What’s the dating scene like for a 39 year old, divorced dad of 2 kids

[Anonymous]

I’d love to know the wife’s perspective on why they’re cold to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

They are baggage. I am a woman and I also think the same. I have kids. Let's not be delusional thinking they aren't baggage. They are.

+1, when I was single kids were an automatic dealbreaker. When you start a relationship with a dad you're not just involved with him, you're involved with him, his kids, and his ex. It will never just be the two of you. Of course you can have alone time, but if his kid's school calls when you're "alone" he's going to prioritize that (as he should, if he drops his kids for a new gf then he's also not a catch).

That also seemed like a lot of responsibility to take on in my twenties. I guess maybe it would be fine if it was just sex, but I don’t know a lot of single women in their twenties and early thirties who are looking for “just sex.”

Same. Also if looking for "just sex" it would have been some hot one night stand with some gorgeous Adonis of a surfing instructor in Bali, not a 40 year old divorced dad in NoVa...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

They are baggage. I am a woman and I also think the same. I have kids. Let's not be delusional thinking they aren't baggage. They are.

+1, when I was single kids were an automatic dealbreaker. When you start a relationship with a dad you're not just involved with him, you're involved with him, his kids, and his ex. It will never just be the two of you. Of course you can have alone time, but if his kid's school calls when you're "alone" he's going to prioritize that (as he should, if he drops his kids for a new gf then he's also not a catch).

That also seemed like a lot of responsibility to take on in my twenties. I guess maybe it would be fine if it was just sex, but I don’t know a lot of single women in their twenties and early thirties who are looking for “just sex.”

Same. Also if looking for "just sex" it would have been some hot one night stand with some gorgeous Adonis of a surfing instructor in Bali, not a 40 year old divorced dad in NoVa...

+1. Congrats to OP’s wife for almost getting rid of this loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Dude, the playing field is so not to your advantage right now. It is laughable that as a divorced middle-aged man with kids, you think you’re the height of attraction for women. I am sure it’s easy for you to get dates on dating apps, and this gives you the impression that you have unlimited options. But women too, have literally hundreds of options. The reality is that it’s difficult for anyone to find a meaningful relationship. But you were certainly are not some hot commodity now, so best to have some humility as you enter the dating market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

[Anonymous]

Kids as baggage? LOL.
Kids are a normal stage of life that makes one less available to romantic partners, less likely to put up with becoming a partner's mom/secretary, and less messed in the head from never having fulfilled that biological imperative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

It was very kind of you to respond to the poster who mansplained your own relationships to you

[Anonymous]

I’m a 52 year old divorced female with 2 kids in college. I make $165,000. My boyfriend is 45 years old. He makes $90,000. I don’t really care about what a man makes. I just want someone who treats me well.

[Anonymous]

Yawn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

It was very kind of you to respond to the poster who mansplained your own relationships to you

I really wish they’d hire a man to come up with a better term for this than mansplained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

It was very kind of you to respond to the poster who mansplained your own relationships to you

+1
And the contempt! 'crotch goblens'? My auto-correct won't even allow it. And the ridiculous assumption that a 43 y/o divorcee would give a rip about marriage, or would let herself be used!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

It was very kind of you to respond to the poster who mansplained your own relationships to you

+1
And the contempt! 'crotch goblens'? My auto-correct won't even allow it. And the ridiculous assumption that a 43 y/o divorcee would give a rip about marriage, or would let herself be used!

Umm, you're quoting a woamn who jut posted that she felt used in her marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

LOL. "never married" late 30s dudes are either gay, married, or just using you. If you think anyone believes that single, attractive, available 36 yo old men are going for 43 yo divorcees with the added hassle of a couple crotch goblens and an ex husband to deal with, then you're the definition of delusional.

I can assure you they are not gay or married. Who I have seen are married to their careers. They literally work 70+ hours a week. No one needs to deal with my kids or ex-husband. Not sure you understand....I am not looking to remarry. Having a fun boyfriend is perfectly fine for me. I felt very used in my marriage. I do not feel used now.

It was very kind of you to respond to the poster who mansplained your own relationships to you

I love the term mainsplained mostly because women use it themost to do exacatly what they accuse others of having just done. Yet, the irony is always lost on them.

[Anonymous]

It’s going to be fine. Divorce, take care of your kids by being an awesome dad, put your newfound positive energy into dating and you will find new life. My good friend from college (a woman) was recently divorced from a narcissist ahole and heartbroken but eventually was ready to date. She met a wonderful divorced man with two kids he was completely devoted to. My friend never wanted children of her own, but has been enjoying being a stepmom to these older kids. She is sometimes resentful that their birth mother does not pla6 much of a role in their lives and honestly a bit jealous of the dad’s affection for his kids, but I think it’s working out.