Nanny wants to bring her mom to our house post covid

[Anonymous]

No health risks. Just let her bring her mom for X days. Drama over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nanny’s mom ended up staying at the hospital because apparently she had a stroke and none realized it until a nurse (who speak their language) realized that the mom cannot be released yet. Also, doctors recommended a rehabilitation facility because mom needs to learn how to walk and be self sufficient (she was perfectly healthy and normal before Covid).

Apparently nanny’s sisters disagree with the doctor and want my nanny and her husband to take care of mom instead. It’s a really bad situation. I also just found out that of the 4 guests of the nursing home, 3 died in a matter of days from each other, but apparently it was not Covid. The only one that was spared lived on a different floor.

Nanny thinks her mom should stay at the hospital and then go to a rehab facility where there are nurses, physical therapists, machines, etc., but she won’t go against her sisters desires.

Now I worry that when mom is discharged, she will come and stay with us and she won’t get the care she needs and will never recover... I worry that she might die and then we will all be responsible. As of now, she can’t walk, talk, or use the restroom on her own. My nanny is crying and I don’t know what to do or what to say.

My nanny says her mom is abandoned in the hospital and nobody is fighting for her... I can’t believe doctors wanted to release her in this condition...

Nm just read this update. This is a lot of drama. Mom needs to be in the rehab facility, not in your home. Not because you would be responsible but because it’s better for her health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Oooooh, so you have a slave nanny.

Stop responding to the “slave” troll. She says this all the time and the rest of us ignore her.

This was the first time I've ever said it, and if you read what OP did -- brought her nanny with her from overseas, then brought her husband and children, has them live with her, etc., and if you know people who are expats that have done this, or if you know people who have had nannies overseas and seen how they are treated, then you would know why I posted it. But if you don't, then carry on,

Different poster here. I accused OP of this very thing, because I have a neighbor who has done this and it’s disgusting.

OP wants to paint herself as some savior, as if she cannot get a US nanny and has to import one, away from her own country and family. Bring this woman from another country, away from her own kids, to raise OP’s kids. This woman has no set boundaries BECAUSE SHE LIVES IN OP’s BASEMENT.

yep; my neighbor from Central America did this. She’s an ex-pat working for a big south/Central American NGO. Her own mother sent her this woman from their own country to be her live in maid and nanny. Woman has been here 20 years still doesn’t speak English. Has no friends. Never leaves the house. Never has a day off.

You are taking major advantage of this person OP. Shame on you. Hope there is mercy on your soul but you won’t get it from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding question number 2, pp you must have lived a pretty sheltered life to have trouble imagining that being unemployed and living in someone’s basement in the US could still be miles better than their options in a developing country.

This reminds me of a classic DCUM post where someone claimed their au pair from Milan, Italy was so happy and grateful to experience life in BETHESDA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Oooooh, so you have a slave nanny.

Stop responding to the “slave” troll. She says this all the time and the rest of us ignore her.

This was the first time I've ever said it, and if you read what OP did -- brought her nanny with her from overseas, then brought her husband and children, has them live with her, etc., and if you know people who are expats that have done this, or if you know people who have had nannies overseas and seen how they are treated, then you would know why I posted it. But if you don't, then carry on,

Different poster here. I accused OP of this very thing, because I have a neighbor who has done this and it’s disgusting.

OP wants to paint herself as some savior, as if she cannot get a US nanny and has to import one, away from her own country and family. Bring this woman from another country, away from her own kids, to raise OP’s kids. This woman has no set boundaries BECAUSE SHE LIVES IN OP’s BASEMENT.

yep; my neighbor from Central America did this. She’s an ex-pat working for a big south/Central American NGO. Her own mother sent her this woman from their own country to be her live in maid and nanny. Woman has been here 20 years still doesn’t speak English. Has no friends. Never leaves the house. Never has a day off.

You are taking major advantage of this person OP. Shame on you. Hope there is mercy on your soul but you won’t get it from me.

So many stupid, angry and ignorant people... how am I taking a major advantage of this person? Pls explain.

Nobody forced her here! I knew her from before I moved here and she later disclosed that she was hoping I would get married and stay in the US so she could come here! Do you think you can force people to be your nanny? I have never heard of such thing. Do you think I forbid her to leave? Do you think she works 7 days a week? Do you think she has no vacation? Do you think she was working while giving birth and for 2 months after? Do you think her kids are also my little slaves and they did not go to school and are not extremely happy in college where I helped them get? Do you think my nanny would have had another baby had she been so unhappy? Do you think I took her away from her family? Don’t you think I should have insisted for her family to stay away so that I would not have to take months off from work to take care of my kids when the nanny had a baby? Do you think she does not go on vacation because she is able to save money to spend? Do you think she is not investing in properties in her home countries so if she wishes she can retire there?

Really...
I love having her living here with me. It makes things easier for everyone... my kids have another family and nanny saves about $2000 in rent. She is not a slave. She works 8 hours a day 5 days a week. She hasn’t worked an evening since Covid hit (and she would have been paid extra if she did). She does NOT want to go back anywhere and when we will need to let her go because we will not need her for ever, she will probably try to find a way to stay here.

I am sorry you are surrounded by horrible people, but it is not what happens everywhere else. While we are the only family that sponsored visas for the whole family, everyone else I know treats their employees really well. We wanted her because first of all we knew her and could trust her, second, she speaks my language and I wanted that for my kids. Otherwise, a local nanny would have been a great deal easier (and we could have rented the basement for possible $1800)

You are an ugly and judgmental person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FIL ended up in the ER and ICU because BIL thought he could take care of him at home after one surgery and unilaterally decided that FIL didn’t need his heart meds, etc. FIL absolutely should have been in a skilled nursing facility but DH was cut out of any decision making.

Try to convince your nanny that her sisters aren’t here to see what’s happening and she can absolutely make decisions on her own with advice from medical professionals. She probably needs to see an elder care attorney as well.

Thanks, I will, but it’s not up to me. Her sisters and now father wants the mom back with dad or with my nanny at our place. It’s ridiculous because it goes against medical advice...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just completely baffled - HOW good does a nanny have to be at her job, in order to all of the following be worth it: 1. have family of 3 or 5 people live in your basement, including an unemployed adult and a baby, 2. spend resources to help nanny's husband and children immigrate to US, 3. nanny obviously had to cut back a bit before and after giving birth.

Also curious about the nanny's husband's mentality who allegedly has much better life here - unemployed for years (based on kids' attending both HS and college in US), living in another family's basement, just so that the wife can be someone's nanny.

She is amazing and someone we trust 100%. Her kids are brothers to my kids and I think they are a great addition to our house. They study most of the time and are a great role model, but they baby sit their little brother and play with my kids too sometimes. They are very good kids

[Anonymous]

Wait did you bring the sister over too?

Nothing about your story is believable, especially what you claim to be happening in the hospital. I don't believe for a second that they were releasing someone home who couldn't walk.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny sounds like a huge liability. I would think about it in broader terms than whether to let her bring yet another family member to your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding question number 2, pp you must have lived a pretty sheltered life to have trouble imagining that being unemployed and living in someone’s basement in the US could still be miles better than their options in a developing country.

This reminds me of a classic DCUM post where someone claimed their au pair from Milan, Italy was so happy and grateful to experience life in BETHESDA

PP here and per my prior post I don’t think most people would classify Italy as a developing country. Our family has lived and worked in Sub-Saharan Africa for a number of years and had several local nannies while there. While the logistics unfortunately didn’t work for us to bring any of them with us to the US, a number of families we were close friends with overseas did sponsor their nannies to come work for them here and I guarantee you that the quality of life for them and their families improved astronomically as a result. The op questioned the logic of nanny’s husband leaving his country of origin to be unemployed and live in a basement in the US. The point was that there is a big world outside the US and Western Europe and for some people just to have guaranteed lodging in a safe location and regular access to clean water/health care is a huge windfall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait did you bring the sister over too?

Nothing about your story is believable, especially what you claim to be happening in the hospital. I don't believe for a second that they were releasing someone home who couldn't walk.

No, as I mentioned before, the sister married an American man and moved here a while back (before my nanny). She was also able to bring her parents here with a green card. I had nothing to do with all of this so I have no idea. Only nanny’s immediate family is eligible for visa (spouse and dependent children)

[Anonymous]

Your husband is happy with your friend/nanny and her husband and kids moving into your house?

And you pay your nanny such a good salary for her 40 hr work week (including when she took 2 months off), apparently not deducting anything for her family living there for free, that she can afford to be a sole breadwinner in the family, put 2 kids through college, take vacations AND invest in properties in her home country?

Amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait did you bring the sister over too?

Nothing about your story is believable, especially what you claim to be happening in the hospital. I don't believe for a second that they were releasing someone home who couldn't walk.

I agree with you. It’s unbelievable that they were going to release her. They suggested a rehab facility so that mom could re-learn to walk, eat, etc. But they were going to release her until a nurse that speaks mom’s language realized she was not well... I guess this happened when people don’t speak English. Also, the stroke was not why she went to the hospital so it’s possible nobody was looking for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is happy with your friend/nanny and her husband and kids moving into your house?

And you pay your nanny such a good salary for her 40 hr work week (including when she took 2 months off), apparently not deducting anything for her family living there for free, that she can afford to be a sole breadwinner in the family, put 2 kids through college, take vacations AND invest in properties in her home country?

Amazing!

I know, it’s amazing. Her children got scholarships so school is free and now with Covid they get a small stipend on top of it all. They are not on top schools if that matters, but they are thriving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is happy with your friend/nanny and her husband and kids moving into your house?

And you pay your nanny such a good salary for her 40 hr work week (including when she took 2 months off), apparently not deducting anything for her family living there for free, that she can afford to be a sole breadwinner in the family, put 2 kids through college, take vacations AND invest in properties in her home country?

Amazing!

I know, it’s amazing. Her children got scholarships so school is free and now with Covid they get a small stipend on top of it all. They are not on top schools if that matters, but they are thriving

Guess 'The rich are different from you and me' applies, with OP and her husband being 'the rich' here.