Nanny wants to bring her mom to our house post covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just completely baffled - HOW good does a nanny have to be at her job, in order to all of the following be worth it: 1. have family of 3 or 5 people live in your basement, including an unemployed adult and a baby, 2. spend resources to help nanny's husband and children immigrate to US, 3. nanny obviously had to cut back a bit before and after giving birth.

Also curious about the nanny's husband's mentality who allegedly has much better life here - unemployed for years (based on kids' attending both HS and college in US), living in another family's basement, just so that the wife can be someone's nanny.

I’m with you. This makes no sense to me, either.

If husband is on unemployment it does make sense to him.
I agree with the rest however

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand what OP's husband does that HIS EMPLOYER was able to sponsor OP's nanny.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s all relevant. I am sure the nanny got a nice deal. If OP is happy too, then so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

When people are part of the family, we don’t write posts about them being the nanny and approaching it as a worker issue. We just ask if it is safe to have someone who is no longer positive but needs to convalesce stay with us.

[Anonymous]

This is a slippery slope.. and why i would never prefer a nanny to reliable daycare. Their families become your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just completely baffled - HOW good does a nanny have to be at her job, in order to all of the following be worth it: 1. have family of 3 or 5 people live in your basement, including an unemployed adult and a baby, 2. spend resources to help nanny's husband and children immigrate to US, 3. nanny obviously had to cut back a bit before and after giving birth.

Also curious about the nanny's husband's mentality who allegedly has much better life here - unemployed for years (based on kids' attending both HS and college in US), living in another family's basement, just so that the wife can be someone's nanny.

I’m with you. This makes no sense to me, either.

If husband is on unemployment it does make sense to him.
I agree with the rest however

You can’t be on unemployment that long.

[Anonymous]

OP! WOW! You were given an unnecessary beating.

I see that you were between a rock and a hard place. Now you know that going forward, you will need to have a backup in place. Really kind of you for all that you’ve done for your Nanny and her family.

Congratulations on your new job. I pray that it all works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me clarify because I think I was not clear:

1) nanny, her husband and kids all live in our basement (for free if it matters)

2) nanny’s mom is being discharged today from the hospital after Covid (and 4 negative tests)

3) nanny did NOT ask for time off, but asked to bring her mom to our house (in the basement) so nanny can take care of her. Nanny cannot take care of mom in mom’s house, but nanny’s dad could take care of her (I think).

My questions are:

1) do I let her bring her mom to our house and let my nanny take care of my kids.

2) do I let mom come to my house and take time off from work to take care of my kids (this is really bad for me professionally this week)

3) say no to the nanny (her mom can’t stay here) and I think mom’s husband will have to take care of his wife

You want to do #3 and feel entitled to it for some reason. #2 is what you really should do. But next best choice is #1 and is what nanny is asking for.

If her kids and husband live in the basement then it seems like they are going to help taking care of grandma and therefore nanny will be fine to watch your kids and be checking in.

If nanny lived in her own place she would not need to ask your permission to let her parent stay with her. By being your nanny's housing (for her whole family no less) it is unreasonable to say she can't do this, which is something she would 100% be able to do without asking for permission in a different living situation.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone else been wondering how this is supposedly such an incredibly busy time in the OP's work life but she has time to post to DCUM repeatedly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You passed the nanny around? First she worked for your parents back in "Europe" (as a nanny to who?), and now she's your nanny here in the states, but she isn't from Europe, and she just had a baby, even though she was the nanny for your parents?

Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night, I guess.

this!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted a little while back about my nanny’s mom health issues post Covid.

Her mom is doing much better now and is being discharged. She could go to her home where her husband (nanny’s dad) lives. However, she is convalescent and can’t walk yet. My nanny asked to bring her to my house (our nanny lives with us in the basement).

Is that ok? She had Covid, but has had several (probably 4) negative tests since. Husband and I are fully vaccinated and our nanny just got her first shot. Nanny’s husband and kids(as well as my kids) are not vaccinated.

I am a little uncomfortable with this situation, but can’t take care of my kids during the day for the next 3 or 4 days because of work (so can’t let the nanny take time off).

What do you think?

Thanks

Ok, so you have a live-in nanny, her husband, her kids and now her mom all living in your basement?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to be clear. My nanny wants her mom here living in our house for a little while. She does not want to take her to her own house (where her husband lives). The parents live in a nursing home where they work. I am not sure my nanny would be allowed to stay there.

My question is. Should I allow this and if yes, should I have the nanny watch my kids given Covid risks (which I guess are low) and given my work situation?

Bingo, there's the reason.

If the nanny's mom moved back to the nursing home but is not able to work, she's not allowed to live there. She would have to be a patient, and she can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else been wondering how this is supposedly such an incredibly busy time in the OP's work life but she has time to post to DCUM repeatedly?

Yep...

[Anonymous]

OP with an update. Nanny’s mom ended up salarying at the hospital until lunch today and then was discharged. I only had to take 2 afternoon off and was able to work the rest of the time.
Nanny brought her mom here and she will stay here (with her husband) for a week (possibly more). My nanny will be able to take care of my kids since there are so many adults in the house to help.

I had originally posted this on the health page because I had questions related to the health of the nanny’s mom (and I still do), but the thread was moved here.

I wonder if I should start a new thread there again.

But basically nanny’s mom is unable to walk, barely talk, is not self-sufficient in anything and has no memory. I have no idea what happened to her, she was 100% normal a few weeks back and now she has no idea who her daughter is or even who she is. They did an MRI at the hospital because they thought she might have had a stroke, but did not find anything. She had covid, a blood clot, pneumonia, UTI and irregular heart beat for a couple of days. Everything since to have been resolved except that she has no idea who she is...

Does anyone know what might have happened to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP with an update. Nanny’s mom ended up salarying at the hospital until lunch today and then was discharged. I only had to take 2 afternoon off and was able to work the rest of the time.
Nanny brought her mom here and she will stay here (with her husband) for a week (possibly more). My nanny will be able to take care of my kids since there are so many adults in the house to help.

I had originally posted this on the health page because I had questions related to the health of the nanny’s mom (and I still do), but the thread was moved here.

I wonder if I should start a new thread there again.

But basically nanny’s mom is unable to walk, barely talk, is not self-sufficient in anything and has no memory. I have no idea what happened to her, she was 100% normal a few weeks back and now she has no idea who her daughter is or even who she is. They did an MRI at the hospital because they thought she might have had a stroke, but did not find anything. She had covid, a blood clot, pneumonia, UTI and irregular heart beat for a couple of days. Everything since to have been resolved except that she has no idea who she is...

Does anyone know what might have happened to her?

First of all, who is the “so many” adults in the household to help- the nanny’s husband? Do you really think your nanny will be able to take care of her mom and your kids (and her kids?) at the same time?

What is the plan after a week? You say the nanny’s parents can’t afford a nursing home but it really sounds like the mom needs full time care?