suspect DW is cheating - any value in getting PI to get proof?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Because that's how the system works. You will pay alimony. No one cares if she cheated, only you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

She’s going to get half the house equity. Would you rather write a check to buy her out or take half the value out of her half of other assets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Because that's how the system works. You will pay alimony. No one cares if she cheated, only you.

He could possibly get out of alimony IF he can prove it. But it is difficult to prove and make the divorce MUCH more expensive. If it is over, the end result is the same. Just get out without spending a ton. IF he has irrefutable evidence, he might avoid paying alimony. He needs to see an attorney about his chances of proving it and avoiding alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Because that's how the system works. You will pay alimony. No one cares if she cheated, only you.

He could possibly get out of alimony IF he can prove it. But it is difficult to prove and make the divorce MUCH more expensive. If it is over, the end result is the same. Just get out without spending a ton. IF he has irrefutable evidence, he might avoid paying alimony. He needs to see an attorney about his chances of proving it and avoiding alimony.

And it has to be proof of actual sex. The kind of stuff a PI would turn up (her going to a man’s house, eating lunch with him, driving around with him) won’t cut it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Cheating has nothing to do with the house. One spouse can keep it if the other agrees and if you agree to buy the other out of the equity (or agree to less or agree to keep the house in exchange for less of something else). If she wants the house, she could buy you out of your half of equity (like a gift from family) or take less of other assets. It literally has nothing to do with cheating.

Most people sell the house and split proceeds. If you want to keep the house, you buy her out of her half of the equity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Because that's how the system works. You will pay alimony. No one cares if she cheated, only you.

He could possibly get out of alimony IF he can prove it. But it is difficult to prove and make the divorce MUCH more expensive. If it is over, the end result is the same. Just get out without spending a ton. IF he has irrefutable evidence, he might avoid paying alimony. He needs to see an attorney about his chances of proving it and avoiding alimony.

And it has to be proof of actual sex. The kind of stuff a PI would turn up (her going to a man’s house, eating lunch with him, driving around with him) won’t cut it.

PP here. I agree. It is nearly impossible to prove. Like I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to find out the three biggest name divorce lawyers in your area. You need to have meetings with all of them and explain the situation. That puts them in a conflict of interest situation if your wife tries to hire them. Worth the thousand or so you will be out to meet with people you don't end up using but screws her

This is a stupid tactic in a major metro area.

Very stupid and a waste of money. There are enough good lawyers in the area to go around.

Yes completely ridiculous. This is from a movie or tv show I recently watched but I can’t remember which one.

Tony Soprano did this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Because that's how the system works. You will pay alimony. No one cares if she cheated, only you.

He could possibly get out of alimony IF he can prove it. But it is difficult to prove and make the divorce MUCH more expensive. If it is over, the end result is the same. Just get out without spending a ton. IF he has irrefutable evidence, he might avoid paying alimony. He needs to see an attorney about his chances of proving it and avoiding alimony.

And it has to be proof of actual sex. The kind of stuff a PI would turn up (her going to a man’s house, eating lunch with him, driving around with him) won’t cut it.

PP here. I agree. It is nearly impossible to prove. Like I said.

It’s also what the lawyer’s article linked here said that OP liked but I suspect OP glazed right over that part. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

i'm OP and will absolutely take care of my kids and give child support. but i it helps, I do want to fight no alimony and why should the cheater get the house?

Of course and admirable. I'm talking about the damage a divorce will do to your kids. When you get outside the outrage for a moment, have you thought about what it will mean for them?

Not arguing in either direction, just haven't heard you talk about that. Infidelity is a crushing rewrite of reality, and yet marriages survive them. Tune out the clamoring here for a second, do you know what happened? Do you feel your marriage is already unsalvageable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, chances are that if you put so much efforts and attention and money into making your marriage works when she came to you first you would not be here.
Maybe..

This is so wack. Women come here all the time and talk about their cheating husbands and the advice is so different. Why does it have to be HIS fault? You don't even know the story. There isn't 1/10 of the the empathy that's shown to betrayed women here.

We're blaming the victim now??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

he will have to pay child support no matter where his wife lives. Has nothing to do with the marital house.

I wasn't talking about where the wife lives, I was talking about if the kids' primary residence is with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.livesaymyers.com/adultery/

Thanks for being the only helpful response here. Most others seem to be biased at me being a man who has self respect to divorce a cheating wife. I will be contacting this lawyer for more advice.

Welcome to DCUM, where the man is always at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will absolutely help. You won't have to pay her alimony. You'll still need to pay child support though if she ends up with primary residence of the children.

he will have to pay child support no matter where his wife lives. Has nothing to do with the marital house.

I wasn't talking about where the wife lives, I was talking about if the kids' primary residence is with her.

It is usually 50/50. Not one primary residence. He will pay child support no matter how the time is split. Amount varies based on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the only reason you want a divorce is that you think she is cheating? Makes sense that you would be sure of that before you discuss splitting up.

yes we have a good marriage, no major arguments, some sex, etc but if she has cheated, no matter what she says/does to repent there will only be a divorce from my end immediately. i just want to know if its worth getting PI to document any illicit affair .. or do courts not give a shit and split assets 50/50 anyway?

Courts don't care. No fault divorce. She's getting the money regardless, just like she would if you were the one cheating. Maybe spend your energy trying to figure out what's really going on rather than trying to cheat her out of money that is also rightfully hers. (hence the cheating being irrelevant)

is cheating a no fault divorce? if adultery is proven? hence my question..

This is fake, no one who makes that much money can't google this question.