Have you even had the opportunity to have an affair you didn't seek out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP was not looking. I was the aggressor. He was basically content in his marriage. I thought he was flirty with me, which is what gave me the confidence to flirt harder, but given how long he held out (over a year) before it turned physical, I don't think he was really looking for it. But he never discouraged it. That was 7 years ago and we're still going strong.

Gross. Are you married too?

Why would you do this? It seems like you derive self-worth for thinking you 'stole' him from his wife and family. Get some therapy.

[Anonymous]

I'm female and travel a lot for work. I have been shocked at the people who take the attitude of "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" and approach me about having a night together.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would have to be quite the a-hole to have an affair within 3 years. but give it 15, kids, dead bedroom...things can happen without you meaning to.

Thinking the same thing. I had some opportunities early in my marriage that were flattering but turned them down because I had a great sex life at home. Now, I know a divorced woman that is pursuing me hard, offering NSA FWB, and its super tempting because my bedroom with DW is completely dead and has been for a while. Not even sure if wife would care, but she would be pissed if she found out.

[Anonymous]

DW here and I wish I had an oppoortunity for an affair to not turn down! between WFH and being with my toddlers 100% of the rest of the time, I can'tt even fathom where i'd be relaxed for a flirtation with someone new

[Anonymous]

I’m 61, retired with decent looks and I’m surprised by the opportunities presented by same age divorcees and widows. We spend the winters in Florida and there are plenty of cocktail parties and after a couple of glasses of wine the flirting can be pretty intense. At my age it is nice to be flirted with but being happily married for 35 years I’m not going there. I certainly understand that loneliness stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would have to be quite the a-hole to have an affair within 3 years. but give it 15, kids, dead bedroom...things can happen without you meaning to.

Thinking the same thing. I had some opportunities early in my marriage that were flattering but turned them down because I had a great sex life at home. Now, I know a divorced woman that is pursuing me hard, offering NSA FWB, and its super tempting because my bedroom with DW is completely dead and has been for a while. Not even sure if wife would care, but she would be pissed if she found out.

And here....we....go....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you spend a lot of traveling for business and you attend a lot of conferences or trade shows it’s inevitable that the opportunity will arise. Dinners and hotel bars have a way of loosening people up and if someone is lonely and looking for “love” they will make it very clear. I’ve had plenty of opportunities and when I see them rising I find a way to change the subject or make a polite exit.

Yes, it sounds like work travel and drinking around work colleagues is a big way that opportunities can form when people let their guards down a bit

[Anonymous]

This is why I'm happy my husband follows the Mike Pence rules.

[Anonymous]

My mom is 63 and gets propositioned all the time. It's amazing. She works in court.

[Anonymous]

i've seen a few marriages end due to affairs.

Twice, the affair partners were family friends -- kids played together, neighbors, took vacations together. At some point two of the adults became attracted to each other and started an affair. all four of those marriages ended, in one case the affair-havers are still together.

Another was a friend who was in graduate school, away from her husband. fell in love with a classmate, both marriages ended, they are now together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

LOL, definitely not. I'm just shocked at the outward in your face approach that these women were taking. Didn't realize this was so common!

Man here: It's common but they're not coming on to him for sex. They're just thirsty for acknowledgment and approval. Quite common for moms as they get older. It's that, "do I still have it?" mentality. They'd never act on it and it seems like PP has given them the approval that they needed.

Nothing to see here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

NP, so they/she “rubbed” her “tits” on you in broad daylight in a daycare classroom in the middle of busy pickup? Come on.

Right?! The PP is delusional -- this scenario is laughable.

I laughed too, but now that I think about it, this has actually happened to me. Not at daycare, but at a running group I used to be a part of. This one woman in particular had a habit of standing so close to me that she'd be touching me. This once, her boob was pressing against my arm. There were people all around us. I even looked around, like "someone else sees this, right?". Nothing ever came of it, no flirty talk or anything. Just always touching me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

LOL, definitely not. I'm just shocked at the outward in your face approach that these women were taking. Didn't realize this was so common!

Man here: It's common but they're not coming on to him for sex. They're just thirsty for acknowledgment and approval. Quite common for moms as they get older. It's that, "do I still have it?" mentality. They'd never act on it and it seems like PP has given them the approval that they needed.

Nothing to see here.

Sorry, I'm still not buying that multiple women have rubbed their breasts against him at daycare pick-up.

[Anonymous]

I've never "sought out" an affair because I'm just fine at home but when I started my career in the late 80's women traveling was still a pretty novel thing and I got hit on quite often even though I was married. The only time I didn't was when I was pregnant. At the very beginning of my career I was single and pretty naive when it came to married men but it didn't take long for me to figure out what was going on. When I got married I told my husband not to be one of those guys because I WOULD KNOW!