On a safari, should I try to have a fling with the guide??

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you went for it. We were in safari for our honeymoon and one of the guides was so hot. They are so knowledgeable and in sync with nature and the surroundings, you can’t help but be turned on. Hope you went for it! And, Alaska girl, 👊🏻!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM, help me out here. Long story short, I’m an ngo development worker out in Africa somewhere and I’m staying in a totally deserted lodge for a few days. Like, only me and the small staff. And the guide is HOT. He’s taken me out for several drives and hikes at this point and our conversations are so fun, full of banter and flirtation. Some of the drives/hikes are only meant to be 2-3 hours but I can tell how he is stretching them out for longer (oh, let me just show you these interesting trees, only 20 min out of the way) so I think he is interested as well. Can I put the moves on him at some point or is that wildly inappropriate?

FWIW, I am a late 20 woman (he is the same age) and if he wasn’t interested I would back off immediately. What say you, DCUM??

Yeah cool. Go for it. So cool. Maybe bring him back to America too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I slept with the guide on an Alaska hiking trip (just moved into his tent for the duration after the first night) and it was great fun, great sex, and I got special treatment from the guide! Go for it!

LOL. How did the rest of the group feel about it?

They were all laughing at her.

PP back - the rest of the Alaska hiking group? The two other women in the group high fived me told me they loved it. If they were laughing behind my back, why would I care? Didn't know them, never going to see them again.

You must be a real fun sponge and have a sad and boring sex life.

[Anonymous]

This is sexual harrassment, and misuse of your position of power.

Imagine if the genders were reversed, and some guy was posting here that he wants to sleep with his female tour guide. Everyone would be denouncing him to kingdom come.

[Anonymous]

Gonorrhea, etc., do not think you are the first to have these thoughts, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No! You want to get a sexually transmitted disease from someone who has probably slept with many of the tourists he has taken to see the grove of trees 20 minutes out? He is using you. You will be another conquest for hi,... another notch on his belt. Have some self respect.

Who cares about self respect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No! You want to get a sexually transmitted disease from someone who has probably slept with many of the tourists he has taken to see the grove of trees 20 minutes out? He is using you. You will be another conquest for hi,... another notch on his belt. Have some self respect.

+1

As another long-time and current expat, just no. Terrible idea.

I hate that this is true, but when these things happen the Western woman is the one people laugh at and who usually ends up hurt or humiliated. (Lots of Western men find their first, second, third, and beyond wives this way).

How would OP end up hurt or humiliated by having a fling with a hot guy like this? She didn't say she'd like to have a fling then stay at the safari camp for the rest of her life as his wife - but oh no, he's got his eyes on the next dev worker coming through.

Well, first of all, we know two people who acquired STDs (despite condoms) sleeping with tour guide or professional boy toy type people in places like this. So that's the primary concern. But also, expat communities are small and mobile fishbowls, interconnected in ways you can't predict, and the gossip is concentrated and crazy. Almost every time we've moved to a new country, we've encountered colleagues who knew people we knew in other posts or even had people we worked with years ago suddenly pop up again. Everyone knows everything and nothing goes away, ever She'll talk or--worse--he will. Right or wrong, women who sleep with the tour guide types are regarded as pathetic, and I can't explain the reasons for that here because I don't have time, and also because I think you have to see it happen a few times to understand the dynamics of the situation. It's just a terrible idea.

I am the PP and have been an expat myself. And for the love of Pete if you can't handle some gossip about your "pathetic" flings when you're young and single, then you should go hide in a cave.

Maybe things have changed since I was living abroad, but in my time it was the people who'd moved overseas in a desperate attempt to hold onto their marriages who were most judgmental about the youngs having their fun.

Sure, if OP is sleeping with someone she is professionally involved with - yes, probably a bad idea. A safari tour guide? Unless her expat job is to rate safaris I cannot for the life of me see how some tongue wagging on the part of those who can't go f**k around anymore will "hurt" or "humiliate" OP.

OK fine STIs would be no fun. Sure. Fair. Who wants herpes.

[Anonymous]

Go for it, OP! I was an overnight kayak & canoe guide in the Pacific NW for a few summers after college in the 90s and we all counted on the bored city-dwelling/suburban women to make the nights fun. It was one of the guaranteed perks of the job! You only live once.

[Anonymous]

Totally random story but I was friends with an attractive male tour guide in India. He was married with a child but often felt like he was backed into a corner to sleep with female clients in order to receive the tips his income depended on. He said it was almost always russian divorcees and was clear pressure (vs them making a small overture to see if there was a positive response and if not still treating him with respect and tipping well). i was surprised b/c I'd never really pondered the way men can feel forced into unwanted sex, but when you're in a profession where your income depends heavily on what the customer reports that is an awful lot of pressure

so all of that is to say i think a small overture is fine (and would be fine for a male to do to a seemingly interested female guide also) but if its not enthusiastically reciprocated and escalated back way off. you do have a lot of power in this situation for someone that may be very dependent on the tips / income and very scared of a dissatisfied customer complaint

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure I've seen this porno in the "Blacked" series.

[Anonymous]

It would be unprofessional for him to take you up on the offer, so, if he actually agreed to it, I'd be worried about an STD. No condom would give me peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I slept with the guide on an Alaska hiking trip (just moved into his tent for the duration after the first night) and it was great fun, great sex, and I got special treatment from the guide! Go for it!

LOL. How did the rest of the group feel about it?

They were all laughing at her.

PP back - the rest of the Alaska hiking group? The two other women in the group high fived me told me they loved it. If they were laughing behind my back, why would I care? Didn't know them, never going to see them again.

You must be a real fun sponge and have a sad and boring sex life.

Guides count on this. Pay sucks. Lots of the clientele suck. Giving “special treatment” to easily impressed women tourists makes up for the crappier aspects of the job. Plus the guide will never see them again so what’s not like about the arrangement.

[Anonymous]

I call troll. Why would a 20-something single on safari in Africa reach out to a bunch of middle-age suburban moms for relationship advice? Sounds more like someone is daydreaming between their kids' naps and playdates...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I slept with the guide on an Alaska hiking trip (just moved into his tent for the duration after the first night) and it was great fun, great sex, and I got special treatment from the guide! Go for it!

LOL. How did the rest of the group feel about it?

They were all laughing at her.

PP back - the rest of the Alaska hiking group? The two other women in the group high fived me told me they loved it. If they were laughing behind my back, why would I care? Didn't know them, never going to see them again.

You must be a real fun sponge and have a sad and boring sex life.

Guides count on this. Pay sucks. Lots of the clientele suck. Giving “special treatment” to easily impressed women tourists makes up for the crappier aspects of the job. Plus the guide will never see them again so what’s not like about the arrangement.

Exactly - win/win! For both the guide and the tourist.

[Anonymous]

Aren't you worried about AIDS?
Use condoms for sure.