Have you even had the opportunity to have an affair you didn't seek out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you spend a lot of traveling for business and you attend a lot of conferences or trade shows it’s inevitable that the opportunity will arise. Dinners and hotel bars have a way of loosening people up and if someone is lonely and looking for “love” they will make it very clear. I’ve had plenty of opportunities and when I see them rising I find a way to change the subject or make a polite exit.

+1 I know it’s different, but when I was single I had to attend functions at a hotel in NYC, and my friend/colleague used to like to go to the hotel bar afterward. We were hit on by married men more than once. I remember asked them about their kids, that usually stopped it pretty cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

That’s ridiculous! I do pre-school drop off and pick up and I always chat with the women as they are very friendly. But these moms are definitely not dressed for adult “pick ups”.

+1 I can’t imagine this. I mean - once, maybe, with a very forward person, but multiple times? I don’t care how attractive you are - I don’t buy it.

yea that one was funny. Multiple moms coming up to rub her breasts on you at day care pick up?
thanks for the laugh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

That’s ridiculous! I do pre-school drop off and pick up and I always chat with the women as they are very friendly. But these moms are definitely not dressed for adult “pick ups”.

+1 I can’t imagine this. I mean - once, maybe, with a very forward person, but multiple times? I don’t care how attractive you are - I don’t buy it.

yea that one was funny. Multiple moms coming up to rub her breasts on you at day care pick up?
thanks for the laugh

I hope they weren't still lactating. His dry-cleaning bills would have been horrendous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you spend a lot of traveling for business and you attend a lot of conferences or trade shows it’s inevitable that the opportunity will arise. Dinners and hotel bars have a way of loosening people up and if someone is lonely and looking for “love” they will make it very clear. I’ve had plenty of opportunities and when I see them rising I find a way to change the subject or make a polite exit.

+1 I know it’s different, but when I was single I had to attend functions at a hotel in NYC, and my friend/colleague used to like to go to the hotel bar afterward. We were hit on by married men more than once. I remember asked them about their kids, that usually stopped it pretty cold.

Asking about children and spouses is the best line of defense. Or talking about your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exes on Facebook is an easy and common one. I’ve gotten a few friend requests from ex-girlfriends who I hadn’t heard from in 20+ years. I can tell what they’re hinting at. Same with business travel. I’ve been propositioned by women in my company (diff branch). One time a neighbor but she was divorced. Women give obvious signals when they are willing.

Are you a very good looking guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first three years? Easy ... it might get more difficult (it might not) as you age and your dynamics change. I would never have considered an affair in year 3. Year 15? I'm considering.

LOL THIS

I always roll my eyes when people who are newly married say things like "I don't geeeet why people say it's so haaaard."

B$tch, you're in the honeymoon phase. You're right, it SHOULDN'T be hard. If it is, you married the wrong person. Come alk to me when you've been married for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

NP, so they/she “rubbed” her “tits” on you in broad daylight in a daycare classroom in the middle of busy pickup? Come on.

No, they rubbed their tits on me during play dates after the pickup.

“They”...so multiple women have rubbed their t**s on you. Nice fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first three years? Easy ... it might get more difficult (it might not) as you age and your dynamics change. I would never have considered an affair in year 3. Year 15? I'm considering.

LOL THIS

I always roll my eyes when people who are newly married say things like "I don't geeeet why people say it's so haaaard."

B$tch, you're in the honeymoon phase. You're right, it SHOULDN'T be hard. If it is, you married the wrong person. Come alk to me when you've been married for 20 years.

My wife and I were one of those couples saying that. It's been 15 years now and we're still saying it. Guess a lot can change in the 5 years we have to wait before we go talk to you, lol. People just don't know how to pick spouses I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first three years? Easy ... it might get more difficult (it might not) as you age and your dynamics change. I would never have considered an affair in year 3. Year 15? I'm considering.

LOL THIS

I always roll my eyes when people who are newly married say things like "I don't geeeet why people say it's so haaaard."

B$tch, you're in the honeymoon phase. You're right, it SHOULDN'T be hard. If it is, you married the wrong person. Come alk to me when you've been married for 20 years.

I’m on year 6 and it’s already sounding appealing. And I’m a woman btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of times. The first was within a few months of getting married and on a Sunday I had flown to LA and then sat at the hotel bar to get something to eat. The woman sitting next to me was quickly very flirty and in my head I was saying you’ve got to be kidding! Since then there have been at least a half dozen times the opportunity arose but I never had an interest other than it was nice to be hit on. I have a wonderful wife and we have a great sex life so I’d be an idiot to put that at risk.

Quite likely a pro. Business hotel bars are full of potential customers.

[Anonymous]

BIO, every year.

[Anonymous]

I've been married for 16 years and the opportunities to cheat are everywhere for both of us. I've had more than him, esp. when we were first married, but he has had several too. We don't cheat but we always disclose when someone propositions us. Not sure why. I think it's just because it happens more often than we ever thought it would. I've had it come up in many places- work, parties, general public, other parents, etc. For DH, it has been a stranger once and the mother of one of our kid's friends. The other kid's father found out that his wife tried and blew up at it, so our kid had to end the friendship. It was very weird and uncomfortable for the kids.

We keep to ourselves as much as possible. People don't seem to understand healthy boundaries and it is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of times. The first was within a few months of getting married and on a Sunday I had flown to LA and then sat at the hotel bar to get something to eat. The woman sitting next to me was quickly very flirty and in my head I was saying you’ve got to be kidding! Since then there have been at least a half dozen times the opportunity arose but I never had an interest other than it was nice to be hit on. I have a wonderful wife and we have a great sex life so I’d be an idiot to put that at risk.

Quite likely a pro. Business hotel bars are full of potential customers.

Yes that is definitely a pro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been married for 16 years and the opportunities to cheat are everywhere for both of us. I've had more than him, esp. when we were first married, but he has had several too. We don't cheat but we always disclose when someone propositions us. Not sure why. I think it's just because it happens more often than we ever thought it would. I've had it come up in many places- work, parties, general public, other parents, etc. For DH, it has been a stranger once and the mother of one of our kid's friends. The other kid's father found out that his wife tried and blew up at it, so our kid had to end the friendship. It was very weird and uncomfortable for the kids.

We keep to ourselves as much as possible. People don't seem to understand healthy boundaries and it is annoying.

Your DH must have given some indication that he was in to the mother of your kids friends. I just can’t imagine flirting with an uninterested man would get so blown out of proportion that the husband would blow up. Unless the husband was excessively jealous.

[Anonymous]

14 years married and never considered cheating or had opportunities. We did a kitchen reno and after several months in the trenches with the contractor I started to develop feelings for him. There was chemistry and it was mutual but nothing ever happened, neither of us acted on it. Not worth crossing the line but the rush of feelings was kind of fun and my husband definitely benefited from that.