, maybe in med school, maybe a junior associate at a reputable law firm, maybe working toward a PhD, attractive, fit, interesting, and she told you that she was seeing a nearly forty year old man with two children, would you honestly be happy for her?

Why are you so hateful toward women who don't stroke your ego online?

Sort yourself out. It's pathetic.

+1

Can you imagine your daughter calling to say “oh yeah I’m dating this great guy, can’t wait to see where it goes! Imagine if we get married! I will be saddled with his child support payments diminishing my household income and his other children reducing what we can provide for your future grandchildren. There will be court dates and baby mama drama and if we get married half the guests will be making bets about how fast it crashes and burns”

Just what every parent wants for their child.

[Anonymous]

Well, you can find statistics that show that divorced men remarry younger women, and I can find you stats that will show you that those marriages will crash and burn. Understand, boy?

Careful. I am a DP; however, I am a AA man and I would not accept being called "boy."

Think before you type.

[Anonymous]

+1

Can you imagine your daughter calling to say “oh yeah I’m dating this great guy, can’t wait to see where it goes! Imagine if we get married! I will be saddled with his child support payments diminishing my household income and his other children reducing what we can provide for your future grandchildren. There will be court dates and baby mama drama and if we get married half the guests will be making bets about how fast it crashes and burns”

Just what every parent wants for their child.

Wow. Please tell me how you know what every parent wants for their child. I want mine to be happy and she does not need me (or her mother) to make her chooses for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Well, you can find statistics that show that divorced men remarry younger women, and I can find you stats that will show you that those marriages will crash and burn. Understand, boy?

Careful. I am a DP; however, I am a AA man and I would not accept being called "boy."

Think before you type.

I was responding to an adult man who refers to adult women as girls, so I'm sure he has no problem with being called a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your post is not clear. Were the men mortified to be divorced or mortified to date you? Or both?

Hi. You did not respond to this question.

Why are you so triggered by the idea that a young woman with her whole life ahead of her might not want a much older man with an ex wife and children? If you had a daughter who was, say, 27, maybe in med school, maybe a junior associate at a reputable law firm, maybe working toward a PhD, attractive, fit, interesting, and she told you that she was seeing a nearly forty year old man with two children, would you honestly be happy for her?

Why are you so hateful toward women who don't stroke your ego online?

Sort yourself out. It's pathetic.

Hi again. My daughter is 23 and in graduate school overseas. She is attractive, fit, and interesting. She dates whom she chooses based on who makes her happy. If she loved a forty-year-old man with two children, it would not alter my love for her. Same as if she dated a forty-year-old woman. The nice thing about adults is that they can make their own decisions.

I am more triggered by the fact that your reply was not funny. Please try again. Maybe go into more detail about the character you created (the junior associate or PhD candidate) you so plainly see as the woman you were. Is she in med school and a junior associate? You are almost there as far as fun posts.

I wasn't trying to be funny, and I didn't answer your question because you were rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1

Can you imagine your daughter calling to say “oh yeah I’m dating this great guy, can’t wait to see where it goes! Imagine if we get married! I will be saddled with his child support payments diminishing my household income and his other children reducing what we can provide for your future grandchildren. There will be court dates and baby mama drama and if we get married half the guests will be making bets about how fast it crashes and burns”

Just what every parent wants for their child.

Wow. Please tell me how you know what every parent wants for their child. I want mine to be happy and she does not need me (or her mother) to make her chooses for her.

Because I assume we all want the best for our children. No parent I know thinks “the best” is the leftovers of a failed marriage and all the emotional, financial and social fallout of that marriage when they are starting their lives. Maybe you think that’s good enough for your daughter but I hope to raise mine with a greater sense of her own worth.

[Anonymous]

I was responding to an adult man who refers to adult women as girls, so I'm sure he has no problem with being called a boy.

How are you sure? You selected the word "boy" because you felt it was demeaning and that somehow you using the word evened the score for another poster calling women "girls."

There is a reason why racists called AA men boys.

Trust me. Calling me a "boy" would not even out a poster's anti-female bigotry. It would hurt me because of the manner in which men like me were shamed by a term that was used in the cruelest ways.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't trying to be funny, and I didn't answer your question because you were rude.

No, you were trying to be self-righteous. And you failed on both counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They are baggage. I am a woman and I also think the same. I have kids. Let's not be delusional thinking they aren't baggage. They are.

Hi there, mommy. Did your parents think you were baggage? They were right.

You prove it every time you give your kids the impression that they are not worth as much as the (likely many) men you are with on regular basis. Sadly, you are the baggage that your kids will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

No need to clutch any pearls here. If you think kids are baggage and you do not have any you are doing the world a favor by avoiding parenthood. The worst part is that your parents should have followed it.

What is wrong with you? I am not with any number of men on a regular basis. I do not even want to remarry. Kids are baggage in dating. It is reality. You do not seem to understand logic.

[Anonymous]

Because I assume we all want the best for our children. No parent I know thinks “the best” is the leftovers of a failed marriage and all the emotional, financial and social fallout of that marriage when they are starting their lives. Maybe you think that’s good enough for your daughter but I hope to raise mine with a greater sense of her own worth

I hoped you raised her to determine her own sense of self-worth, and to use this sense to make her own chooses. As opposed to being someone who makes chooses based on "social fallout" like, well, you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Because I assume we all want the best for our children. No parent I know thinks “the best” is the leftovers of a failed marriage and all the emotional, financial and social fallout of that marriage when they are starting their lives. Maybe you think that’s good enough for your daughter but I hope to raise mine with a greater sense of her own worth

I hoped you raised her to determine her own sense of self-worth, and to use this sense to make her own chooses. As opposed to being someone who makes chooses based on "social fallout" like, well, you.

I hope to raise her to be able to spell “choices” at least...

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you? I am not with any number of men on a regular basis. I do not even want to remarry. Kids are baggage in dating. It is reality. You do not seem to understand logic.

You did not have the guts to answer the question in the post. Did your parents tell you were baggage?

Do you tell your children they are baggage?

Are kids only baggage when a divorced mom (or dad) is trying to date? What about the children of someone who is widowed. Are her children baggage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wasn't trying to be funny, and I didn't answer your question because you were rude.

No, you were trying to be self-righteous. And you failed on both counts.

No, I spoke of my experience as a woman in my late twenties who would not have found a 39 year old divorced dad a catch. You were butthurt that I wouldn't have wanted this hypothetical man, and lashed out.
That's it.
Sod off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

It was very kind of you to respond to the poster who mansplained your own relationships to you

+1
And the contempt! 'crotch goblens'? My auto-correct won't even allow it. And the ridiculous assumption that a 43 y/o divorcee would give a rip about marriage, or would let herself be used!

Umm, you're quoting a woamn who jut posted that she felt used in her marriage.

I don't see those as contradictory. Live and learn. Marriage can still a bit of an exploitative set up and I can guess why she felt used (see all the threads on chores and all the threads on conjugal duties). She's the heck out of that, and it would be a ridiculous assumption to think all she wants out of life is to jump right back in.

Thanks. I am the poster who said I felt used. You get it. Someone else seems to find this unbelieveable, but I felt completely used in my marriage. It was not what I signed up for. It was not a normal relationship in anyway and lacked both love and respect. Hence, a divorce. I was used for being another source of income and used to make children (look up reproductive coercion) despite the agreement not to have kids before marriage. Literally, I was a wallet, uterus, and maid. And it was devoid of sex and affection except when he decided he wanted to impregnate me. So...yeah, I was totally used and would never ever get married again. Having a fun boyfriend who wants to be with me for ME and not what I can do FOR HIM and for HIS IMAGE is far better than marriage in my experience. I am happily single, which is a great relief from a horrible marriage I finally managed to get out of.

Thi is where this forum shows the psychos that vists.
It
I am the PP, not you. And I felt used in a completely different manner than you explained while trying to co opt my identity. You are a freak.

What!? I am the poster who said I felt used in my marriage. Maybe there were two who said the same thing. The above comments are mine. You are the one with a screw loose. No one is taking your identity. Ever think that maybe two of us felt used?