suspect DW is cheating - any value in getting PI to get proof?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.livesaymyers.com/adultery/

Thanks for being the only helpful response here. Most others seem to be biased at me being a man who has self respect to divorce a cheating wife. I will be contacting this lawyer for more advice.

Adultery does nothing to protect your asset all it does isow for a quicker divorce. You can thank our social justice liberal society for not punishing adulterers.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you want to know if she is cheating, ask to use her phone. More specifically, ask for the passcode for her phone while she and the phone are immediately next to you but she’s not currently using the phone. (That way she can’t hedge by plausibly saying “just a minute” while she completes a search or run off with it to the bathroom.) Her response, either way, in the initial two or three seconds will tell you everything you need to know.

[Anonymous]

OP, where are you: DC, MD or VA? In VA, adultery may have an impact on the distribution of assets, and probably would deny her any spousal support. Talk to a lawyer about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

Courts don’t care, but evidence from a PI especially if it is embarrassing can be powerful in terms of settlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

is cheating a no fault divorce? if adultery is proven? hence my question..

Op here .. would be nice if anyone in legal profession can chime in (we are in VA) .. of course I am also looking at getting legal advice but I feel like I need some answers now (weekend) and will only be torturing myself waiting till the weekday to talk to a laywer

If you’re so rich, pay for a consultation with a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

Courts don’t care, but evidence from a PI especially if it is embarrassing can be powerful in terms of settlement.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

Courts don’t care, but evidence from a PI especially if it is embarrassing can be powerful in terms of settlement.

Not for a woman married to deep pockets. She will fight for half. She won’t back down out of fear of adultery being leaked. Gimme a break.

“Of course I cheated! Dave was impotent.”

Easy to save face.

I think the op is just paranoid or projecting based on his own infidelity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

Courts don’t care, but evidence from a PI especially if it is embarrassing can be powerful in terms of settlement.

Not for a woman married to deep pockets. She will fight for half. She won’t back down out of fear of adultery being leaked. Gimme a break.

“Of course I cheated! Dave was impotent.”

Easy to save face.

I think the op is just paranoid or projecting based on his own infidelity.

She does not need to fight for half she’s entitled to half just for getting married and divorced—has nothing to do with cheating. The only thing financially dealing with cheating is spousal support if someone would get it or not. But with divorce—regardless of cheating—usually (unless they agree otherwise) get half of the assets accumulated during the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, chances are that if you put so much efforts and attention and money into making your marriage works when she came to you first you would not be here.
Maybe..

This is so wack. Women come here all the time and talk about their cheating husbands and the advice is so different. Why does it have to be HIS fault? You don't even know the story. There isn't 1/10 of the the empathy that's shown to betrayed women here.

We're blaming the victim now??

You’re so full of shit. Any thread started by a woman who was cheated on will see posts from people accusing her of getting fat and/or not putting out enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

You're so full of sh1t. At your income level, this is where you come for professional advice?

[Anonymous]

Only advice I have is, if you're still having sex, don't go down on her anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

Courts don’t care, but evidence from a PI especially if it is embarrassing can be powerful in terms of settlement.

Not for a woman married to deep pockets. She will fight for half. She won’t back down out of fear of adultery being leaked. Gimme a break.

“Of course I cheated! Dave was impotent.”

Easy to save face.

I think the op is just paranoid or projecting based on his own infidelity.

Cheaters have no shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. [i]or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?[b]

You're so full of sh1t. At your income level, this is where you come for professional advice?

to answer your question, she will get 50-50 of assets whether she cheated or not. Cheating does not affect 50-50 of assets like I said before it only affects spousal support if it can be proven and it’s very difficult to prove so basically no I do not think hiring a PI is worth it at all you should just go and start the divorce process if you want a divorce. It will be a 50-50 asset split of wealth accumulated during the marriage in any scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

Courts don’t care, but evidence from a PI especially if it is embarrassing can be powerful in terms of settlement.

The days when a man in a fedora broke down the door in the no-tell motel and burst in with a flashbulb equipped Rolleiflex to catch the meretricious spouse in the very act of adultery are long gone, if they ever existed. The standard is time and opportunity. No drama. Just testimony that they went someplace reasonably private together and were there long enough to “do it.” Maybe some video of a little PDA, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Because that's how the system works. You will pay alimony. No one cares if she cheated, only you.

He could possibly get out of alimony IF he can prove it. But it is difficult to prove and make the divorce MUCH more expensive. If it is over, the end result is the same. Just get out without spending a ton. IF he has irrefutable evidence, he might avoid paying alimony. He needs to see an attorney about his chances of proving it and avoiding alimony.

And it has to be proof of actual sex. The kind of stuff a PI would turn up (her going to a man’s house, eating lunch with him, driving around with him) won’t cut it.

Not true. See above.