Nanny wants to bring her mom to our house post covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regarding question number 2, pp you must have lived a pretty sheltered life to have trouble imagining that being unemployed and living in someone’s basement in the US could still be miles better than their options in a developing country.

This reminds me of a classic DCUM post where someone claimed their au pair from Milan, Italy was so happy and grateful to experience life in BETHESDA

PP here and per my prior post I don’t think most people would classify Italy as a developing country. Our family has lived and worked in Sub-Saharan Africa for a number of years and had several local nannies while there. While the logistics unfortunately didn’t work for us to bring any of them with us to the US, a number of families we were close friends with overseas did sponsor their nannies to come work for them here and I guarantee you that the quality of life for them and their families improved astronomically as a result. The op questioned the logic of nanny’s husband leaving his country of origin to be unemployed and live in a basement in the US. The point was that there is a big world outside the US and Western Europe and for some people just to have guaranteed lodging in a safe location and regular access to clean water/health care is a huge windfall.

I agree with you and I think it explains so many illegal immigrants happy to make the dangerous journey and live in squalid conditions etc. Trust me they don’t think their 90% farms school is not good enough but I digress.

[Anonymous]

Bringing people over from your home country to the US to work for you and "live in your basement", claiming you take care of them so well and how much this nanny loves living and working for you, it's amazing, you take such good care of it, sounds like the Lost Cause theories about how well slaves had it and how they enjoyed living on plantations.

GMAB

This kind of rationalization happens all the time, always we foreign nationals/diplomats bringing over poorer people from their home country. It's really terrible.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/legal-issues/rehana-bibi-labor-trafficking/2021/02/20/834fa6ca-35a8-11eb-b59c-adb7153d10c2_story.html

[Anonymous]

Labor trafficking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Labor trafficking

Please explain why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bringing people over from your home country to the US to work for you and "live in your basement", claiming you take care of them so well and how much this nanny loves living and working for you, it's amazing, you take such good care of it, sounds like the Lost Cause theories about how well slaves had it and how they enjoyed living on plantations.

GMAB

This kind of rationalization happens all the time, always we foreign nationals/diplomats bringing over poorer people from their home country. It's really terrible.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/legal-issues/rehana-bibi-labor-trafficking/2021/02/20/834fa6ca-35a8-11eb-b59c-adb7153d10c2_story.html

Sure whatever....

Please explain why (in my case) this is slavery. How ignorant and racist can you be to compare our live in nanny to slaves.

Should we not have brought her here if she wanted to? How are we taking advantage of the situation? Please explain... since you seem to know so much about my nanny and our lives in general. Please explain

[Anonymous]

Oh and BTW we are talking about a European country... not some poor developing country, but please go ahead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just completely baffled - HOW good does a nanny have to be at her job, in order to all of the following be worth it: 1. have family of 3 or 5 people live in your basement, including an unemployed adult and a baby, 2. spend resources to help nanny's husband and children immigrate to US, 3. nanny obviously had to cut back a bit before and after giving birth.

Also curious about the nanny's husband's mentality who allegedly has much better life here - unemployed for years (based on kids' attending both HS and college in US), living in another family's basement, just so that the wife can be someone's nanny.

I’m with you. This makes no sense to me, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and BTW we are talking about a European country... not some poor developing country, but please go ahead

Actually, all this might be believable after all - some Russian, Slovenian or Czech hottie might very well have the chops and determination to have her rich husband sponsor bringing her friend, friend's husband and kids over and letting them all move in with them, plus pay a decent salary to the friend as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bringing people over from your home country to the US to work for you and "live in your basement", claiming you take care of them so well and how much this nanny loves living and working for you, it's amazing, you take such good care of it, sounds like the Lost Cause theories about how well slaves had it and how they enjoyed living on plantations.

GMAB

This kind of rationalization happens all the time, always we foreign nationals/diplomats bringing over poorer people from their home country. It's really terrible.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/legal-issues/rehana-bibi-labor-trafficking/2021/02/20/834fa6ca-35a8-11eb-b59c-adb7153d10c2_story.html

Sure whatever....

Please explain why (in my case) this is slavery. How ignorant and racist can you be to compare our live in nanny to slaves.

Should we not have brought her here if she wanted to? How are we taking advantage of the situation? Please explain... since you seem to know so much about my nanny and our lives in general. Please explain

Oh dear, slaves come in every color. Labor trafficking isn't just a white, brown, black or purple polka dot problem. Why do you keep playing a race card?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and BTW we are talking about a European country... not some poor developing country, but please go ahead

Wait, so your nanny and her family are oh so better living in your basement, by leaps and bounds, than living in Europe (and this European country isn't poor or developing)?

You make zero sense lady. Here's a shovel, can you dig it?

[Anonymous]

Do you actually pay your nanny a salary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you actually pay your nanny a salary?

OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you actually pay your nanny a salary?

OP?

Do I actually have to answer this question? Of course we pay her!!!! This is so risiculous! Apart from the fact that I would never to pay someone for their work, the department of State keeps a really close eye on all these visa. They require pay stubs, workers compensation, taxes, health insurance, etc. For all the people here that have no idea how this system work, let me tell you that it is not possible to give a visa to someone and not pay them or not pay them enough. I am sure you could do that with an illegal nanny or with an American one, but not with someone for whom to are sponsoring the visa.
My husband’s company also keeps a very close eye on things or else they are liable. My husband would lose his job if we were not obeying by every rule possible. On top of this, we brought here her family because this is what she/they wanted. We were under no obligation to do this, but we did because we value this person so much. She worked from my parents back in Europe and that is where is family was when she came to the US. However, she is not European and her kids and husband have a much better life here than they would there (especially the kids because they just have more opportunities here).


This lady is part of the family. My kids love her and I don’t know what I would do without her. Believe me when I say that she is very happy to be here and would never want to go back to Europe or to her country of birth. She made many friends here, has a sister here, is making a lot more money than she was and is able to take vacations and save for her future.

I will not be answering insulting comments anymore.

I already told her mom can stay here when discharged, but I would prefer she goes to a rehabilitation center (and nanny agrees with me)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Oooooh, so you have a slave nanny.

Stop responding to the “slave” troll. She says this all the time and the rest of us ignore her.

This was the first time I've ever said it, and if you read what OP did -- brought her nanny with her from overseas, then brought her husband and children, has them live with her, etc., and if you know people who are expats that have done this, or if you know people who have had nannies overseas and seen how they are treated, then you would know why I posted it. But if you don't, then carry on,

Different poster here. I accused OP of this very thing, because I have a neighbor who has done this and it’s disgusting.

OP wants to paint herself as some savior, as if she cannot get a US nanny and has to import one, away from her own country and family. Bring this woman from another country, away from her own kids, to raise OP’s kids. This woman has no set boundaries BECAUSE SHE LIVES IN OP’s BASEMENT.

yep; my neighbor from Central America did this. She’s an ex-pat working for a big south/Central American NGO. Her own mother sent her this woman from their own country to be her live in maid and nanny. Woman has been here 20 years still doesn’t speak English. Has no friends. Never leaves the house. Never has a day off.

You are taking major advantage of this person OP. Shame on you. Hope there is mercy on your soul but you won’t get it from me.

So many stupid, angry and ignorant people... how am I taking a major advantage of this person? Pls explain.

Nobody forced her here! I knew her from before I moved here and she later disclosed that she was hoping I would get married and stay in the US so she could come here! Do you think you can force people to be your nanny? I have never heard of such thing. Do you think I forbid her to leave? Do you think she works 7 days a week? Do you think she has no vacation? Do you think she was working while giving birth and for 2 months after? Do you think her kids are also my little slaves and they did not go to school and are not extremely happy in college where I helped them get? Do you think my nanny would have had another baby had she been so unhappy? Do you think I took her away from her family? Don’t you think I should have insisted for her family to stay away so that I would not have to take months off from work to take care of my kids when the nanny had a baby? Do you think she does not go on vacation because she is able to save money to spend? Do you think she is not investing in properties in her home countries so if she wishes she can retire there?

Really...
I love having her living here with me. It makes things easier for everyone... my kids have another family and nanny saves about $2000 in rent. She is not a slave. She works 8 hours a day 5 days a week. She hasn’t worked an evening since Covid hit (and she would have been paid extra if she did). She does NOT want to go back anywhere and when we will need to let her go because we will not need her for ever, she will probably try to find a way to stay here.

I am sorry you are surrounded by horrible people, but it is not what happens everywhere else. While we are the only family that sponsored visas for the whole family, everyone else I know treats their employees really well. We wanted her because first of all we knew her and could trust her, second, she speaks my language and I wanted that for my kids. Otherwise, a local nanny would have been a great deal easier (and we could have rented the basement for possible $1800)

You are an ugly and judgmental person

I would like to know how you sponsored a visa for a nanny and her entire family? Because I have family that works in immigration law and that is basically impossible - what special talents does your nanny have that you were able to bring her over here?

[Anonymous]

You passed the nanny around? First she worked for your parents back in "Europe" (as a nanny to who?), and now she's your nanny here in the states, but she isn't from Europe, and she just had a baby, even though she was the nanny for your parents?

Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night, I guess.