Reply to On a safari, should I try to have a fling with the guide??

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Reply to "On a safari, should I try to have a fling with the guide??"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No! You want to get a sexually transmitted disease from someone who has probably slept with many of the tourists he has taken to see the grove of trees 20 minutes out? He is using you. You will be another conquest for hi,... another notch on his belt. Have some self respect.[/quote]

As another long-time and current expat, just no.  Terrible idea.

I hate that this is true, but when these things happen the Western woman is the one people laugh at and who usually ends up hurt or humiliated.  (Lots of Western men find their first, second, third, and beyond wives this way).  [/quote]

How would OP end up hurt or humiliated by having a fling with a hot guy like this? She didn't say she'd like to have a fling then stay at the safari camp for the rest of her life as his wife - but oh no, he's got his eyes on the next dev worker coming through.[/quote]

Well, first of all, we know two people who acquired STDs (despite condoms) sleeping with tour guide or professional boy toy type people in places like this.  So that's the primary concern.  But also, expat communities are small and mobile fishbowls, interconnected in ways you can't predict, and the gossip is concentrated and crazy.  Almost every time we've moved to a new country, we've encountered colleagues who knew people we knew in other posts or even had people we worked with years ago suddenly pop up again.  Everyone knows everything and nothing goes away, ever  She'll talk or--worse--he will.  Right or wrong, women who sleep with the tour guide types are regarded as pathetic, and I can't explain the reasons for that here because I don't have time, and also because I think you have to see it happen a few times to understand the dynamics of the situation.  It's just a terrible idea.[/quote]

I am the PP and have been an expat myself. And for the love of Pete if you can't handle some gossip about your "pathetic" flings when you're young and single, then you should go hide in a cave.

Maybe things have changed since I was living abroad, but in my time it was the people who'd moved overseas in a desperate attempt to hold onto their marriages who were most judgmental about the youngs having their fun.

Sure, if OP is sleeping with someone she is professionally involved with - yes, probably a bad idea. A safari tour guide? Unless her expat job is to rate safaris I cannot for the life of me see how some tongue wagging on the part of those who can't go f**k around anymore will "hurt" or "humiliate" OP.

OK fine STIs would be no fun. Sure. Fair. Who wants herpes.
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