What’s the dating scene like for a 39 year old, divorced dad of 2 kids

[Anonymous]

Duuuuude. Slow the f down. Take a year to work on yourself. You aren't ready to date if you haven't been divorced for a while and spent much time reflecting on why that happened. Dont' inflict yourself on some unsuspecting woman.

[Anonymous]

You aren't even separated yet and this is what you're worried about?

Lol. Congrats to your wife for finally dumping you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Duuuuude. Slow the f down. Take a year to work on yourself. You aren't ready to date if you haven't been divorced for a while and spent much time reflecting on why that happened. Dont' inflict yourself on some unsuspecting woman.

Has it occurred to you that sometimes the divorce is the resolution of taking time to reflect on what's been happening?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he hasn't been laid in years.

Just don't get engaged or move in with anyone for a long time. There's no reason to get remarried unless you are dying to have more children, or want to expose yourself to more potential litigation and liability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children? Do you want more? Because the 20 something will want more kids that are HERS.

The late 30 something or 40 something woman may actually be an involved step-mother.

If you just want booty, I don't think it matters.

Please. This is DC. The late 30 something or early 40 something will definitely want kids that are HERS. You’d have to date late 40’s to 50’s to find women resigned to not having children of their own.

But the late 30's-40's women probably have their own. This has been said on other threads, but most men and women without children either want to have their own someday or are happily childfree and don't want to be in relationships with people with children. If OP is looking for a relationship, then his choices are start a second family (yuck) or find someone who already had her own kids and doesn't want more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children? Do you want more? Because the 20 something will want more kids that are HERS.

The late 30 something or 40 something woman may actually be an involved step-mother.

If you just want booty, I don't think it matters.

Please. This is DC. The late 30 something or early 40 something will definitely want kids that are HERS. You’d have to date late 40’s to 50’s to find women resigned to not having children of their own.

But the late 30's-40's women probably have their own. This has been said on other threads, but most men and women without children either want to have their own someday or are happily childfree and don't want to be in relationships with people with children. If OP is looking for a relationship, then his choices are start a second family (yuck) or find someone who already had her own kids and doesn't want more.

So I don’t think this is necessarily true. I’m 45 and childless and I date guys with kids. I’d like kids fine, I just don’t have the energy or desire to be a primary caregiver of kids. I guess ideally I would date someone who doesn’t have kids. But the reality is, at my age, there aren’t many guys like that. So I wind up dating divorced dads all the time. I am in a serious relationship with one right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

Yep, they are in the dating world. Clutch your pearls.

They are in every world. No one wants to deal with other people's hanger-on baggage kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

Yep, they are in the dating world. Clutch your pearls.

They are in every world. No one wants to deal with other people's hanger-on baggage kids.

You could’ve worded this more kindly, but basically, yes, nobody really counts it as a plus to have to deal with kids who aren’t their own.

OP, if you’re looking to date women with kids of their own, I think you’ll do fine. But most women without kids don’t want to date someone who has them, regardless of their or your age, and unless you’re unusually charming and/or rich, there’s no reason for them to lower their standards when there are so many men out there without offspring,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't even separated yet and this is what you're worried about?

Lol. Congrats to your wife for finally dumping you.

Right? This was my thought as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced 43 yo dad here with two daughters aged 13 and 10. Make 90k working at a wll known non profit, 5 ft 8, good shape, all my hair.

I've had my pick of the litter with any woman 35-40. Not interested in women older than I am, but I could have any of them if I wanted.

The playing field is 100% to your advantage right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wow. I am surprised by this, but good for you. Like you, the OP will do fine.
I am a divorced woman your age (look younger), same height as you, make a little more than you, with two kids younger than yours. I date never-married late 30s men. I don't date divorced men with kids in their 40s or older. I am not interested in remarrying. If I was, I would date divorced dads, but I'm not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children? Do you want more? Because the 20 something will want more kids that are HERS.

The late 30 something or 40 something woman may actually be an involved step-mother.

If you just want booty, I don't think it matters.

Please. This is DC. The late 30 something or early 40 something will definitely want kids that are HERS. You’d have to date late 40’s to 50’s to find women resigned to not having children of their own.

But the late 30's-40's women probably have their own. This has been said on other threads, but most men and women without children either want to have their own someday or are happily childfree and don't want to be in relationships with people with children. If OP is looking for a relationship, then his choices are start a second family (yuck) or find someone who already had her own kids and doesn't want more.

This. IF he is looking for a long-term relationship. If he just wants to date around and have fun, it really doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

They are baggage. I am a woman and I also think the same. I have kids. Let's not be delusional thinking they aren't baggage. They are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

They are baggage. I am a woman and I also think the same. I have kids. Let's not be delusional thinking they aren't baggage. They are.

+1, when I was single kids were an automatic dealbreaker. When you start a relationship with a dad you're not just involved with him, you're involved with him, his kids, and his ex. It will never just be the two of you. Of course you can have alone time, but if his kid's school calls when you're "alone" he's going to prioritize that (as he should, if he drops his kids for a new gf then he's also not a catch).

[Anonymous]

Depends on why you’re divorcing. “We’ve been cold to each other and done nothing to fix it” is as dysfunctional for a dating relationship as a marriage. Also depends on she and custody levels of the children, but you seem to assume you’ll have time on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single with no kids, looking for a nice divorced Dad. Unfortunately all the divorced Dad’s want to date 25 year olds, so if you’re willing to date someone your own age then you’re in luck!

Why would you want the baggage of someone with kids? Why not just find another childfree person to date?

So children are "baggage"? What a sweet sentiment.

They are baggage. I am a woman and I also think the same. I have kids. Let's not be delusional thinking they aren't baggage. They are.

+1, when I was single kids were an automatic dealbreaker. When you start a relationship with a dad you're not just involved with him, you're involved with him, his kids, and his ex. It will never just be the two of you. Of course you can have alone time, but if his kid's school calls when you're "alone" he's going to prioritize that (as he should, if he drops his kids for a new gf then he's also not a catch).

That also seemed like a lot of responsibility to take on in my twenties. I guess maybe it would be fine if it was just sex, but I don’t know a lot of single women in their twenties and early thirties who are looking for “just sex.”