Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're planning on testifying in court, you should just wait and then send the link to the court case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re gonna blow up my world, you’d better sign your name and be ready to show me proof/tell me to my face.

Weird. I would want to know. If somebody sent details in a letter, you bet your @ss I’m investigating. It’s always true. Middle aged people aren’t sending spite letters. If am email or phone call happens telling you your spouse is stepping out, you be best advised to believe it...and demand answers. I would do some investigating before showing my hand.

You seem oddly angry. I would not kill the messenger.

Anonymous is not a messenger. It’s a cowards way out.

I’m not angry, never cheated or been cheated on to my knowledge. If you send me a letter you’d better leave a way for me to contact you.

Or what?

Or I throw away the letter and move on with my life.

Good luck with your crumbling marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re gonna blow up my world, you’d better sign your name and be ready to show me proof/tell me to my face.

Weird. I would want to know. If somebody sent details in a letter, you bet your @ss I’m investigating. It’s always true. Middle aged people aren’t sending spite letters. If am email or phone call happens telling you your spouse is stepping out, you be best advised to believe it...and demand answers. I would do some investigating before showing my hand.

You seem oddly angry. I would not kill the messenger.

Anonymous is not a messenger. It’s a cowards way out.

I’m not angry, never cheated or been cheated on to my knowledge. If you send me a letter you’d better leave a way for me to contact you.

Or what?

Good luck with your silent HPV cancer. You should have saved the letter.
Or I throw away the letter and move on with my life.

Good luck with your crumbling marriage

[Anonymous]

Out her on dcum!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re gonna blow up my world, you’d better sign your name and be ready to show me proof/tell me to my face.

Weird. I would want to know. If somebody sent details in a letter, you bet your @ss I’m investigating. It’s always true. Middle aged people aren’t sending spite letters. If am email or phone call happens telling you your spouse is stepping out, you be best advised to believe it...and demand answers. I would do some investigating before showing my hand.

You seem oddly angry. I would not kill the messenger.

Anonymous is not a messenger. It’s a cowards way out.

I’m not angry, never cheated or been cheated on to my knowledge. If you send me a letter you’d better leave a way for me to contact you.

Or what?

Or I throw away the letter and move on with my life.

Good luck with your crumbling marriage

Good luck with your silent HPV cancer. You should have heeded the letter’s warning.

[Anonymous]

Marriages are more than just sexual fidelity for many people.

Sorry you can’t get past it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you send via email or certified letter (signature required)? It was a multi-year affair, unprotected sex. He deserves to know.

I sent mine registered, certified mail requiring her and only her signature. I forget what that is called but you can do it. I was afraid her husband, who was banging my wife, would intercept it.

Ask me if you want to know more.

Did the betrayed wife reach out to you after the letter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re gonna blow up my world, you’d better sign your name and be ready to show me proof/tell me to my face.

LOL who are you again? The AP? And you're making demands of the OP? LOL

Np: you’re obviously unable follow along - they would be the AP’s spouse (innocent party) making “demands” on OP to include her name/contact information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it. Why bring another person's problems into your life? But if you must, then sure certified mail

She brought herself into OP’s life.

Np: OP’s husband brought her into OP’s life, that’s a critical detail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it. Why bring another person's problems into your life? But if you must, then sure certified mail

She brought herself into OP’s life.

Np: OP’s husband brought her into OP’s life, that’s a critical detail

She’s no innocent. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, cheaters will tell you not to do this. It’s the right thing to do. Read “surviving infidelity” and “betrayed wives” blogs. They advise doing this.

Wrong. As a woman who was cheated on multiple times by my ex, I would never advise a woman to do something like this--it lacks dignity. And you aren't doing it for the right reason. At the root, you are doing it out of spite-- and we all know it.

You will feel much better about yourself if you simply move on. Also, what's to say she won't be the one who checks the mail that day? Stop expending your energy on petty, vindictive behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

Thank you, pp. This is exactly what stops me from doing it. I know she is a vile, nasty person with zero self-esteem and will continue being unhappy because she hates her life, her husband and doesn’t even like her kids very much. She hated her parents too.

I am working through PTSD and when the triggers come it is rough going, but I think if my own kids and that’s what’s keeping me together (barely) for now.

I know living well is the best revenge. I was. That’s especially made her angry or “jealous” as she told me. It will take time. From what I am told, minimum of two years- probably longer.

Venting here helps.

So he chose a vile, nasty person with no self esteem over you. Where does that put you in the line up? Since you’re staying, how much self esteem do you have?

You sound like my neighbor who catches her husband every year or so....

I doubt any of the descriptors about the ow are true. It's simply easier for op to deflect and vilify her. Amazing how op's husband is none of those horrible things things when he is the one who broke his vows.

[Anonymous]

I did. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Whores are going to whore. Send it if it makes you feel better. It’s the price of playing ball for the cheaters. You owe them nothing. They certainly weren’t thinking of you when they were getting off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, cheaters will tell you not to do this. It’s the right thing to do. Read “surviving infidelity” and “betrayed wives” blogs. They advise doing this.

Wrong. As a woman who was cheated on multiple times by my ex, I would never advise a woman to do something like this--it lacks dignity. And you aren't doing it for the right reason. At the root, you are doing it out of spite-- and we all know it.

You will feel much better about yourself if you simply move on. Also, what's to say she won't be the one who checks the mail that day? Stop expending your energy on petty, vindictive behavior.

Hence the registered/certified letter or email directly to his account. Catch up

Why were you cheated on multiple times? Why didn’t you get rid of your ex sooner?

OP- only you can make the decision. Take all of the time you need. I know many people that do it way after the fact when they are in a safe place.