Nanny wants to bring her mom to our house post covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

No, it is why I can tell you that if I could, I would take time off from work (like I am doing this afternoon so she can pick up her mom).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

So if the nanny is a part of your family and you helped the family in "so many ways", then by extension isn't the mom also a part of your "family"?

If you are so close to the nanny and her family, then why would it be uncomfortable to have the mom stay their for awhile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.

Do you have any back up childcare? Neighbor, college kid, family member that can step in for a few days?

I don't think the nanny's mom is going to spread covid, but I don't really see how the nanny can care for your kids and her mom all day.

Can you offer to pay for a carer for the nanny's mom? Maybe someone from care.com who is vaxxed?

No, nobody. I would be happy to pay for someone and already offered (though her husband is perfectly capable), but nanny does not trust a stranger... but I should trust a stranger with my small children...

[Anonymous]

No, she can go there after work hours or let her take time off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really the solution should be that nanny should be allowed to take care of her mother for a few days similar to how I imagine you might be allowed to take some PTO for your own mother if she was being discharged from the hospital. Her mother should be able to go to the comfort of her own home and have support from her daughter. I realize it isn't ideal to have to cover care for your kids for a few days but this is life and what you take on knowing you'll have a nanny - that they are people with family emergencies, illnesses etc. and you'll need to find back up care or take time off yourself to manage. That is my personal recommendation. It doesn't seem reasonable to me to not give your nanny a few days time here.

This is the right approach. Based on what you're saying about your work situation, the timing does suck, but you need to allow her to take a few days off and help her mom. Care.com, White House nannies, neighborhood listserves, FB neighborhood or mom groups. You can definitely do this - will be hard, and time consuming finding someone, but you don't really have a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

So if the nanny is a part of your family and you helped the family in "so many ways", then by extension isn't the mom also a part of your "family"?

If you are so close to the nanny and her family, then why would it be uncomfortable to have the mom stay their for awhile?[/quote


I am not close to the mom. I was only concerned about Covid risks, but I guess I should not be. Also, having nanny here means that I can send the kids when I have video calls, etc. I have a 2 year old and I need him supervised all thetime

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.

Do you have any back up childcare? Neighbor, college kid, family member that can step in for a few days?

I don't think the nanny's mom is going to spread covid, but I don't really see how the nanny can care for your kids and her mom all day.

Can you offer to pay for a carer for the nanny's mom? Maybe someone from care.com who is vaxxed?

No, nobody. I would be happy to pay for someone and already offered (though her husband is perfectly capable), but nanny does not trust a stranger... but I should trust a stranger with my small children...

PP here. I would offer to pay a carer for the nanny's mom and have that person be supervised by the nanny's dad. If the nanny won't agree to that, then I guess have her bring her mom to work if you are in a bind, but I would start looking for a new nanny.

If the nanny isn't asking to take time off, it appears she wants to work and take care of her mom at the same time. She's not working with you on this one.

[Anonymous]

Just to be clear. My nanny wants her mom here living in our house for a little while. She does not want to take her to her own house (where her husband lives). The parents live in a nursing home where they work. I am not sure my nanny would be allowed to stay there.

My question is. Should I allow this and if yes, should I have the nanny watch my kids given Covid risks (which I guess are low) and given my work situation?

[Anonymous]

There are no COVID risks. The mom is negative and, with a recent infection, at least temporarily she can’t spread it - so she can’t bring it home from the hospital. The nanny’s mom is one of the safest people to be around right now.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough spot to be, for you and nanny.

I would let the mom come for a few days, and ask her to get someone else to look after her mom after this weekend.

I am a nanny, and I am also responsible for managing care for my disabled family member. It is not an easy balance. I suggest she start looking for a part time caregiver now. It can be challenging to find someone.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t seem like a covid problem.

OP, am I reading you correctly that the nanny, her unemployed husband, and adult children all live in your basement? If you have all that going on, you might as well let her mom come too.

But, OP, you need to unwind this situation. You have an unemployed man sitting in your basement all day? Honey, you are being used. These people don’t consider you family, they think you are a sucker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

So you pat yourself on the back, but as soon as it’s inconvenient for you it’s too bad for Nanny.

Before coming here to crowdsource what to do, did you discuss with your supervisor and perhaps ask for an extension?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to be clear. My nanny wants her mom here living in our house for a little while. She does not want to take her to her own house (where her husband lives). The parents live in a nursing home where they work. I am not sure my nanny would be allowed to stay there.

My question is. Should I allow this and if yes, should I have the nanny watch my kids given Covid risks (which I guess are low) and given my work situation?

No, the mom can not come stay at your house. She can either go home, or go to Nanny's Husband and you can generously offer to hire a homecare worker to help the mom.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. You are saying you cannot let the nanny take time off work and that is why you may need to let the nanny's mom stay with you/her. But at the same time, you said the nanny wouldn't want to go be with the mom at the mom's residence. So where else could she care for her?

I think the COVID risk is low - but this might be a good question for the hospital discharging doctor. I agree with others that it would be reasonable to give your nanny some time off and I totally agree that this is the issue that comes with hiring a nanny. What if your nanny was the one sick? Then regardless of your work schedule you'd be forced to deal with it. But regardless of all that...if you don't want to give the nanny time off and the nanny's mom needs to stay somewhere other than home, then I'm not sure what other choice you would have.