Have you even had the opportunity to have an affair you didn't seek out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exes on Facebook is an easy and common one. I’ve gotten a few friend requests from ex-girlfriends who I hadn’t heard from in 20+ years. I can tell what they’re hinting at. Same with business travel. I’ve been propositioned by women in my company (diff branch). One time a neighbor but she was divorced. Women give obvious signals when they are willing.

Are you a very good looking guy?

I’m probably above average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married for 16 years and the opportunities to cheat are everywhere for both of us. I've had more than him, esp. when we were first married, but he has had several too. We don't cheat but we always disclose when someone propositions us. Not sure why. I think it's just because it happens more often than we ever thought it would. I've had it come up in many places- work, parties, general public, other parents, etc. For DH, it has been a stranger once and the mother of one of our kid's friends. The other kid's father found out that his wife tried and blew up at it, so our kid had to end the friendship. It was very weird and uncomfortable for the kids.

We keep to ourselves as much as possible. People don't seem to understand healthy boundaries and it is annoying.

Your DH must have given some indication that he was in to the mother of your kids friends. I just can’t imagine flirting with an uninterested man would get so blown out of proportion that the husband would blow up. Unless the husband was excessively jealous.

PP here; no, she actually did this to our mutual friend's husband, too. She was very attention seeking. Her husband was frustrated that she was throwing herself at his kid's friends' fathers while he was traveling for work. Wouldn't that upset you?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I both travel a lot for business and we have shared a bunch of stories about the characters we have met who are interested in sex. We’ve been married a long time and we have a great relationship so it’s actually fun to hear the stories. It’s not very often but it’s always very entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both travel a lot for business and we have shared a bunch of stories about the characters we have met who are interested in sex. We’ve been married a long time and we have a great relationship so it’s actually fun to hear the stories. It’s not very often but it’s always very entertaining.

Why do you think he hasn't cheated? Why wouldn't he? Sex is fun and you'd never find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both travel a lot for business and we have shared a bunch of stories about the characters we have met who are interested in sex. We’ve been married a long time and we have a great relationship so it’s actually fun to hear the stories. It’s not very often but it’s always very entertaining.

Why do you think he hasn't cheated? Why wouldn't he? Sex is fun and you'd never find out.

Same reason he doesn’t think I’ve cheated. We have a good marriage. Do you?

[Anonymous]

Married 15+ years.

Years 1-6, opportunities were endless. I traveled for work a lot. I was never seeking an affair, but I'm an adventurous spirit and I'm sure I gave off a vibe of being open to it. Colleagues, preschool parents, neighbors, you name it. Sometimes I got swept up in the moment and let it go too far, so I know it's not my imagination.

Once the first kid was born (year 6), my attitude completely changed. And just like that, the opportunities stopped.

It was years before I made the connection between my own unconscious attitude / way of acting towards others, and the 'unsolicited' opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married 15+ years.

Years 1-6, opportunities were endless. I traveled for work a lot. I was never seeking an affair, but I'm an adventurous spirit and I'm sure I gave off a vibe of being open to it. Colleagues, preschool parents, neighbors, you name it. Sometimes I got swept up in the moment and let it go too far, so I know it's not my imagination.

Once the first kid was born (year 6), my attitude completely changed. And just like that, the opportunities stopped.

It was years before I made the connection between my own unconscious attitude / way of acting towards others, and the 'unsolicited' opportunities.

This is absolutely the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both travel a lot for business and we have shared a bunch of stories about the characters we have met who are interested in sex. We’ve been married a long time and we have a great relationship so it’s actually fun to hear the stories. It’s not very often but it’s always very entertaining.

Why do you think he hasn't cheated? Why wouldn't he? Sex is fun and you'd never find out.

Same reason he doesn’t think I’ve cheated. We have a good marriage. Do you?

Men and women are different, and you're naive.

[Anonymous]

My dad who was happily married and a good Catholic was approached throughout his life. I remember when I was under 10 women in stores would go ga-ga over him. He once picked me up from hospital after a car crash and the otherwise motherly nurse suddenly went all coquettish when he came in the room. I know for a fact that a parent from school stopped him in the street and asked if he'd like to have sex with her.

He never had an affair was totally in love with my mother and was quite disturbed by all the attention he got.

He was a very handsome man and had an air of not being interested (which he wasn't) and I am sure that attracted a lot of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad who was happily married and a good Catholic was approached throughout his life. I remember when I was under 10 women in stores would go ga-ga over him. He once picked me up from hospital after a car crash and the otherwise motherly nurse suddenly went all coquettish when he came in the room. I know for a fact that a parent from school stopped him in the street and asked if he'd like to have sex with her.

He never had an affair was totally in love with my mother and was quite disturbed by all the attention he got.

He was a very handsome man and had an air of not being interested (which he wasn't) and I am sure that attracted a lot of women.

You. Do. Not. Know. This!

So many posts like this, and I just don't get it. No one knows about my affair, least of all my children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad who was happily married and a good Catholic was approached throughout his life. I remember when I was under 10 women in stores would go ga-ga over him. He once picked me up from hospital after a car crash and the otherwise motherly nurse suddenly went all coquettish when he came in the room. I know for a fact that a parent from school stopped him in the street and asked if he'd like to have sex with her.

He never had an affair was totally in love with my mother and was quite disturbed by all the attention he got.

He was a very handsome man and had an air of not being interested (which he wasn't) and I am sure that attracted a lot of women.

You. Do. Not. Know. This!

So many posts like this, and I just don't get it. No one knows about my affair, least of all my children!

Your AP does...and god help you if their spouse finds out.

Also- I know a few kids who knew about their parent’s affair and never told either parent they knew. It f@cked then up.

I wouldn’t be so smug.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this counts as opportunities for affairs. Probably not. But I'll share it anyway.

My daughter is pretty and outgoing. She always has been. Starting when she was just a toddler, many women would flirt with me when I was out with her (without her mother). These women didn't proposition me but they would start up flirty conversations and look at me in a way that women rarely do when I'm not with my daughter.

Now she's an adult. Her friends sometimes do the same thing. It makes me uncomfortable, and my daughter sometimes notices and gets pissed at her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both travel a lot for business and we have shared a bunch of stories about the characters we have met who are interested in sex. We’ve been married a long time and we have a great relationship so it’s actually fun to hear the stories. It’s not very often but it’s always very entertaining.

Why do you think he hasn't cheated? Why wouldn't he? Sex is fun and you'd never find out.

Same reason he doesn’t think I’ve cheated. We have a good marriage. Do you?

Men and women are different, and you're naive.

NP - some people do have good marriages.

[Anonymous]

My husband does the Mike Pence rule but subtly. He just never goes for lunch etc alone w anyone male or female.

I actually prefer work from home because he's a very desirable guy (well. In my opinion!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband does the Mike Pence rule but subtly. He just never goes for lunch etc alone w anyone male or female.

I actually prefer work from home because he's a very desirable guy (well. In my opinion!)

In all honesty, a man should never be alone with somebody else's kid or another woman (married or not).

Accusations can be made. For the latter, no need to put yourself near temptation. Opportunity is a big part of it.

I will add--emails and texts should not be made to other opposite sex spouses without copying the other spouse.

These are the unspoken rules most people married 20, 30, 40+ years naturally employ. And, no husband is going over to a neighbor woman's house alone w/ nobody else in her house to 'fix her sink' or 'build furniture' like in the troll post.